I have a 3 month old baby and I am so not down with this whole new mom thing yet. I'm planning to go back to work part time when my baby is a year old (family business working with the public) so I have some time to prepare for the real world, LOL, but I'm feeling, you know, mwah? Most days I'm stuck in yoga pants and old t-shirts with baby puke and my hair looks dreadful and my face looks like a lifeless sheet. I've also not lost my pregnancy weight by a long shot.
I need to boost my self confidence. Wearing nice clothes, doing my hair and putting some nice makeup on does that. But I don't even have time for the makeup!
How do you manage??? Tips please!
Ugh, some new mothers do seem to manage it, don't they? Don't ever forget that you're not Kim Kardashian with a whole army of makeup artists and stylists at your disposal! Babies are only tiny for such a short amount of time. At the end of the day, there is no shame at all in relishing this time with your little one and mostly staying indoors looking "unpresentable". By the time they're a few years old and you've got daycare involved, there's going to be so much more you can do. Meanwhile, the memories of the time you spend with your baby now will always remain.
Having said that, if it really bothers you, try:
- Napping when baby naps. Extra sleep will do wonders for your looks.
- Having a shower when you partner's home and can look after the baby, then take time to do your hair and makeup as well. If you're a morning person, getting up before everyone else to do this can be great.
- Go jogging with your baby in tow to lose those pregnancy pounds.
- Wear clothes you like even knowing they will get dirty.
Good luck! You will get there. Sleep deprivation and hormones mess with your self image a lot as well.
My kids are older now, but I do remember what it used to be like - basically exactly as you say! First pregnancy, I luckily fit into my old clothes right away, but the second one, that was a different story! I'm still not down to the weight I was at before and my oldest kid is seven, youngest five. Not to mention the stretch marks and saggy breasts that never did go away...
Now my kids are at school, I do my best to avoid the "mom look". I want some time to myself and be my own person as well, and that includes looking hot!
When you got a newborn though? You do deserve time to yourself if you can get it of course. But if you have other priorities that's fine too.
One thing that helped me was using a baby carrier. I could do my hair and apply makeup while the baby was sleeping. Mine always woke up when I didn't touch them. I kept my clothes simple and similar so people wouldn't notice if I changed my top three times a day. I got rid of my gel nails because I just didn't have time and didn't want to scratch their bodies.
This too shall pass, basically...
I am not a mom yet and I just realized that I don't know if many of the regular posters here are, either! I do have moms in my circle of friends though. I have no idea how hard it would be to look well-dressed and well-presented with a baby, but I suspect I won't care all that much. I like what Rosie said, babies expire, and not everyone has people at their side to help them look good. It just sounds like something fairly low on what my list of priorities would be.
I do enjoy looking good, for myself, but much of how I dress and do my makeup is also for my employer. If I stay in for the weekend for whatever reason, I don't dress nicely or put makeup on. I imagine being a new mom is just like that.
LOL, my sister always looked like a diva, my nephew's older now too but I remember it well. She was up and about real soon after giving birth and always killed her looks too. My mum babysat for my newphew pretty much from the very start of course so she had a lot of help, she was a young mum. There's very much the idea that mums deserve to have their fun too in my family, lots of extended family about always. Not to say you're doing something wrong hun if you don't have that, not at all, but yeah I do agree you deserve to take five and do your basics.
I wanted to contribute, as a mother of three.
Honestly, getting the things I wanted to have done done wasn't hard for me as a mom of one and a mom of two. Finding the time to keep the house at least fairly clean and tidy, to cook at least quick meals, and to look at least semi presentable, was not hard. I honestly found myself wondering what other moms were talking about sometimes!
Then number three came along.
No, it wasn't the baby. He's by far my most compliant child. As a newborn, he was quiet and happy. Now at 18 months, he does the things that 18 month old toddlers do, which can be exhausting, but nothing is out of the ordinary. It was ME.
Sanctimonious halo off, alright!
Everyone is different. If things are working out fine for you from your stand point, there is nothing to worry about. If you are unhappy, it is time to try to change something. For me, that meant no longer doing it all myself. I hired help for the house. I frequently leave the third child with my husband when I want to go out somewhere with the other two. Three is hard. For ME. Similarly, if something isn't working for you now and you wish you had the time to at least put on some makeup, maybe buy some new clothes and actually try them on, there's no shame in asking for help. There's also no shame in putting the baby down for a while. Really. I know that goes against what now seems to be the mainsteam of natural parenting, but we moms are people too and we do deserve time to get ready to go out.
1. Get an easy haircut. To me, that means either long enough to put into a quick bun, or short enough that you can just pull off the "messy trendy" look without much styling.
2. No matter what else you do or don't do, don't neglect your skincare. Cared for skin is better looking skin, and better looking skin required way less makeup to look fab. So for me that means washing the face twice a day, using a toner, a good moisturizer for my skin, and a hyaluronic acid serum (now, not when my kids were little, but I would if I had another kid because the stuff is great).
3. Buy decent clothes that are actually comfortable, and fit well, so you are not tempted to do the whole yoga pants routine.
4. A bit of makeup, people. Not a lot. Mascara and gloss is enough if your skin looks great.
A haircut. I also like that idea. I don't want "mom hair" (AKA short boring cut), but as it is, a long bob that's always messy (neither curly nor straight hair and no time to fix it), I just feel mwah most of the time. I'm ready to feel like me again, not like tired mommy, so perhaps it is time for a new me.
If you are well rested and eating a healthy and balanced diet, you don't even need makeup to make it happen. Just have confidence in yourself and the inside will reflect on the outside.