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I'm just not good with my feelings. I mean...I'm pregnant and people say it's just my hormones, but even way before I fell pregnant I've just become this depressive person. Through my childhood I was perfectly fine, I was happy. But once I hit my teens that was when everything started. I became interested in boys way more and then there was bullying. I started out as how most girls do, just keeping quiet and not telling anyone. But eventually I began getting angry. Getting bullied happened a little when I started year7. These 2 girls were complete bit***s, calling me names for nothing and there was this boy and his mates. He kept trying to grab my arse and told everyone I was a slag. I think that part that hurt me the most was when being a virgin and not even thinking about having sex for a long time, I had random older guys from my school asking if I fancied a quick shag. I moved schools due to moving houses and I got bullied even more. The entire form had such hate for me that everyday the girls would call me ugly, push me, take the piss out of little things like the way I can't help but pull faces to show the way I feel. I know it sounds really stupid but it comes naturally to me. The boys tried avoiding me because of the girls, I couldn't be friendly to one boy without girls saying I fancied that guy and that we'd be dating soon. I just ended up being friends with 4 boys. They were known as the 'Losers' of the form, just the ones who got bullied whenever they did something that made them get noticed just a tiny bit. One of them was real nice, he was the one I was most closest to and I began to fancy him to be honest. Then because he was getting bullied also, I lost the one close friend I had at that school, he left.
I got bitchy to those who were rude to me (other students). I began to not care about being late and getting detentions. Then I just stopped going to school, I couldn't be bothered to work or get into daily arguments. I'd literally just go to school like...1 day a week and it would be a thursday or friday. Then again I moved schools, just to once again get bullied slightly, girls would make rude jokes and comments about me, boys would pull my hair and kick my seat. I kept my anger in because until the boys in my lessons would start to pretend flirt with me and order me to do their work. I obviously said no and told them where to go. By then I had a small group of friends, all girls. The unpopular ones to that school, but they grew to like me and things became good. Dating was fine etc. Then I just stopped wanting to go to school. I began to not go.
Later on in my life got complicated with my family, my mum kept arguing with me and assumed I hated her, I'd argue with my little sister and then my mum started saying I hated my little sister too. I couldn't handle it anymore, I moved out and now live with my boyfriend. Now he wonders if I love him, he asks me now and again. I do love him, I really do. It's just I do get pissed off easily and I have a short temper, he says things that I tend to not like it. He doesn't say anything seriously hurtful or abusive, but one or two little things make me upset. I just go quiet and sigh, I know I'm not sounding like the best right now but, I don't know why I'm so depressive. I love him so much and he's my world. We're having a baby and I couldn't be happier about it. Do I give off this bad vibe? I mean, is there something about me that just seems depressive?


It sounds like you suffer from depression.  Depression can cause general low mood, sudden anger, and exhaustion.  You've described all three of those.

It sounds like that, at the heart of this depression, there's low self-esteem.  So I'm going to suggest you feed that self-esteem by doing three things.

The first is affirmations.  Affirmations are positive statements one says to themselves to change personal perceptions.  Say them every day, in front of the mirror, at least 20 times each, for at least three weeks.  I would also suggest you say them throughout the day to yourself out loud and in your head.  It may seem weird to say them in front of the mirror, but that's because we're challenging ourselves to believe something we don't.  How many of us can comfortably say "I'm ugly" to ourselves in the mirror?  It's because we believe it.  So even if it feels weird, keep saying the affirmations.

The affirmations are:
I love and approve of myself.
I deserve to be treated with respect and love.
I attract loving, healthy relationships.
I treat others the way I want to be treated.

The second thing is to relax every day.  If you've got exhaustion, it's important to take care of yourself.  So for twenty minutes every day, do something relaxing.  This can include meditation, taking a warm bath, yoga, taking a relaxing and calm walk, reading a gentle book to relaxing music, or watching a movie that puts you in a good mood.

The third thing is to perform a random act of kindness daily.  It doesn't have to be a huge thing, but make sure it comes from the heart.  You can pay for the person behind you at the fast food joint.  You can smile and say hello to those you see on the street.  You can compliment strangers.  Anything like that.  When we love others, it feeds love for ourselves and heightens our mood.

I would also suggest you see someone to look at your hormone levels.  Maybe you need more serotonin or dopamine, or something like that.  When our hormones are off, it can cause depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders.  Personally, I suggest someone in natural medicine, but it's up to you who you see.