23 year old male (probably not what you were expecting). I also have a history of anxiety problems so that just make's everything worse from the get go.
Anyways. For the past few years I have had somewhat of a "crush" on this girl. Over the past 3 or so month I noticed it was not just a regular crush I was feeling anymore. It was much more profound. Now I know everyone has their own description of what "in love" actually is and how it feels but just from past experience this is stronger than anything I have ever felt.
The knowledge that I've never even met her in person and I'm feeling this level of commitment to her was terrifying. The knowledge that she doesn't know I exist makes me deeply upset. Knowing the odds of us ever even meeting are almost zero gives me headaches. And within the last month I have started feeling physically ill when I see her on television or hear her songs on the radio or computer. Even seeing pictures of her in magazines or on the internet makes me nauseous knowing I will likely never be with her.
Thanks in advance
I will cut to the chase here, you need some professional help. I am not trying to be rude or insensitive but your post make's me a tad nervous. I will not mention name's but there have been several instances where a crush has turned into a tradgedy. Men who have secret crushes on a movir star or a performer have taken something innocent and turned it into a complete nightmare. You are letting this control you and it is really starting to take you over, totally.
Many of us can get "star struck" but that is as far as it should go. Many of us have fantasies of our favorite actor or our favorite singer, that is as far asit should go as well. Letting this take over your life to the point where you can barely function is a serious problem. I sort of shudderd when i read your post, especially the part where you say that because she doesn't know you even exist really upset's you, deeply. I hope this doesn't happen but do you feel compelled to try to see her or make contact with her somehow?
You seriously need to see a therapist. I am not trying to be a smart ass either, but you should seek counseling as soon as possible. You have allowed this person to take you over and that is a serious issue.