I'm 28 right now and my husband is 31. I have wanted a baby for so long but my husband won't even consider it. I'm not even sure that I can have children but I want to at least try. It is causing stress in our marriage. I don't want to do anything to undermine his faith in me but it feels like he is acting like an immature child himself. Whenever I approach the subject of children he says we are too young and walks off. Any advise.
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Making a baby is a very hard decision especially for man. I was premarring my husband for 3 years :-)
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I am only 23 yrs old but after having two misscarriages in a previous relationship, i have felt i have been left with a big ball of emptiness to fill in my life. My soon to be husband wont even consider having children until way in the future and all i get when i ask him to please consider my feelings is, 'we need time to enjoy just been together and more money is coming in'. We both have extremely well paid jobs for our ages and a nice home, however, my need for wanting a baby now has become more urgent as my mum is seriously ill and has 5yrs at the most left to live IF her treatment works. He just can't see i want my child and my mother to have at least some time together. Am i been unreasonable because i know he would love our baby because after a pregnancy scare, he admitted he was kind of sad it was a false alarm after he got over the initial shock! He wont admit that now though of course and the contraception measures he now takes are over the top, which leaves me feeling a bit rubbish really because he obviously doesn't trust me.
Please help, i know i am not the only one in this situation but i feel so alone.
Please help, i know i am not the only one in this situation but i feel so alone.
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I'm 18 and my husband is 22, yes I know I'm younger then you guys. Anyways, I really want to have a baby. My husband says he wants to be financially ready and all that but I try to tell him you're never ready! He just don't get it. My goals in life are to be a good wife and be a good mother, that's all. I want to give him & me a baby, I want that little miracle. He tells me we need to wait 1-2 more years and I really don't want to. I just don't know how to handle this because I feel beyond ready. It breaks my heart that he doesn't want to have a baby. My brother has a little girl that's now seven months and I'm so jealous of him. An my good friend just has a baby! I feel like babies are everywhere.
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Its so great to hear this from someone else! I have been married to the most wonderful man in the world for a year now, but we dated for several years before that. He's 27 and I'm 28. He's known from the beginning that I wanted to start a family before I turn 30, but now he keeps putting me off. He says we'll have kids when "we're ready" even though I know he means when "he's ready". I've had three friends who've had babies in the last two months, and I've found out that two more are pregnant in the last week. Even though I'm thrilled for them, my heart aches and I all I want to do is cry. My husband thinks its all for attention and absolutely hystericaly funny, which makes me feel like he's patronizing me. His mother had children well into her 40's, but I can't get him to realize that is NOT typical. He truly is a wonderful man so I feel guilty for even complaining about this!
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I'm in the same boat as everyone here. I am 21 and my husband is 23. We got married on new years eve of 2008 and before getting married we both agreed that we would wait at least 3-4 years. In Feb of 09 I got pregnant by accident and miscarried... I never understood the urge to be a mother until now. Now I want a baby so bad, not to mention all my friends and family are having babies, so that makes it harder on me to see them and have him saying hes not ready. He is an insane worry wort and when he found out I was pregnant in Feb, could barley eat he was so nervous. He absoutly has told me many times he wants a baby, but I just can't convince him. We compromised on trying to get pregnant in November of this year, but I feel like every day he's getting more annoyed with me talking about babies. I've always wanted to be a young mom. I am graduating with my MA in psychology in May 09, and will get a job so I have my education under my belt. I know I can wait until November, but everyday I think about it...
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I feel the same way. I'm 20 and my husband is 21 and we've been married (4-20 will be 3 years) but have been together for 4 and i want a kid more then anything I've ever wanted i feel like I'm ready and i can handle one.The first time i asked he said when we get a car that was a while back But now he tells me wait until i get skinny.I'm sure he tells me when i loose weight because hes worried about my health but he also said he wanted to wait till were 25. I know I'm so young but i can feel it in my soul that i should have a baby. I love kids they are magnificent and it just aches my heart that he doesn't want one yet.I have not mentioned it to him lately that i want one because i don't want him to be annoyed with me.I just want him to understand but i don't know how without him getting upset with me...*sigh*
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First. I'm a guy. There is no good time to have a baby. For those of your who have been married for a while. He is either scared or he doesn't want to have a child. If its the first, he won't change unless you make him. If it is the latter you need to leave him now and find someone who will be a true partner with you.
I have a job. I'm not bad looking. I'm 30. I told someone no and now regret it deeply. I would love to have the experience of making and having a child. So make him put up or shut up and if you have any guts. Let me know. We could be together within the month and depending on when you are fertile you could be pregnant within two. Six months from now we could feel our baby jumping in your womb and a year from now we could be holding each other and looking down at our sleeping baby.
Whether or not you take me up on my offer. Isn't my picture better than the one you face every day of sitting around waiting for someone to give you your dream. Either make him put up or shut up or be the first to take me up on my offer. I'll work every day to make you happy.
Hayden
I have a job. I'm not bad looking. I'm 30. I told someone no and now regret it deeply. I would love to have the experience of making and having a child. So make him put up or shut up and if you have any guts. Let me know. We could be together within the month and depending on when you are fertile you could be pregnant within two. Six months from now we could feel our baby jumping in your womb and a year from now we could be holding each other and looking down at our sleeping baby.
Whether or not you take me up on my offer. Isn't my picture better than the one you face every day of sitting around waiting for someone to give you your dream. Either make him put up or shut up or be the first to take me up on my offer. I'll work every day to make you happy.
Hayden
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I totally understand! My husband and I have been married for 5 years, a total of 9 years together this coming September. I've always dreamed that I would have my first baby when I was 22. Now I am 23 (I know, I know, only a year later), going on 24, and when I bring up the topic of children, my husband says he doesn't want any until "we are settled," "financially stable," and "done with school." We are graduating in 1 week with our BAs and I have been accepted to a Doctor of Pharmacy program. I think it is safe to say that we are going to be financially stable. I don't want to wait till I am 27 (or 32 as my husband would prefer) to have my first baby! My parents we young when they had me, i liked that as a child. I feel so overwhelmed by my desire to have a baby, to be a mother. If there is one thing I do with my life and NOTHING else, it would be to have kids. I've felt that way my entire life. In fact I'm thinking about telling him that this summer I am not going to take my birth control. If we get pregnant, great, if not, I'll start my birth control again until I graduate from my PharmD program. I just don't know if I can take it anymore. We'll see how that one goes, I think I'm going to talk to him about that plan over dinner tonight....
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Men view things differently and many times they are more analytical and logical. While you're thinking cute baby and holding it being a mommy he's viewing it as how much money is this going to cost? Will we have enough to take care of the baby? Both are good ways to view it and that is the benefit of having two parents. I would recommend sitting down and having a heart to heart talk discussing the issue of why you want a baby and why he may not be ready. Be open and don't go in with the mindset of trying to convince him. Just be ready to listen.
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8-| I want a 3rd baby and my husband of 7 years says no were done. so i told him to have fun preventing it himself! he knows I want one and I know he doesnt. were being open and honest at the same time. so we use the withdrawl method.....2 years and so far I guess hes pretty good at it. but at least i feel like im not tricking him and theres still the poss of having another one.
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Finally! I'm young, just 21 but I have certainly wanted to make babies with my husband since we started dating five years ago. I love him and he is definitely being sensible when he says 'let's wait until you've finished uni' and 'let's wait until we're on our way to owning our own place' and I agree that that would be a good idea. But I can't help wanting to have a little son or daughter. Someone that is an extension of us, someone to teach and adore and boast about. (I have high expectations of motherhood!) And even though I know that I will wait the required four to five years for our goals to be met I can't help thinking that I'm unhealthily obsessed with becoming a mother. It can become all consuming and cause me to resent my husband that he won't let us be fruitful. But seriously, I thought I was wierd. That I needed help. None of my other female friends express their maternal desires so urgently or powerfully, if at all and even my mother and grandmother claim to have been ambivalent about motherhood before it snuck up on them, so it is such a relief to hear from other women who are similarly desperate for children. I hope that I don't have to experience the doubt and heartache that so many of you are going through. It is hard as a wife or girlfriend to stand your ground and say this is what we need to do and this is why, when our partners are suddenly so eloquent and sensible and as much as they love, treasure and respect us I really do not think most of them would make the emotional and biological sacrifices that you women have already made. You have inspired me. You have my respect. Thank you.
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I am 24 and i am going through alot of these same issues.. Im not married yet but my Faince's idea of a perfect time 2 get married and have a baby is when WE have enough money. I keep trying 2 tell him that if we keep waiting for that BIGG lump sum to roll in, we will always b waiting. there is nothing stopping us from moving foward other then ourselves. I feel that if WE (he) really wanted to save money and move out of his parents house and get married and have children we could. im ready 2 put in the hard work and sleepless nights.... I'v been doing it my whole working life. how do i help him c that we can do it and if we make a few mistakes along the road,we will just have 2 fix it? %-) 8-| ?
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Hello I am also really wanting a baby for a long time. I am very excited and cant wait to become a mother. I have been with my partner for 5 years. he is 31 and i am 27. Everytime i mention about children he puts it on me like saying "if you want a child you can have one" but its like he has not excitement or enthusiasm?? i feel soo alone, i said we could try next year and he says ok but again without the excitement and i feel its just me always wanting - makes me think does he really want a family? he says he does but he does not come accross as excited as me
Any replies would be lovely
Thanks
Sparkle
Any replies would be lovely
Thanks
Sparkle
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My husband always says, wait till I get out of school and start making some money. Well, I did and he finished school and guess what...he's not making any money. at that point, he said we could try if I wanted because he promised me but i said we could wait cause i knew he didn't really want it. now he is in school again, and i told him a week ago that i wanted to start trying in february and he said o.k. but it's like i was twisting his arm. so today i said i won't pressure him and he can tell me when he is ready. he just said o.k. so i asked him what he is waiting on anyways and he said to finish school. well i have heard that before. even when he finally does get a descent job he will say, let's wait till i have had the job for a few years. cause he has used that excuse before. also, he says, but we need to go out and have fun first. then i became sad which he of course didn't understand. he says i was angry at him. i said no just sad. he doesn't get it. i have been with him for four years. i have gone back and forth on the baby issue. sometimes i say i don't want it cause i am trying to convince myself that i don't need to be a mom. but it's all i ever really wanted.
i am 28 and he is 32. it isn't easy when you see everyone from high school have anywhere from 1 to 4 children. it also isn't easy to see your 3 younger sisters having children. or your best friend on her second.
i don't think he gets me at all. i know i will have fertility problems anyways. it is going to be harder and harder to actually get pregnant as time goes on. he won't be out of school for three more years. i will be 31.
i love him but right now he is pissing me off something fierce.
i am 28 and he is 32. it isn't easy when you see everyone from high school have anywhere from 1 to 4 children. it also isn't easy to see your 3 younger sisters having children. or your best friend on her second.
i don't think he gets me at all. i know i will have fertility problems anyways. it is going to be harder and harder to actually get pregnant as time goes on. he won't be out of school for three more years. i will be 31.
i love him but right now he is pissing me off something fierce.
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