There has only really been 2 girls that I have had the admiration for that is equal to the admiration I have had for some men and both of those lady friends of mine did not love me they way I loved them.
The advice I am searching for is what to do with my feelings for my room mate (we have year of living to go). (Ideally I would like my life to be either gay or straight because the way I'm operating now prevents anything from happening.)
There's absolutely nothing wrong with the feelings you are having. Even at your age, young adults still often find themselves a bit confused. However, your attraction to people may be because you are attracted ti the personality and seek companionship in general. Your desire to kiss may be that you honestly simply want a physically intimate relationship and the idea arouses you, but makes you feel most comfortable to think about such with someone you already feel acquainted with.
It's clear from your post that you have feelings for both males and females at this point. Perhaps experimentation would be the right way to sort out your feelings, and you should decide if you want to be gay, straight or bisexual even. You may never lose your attraction to both genders.
As for what to do with your roommate, I would recommend not acting on someone so close. Incidentally, if he rejects your advancement (and not particularly fond of homosexuals), it could make your time spent with him progressively more awkward and difficult.
So when you think of likeing guys don't think that firemen&Policemen, business men,Dr.'s or construction workers aren't gay. Gay men work in everykind of job, they just keep their personal lifes personal.Sometimes when you spend time with someone, you have a closer friendship than most..Watch a movie called BIG EDEN, it involves 2 best friends,one who was in love with the other, but his friend loved him. it's a good movie. Sometimes relationships aeren't always what we think they are.If you get to know this guy to the point of good friends, sit down and talk to him about you think, but would never act on .He may be as scared as you to act on feelings.
Give him a blow job, thats what I did with my roomate, same story actually. He liked it. But we dont really talk about, how much sex we have, he still has a girl friend. And I have a girl-Friend type deal also. I dont know, hes the only guy Im attracted to.
My first job , everyone knew I was, but nothing was said. A Bellman, nice blonde,well built guy, ask me why I didn't go to the gym work out and get in better shape to defend myself. This was a straight guy, who was concerned about a fellow employee. Most of all, all gay guys do not have anal intercourse.
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These are both yahoo groups,looking into them may answer some questions. People always assume that all gay men, do the same thing. What you do, usually depends on the chemistry of the two people involved. You can always admire the work that goes into staying in shape to the point that they draw attention. If a girl draws attention, that is natural., And is your attraction,that he is someone you have things that you admire, or do you get a hard on when he is in the room? Maybe when you have spent more time together, you can have a beer and start a discussion on the types of guys who people never suspect are gay. Like quaterbacks,other sports figure, celebrities. People whoo you would meet and find out and it wouldn't be a problem.The first talk doesn't need to go all the way to your ptoblem. But you will find out how he feels about men that are famous and came out. It may be a roadblock, but is may lead to other talks. Start slow if he's cool, just lay in bed and spoon, arm around your chest, with nothing else going on, just chillin together. It's new to you,and new to him,best to take baby steps to get where your'e going. He will pick up spees, if he finds he likes it.
It is quite common for young men of this age to find others of the same age very attractive and to want to indulge in sexual activity with them. That often happens, even when the parties concerned profess to be 'straight'. In fact there is a natural tendency for men to have bisexual feelings throughout their lives. Many will deny that they have such feelings but one only has to compare a good looking young man's body with that of an older past-being-attractive woman to realise why these feelings arise.
You talk about gay life / society but here you are misunderstanding what being gay is actually about. The press / TV only show a very small, flamboyant, section of the gay world. The vast majority of gay men are indistinguishable from their straight counterparts, they do all the same sorts of things in their daily lives, except perhaps in bed. One does not need to enjoy anal intercourse to be gay, the vast majority never bother with it. I speak here as a predominately gay man who knows hundreds of others and their lifestyles.
Despite what the homophobes say there is nothing inherently wrong with having feelings for other men or choosing to have sexual relations with those we love.
I suggest that you talk privately with the room-mate you fancy and admit to him that you do have some attraction towards other men. From his response you can gauge whether to go further and talk about your feelings towards him in particular. These conversations are not easy (as I can personally attest) and must be taken with extreme care. Prior consumption of plenty of alcohol by both parties often helps.
If & when your attraction to other men continues into later life you may spend much time regretting having done nothing should you make that choice now. You are young, take whatever opportunities are available.