The first pain killer I ever took was a 40mg Oxycontin, this was back in 2000 when there were no generics. By 2002 I was taking 6-80mg Oxy's a day. When my supplier went dry I had to turn to something else. I started taking Morphine Sulafate, the 100mg tabs. I was up to taking 1200mg a day, that's 1.2 grams of morphine a day! Has anyone heard of a tolerance this high? After my friend's supply of morphine went dry I ran into the 100mcg/hr Fentanyl patches. I was wearing 4 patches at once- this barely kept me from withdrawing. I am now on methadone because nothing else works for me. It's been a life-saver!
:-( :-( :-( i got on mathadone when i went to jail so i could get by better but now im out and it hell i was on 30mg now 28mg im going to take it slow thats how im going to get off. :-) :-)
I have been taking 1 1/2 to 2 pills a day for about 6 to 8 mo.'s Do you think i can wean myself off of them by myself, by taking 1 every other day then a half every other for about a mo.
"The DUNCE who wrote this retarded statement must a 12 stepper who has absolutely NO IDEA what opiate withdrawal is or feels like"
"PS: Peachybum - What do you know about methadone? It is just as illegal as Oxycontin or Dilaudid. Do you think that some support group could ever help overcome the withdrawls of long term opiate addiction?"
These two statements are a bit harsh wouldn't you say? This person was only trying to help and offer some advice. And yes, support groups absolutely can help. We are all here for the same reason, addiction is what it is, opiate or not. So offer support and guidance, not criticism!
Jerrycia... Sure, it is a great drug when you're using it as prescribed to come off of something else, but when you're using it to get high, completely different story. I am also a methadone addict. I use it to get high, at about 150 mg per day. I have tried to wean slowly, without much luck. The withdrawal is terrible and can last longer than most opiates. I am going to try the cold turkey approach...call me crazy, but I think breaking up with all of my old "friends" and dealers and just fuggin doin it is what's gonna work for me.
Anyway, I just wanted to say good luck to you, and you'll find a way to beat it that is best for you. You do sound like a really strong woman! Hang in there and beat the beast! I'm with ya, hella! I'm stopping cold turkey starting this saturday. Check back in here and tell me how you're doin...
Jess
"PS: Peachybum - What do you know about methadone? It is just as illegal as Oxycontin or Dilaudid. Do you think that some support group could ever help overcome the withdrawls of long term opiate addiction?"
These two statements are a bit harsh wouldn't you say? This person was only trying to help and offer some advice. And yes, support groups absolutely can help. We are all here for the same reason, addiction is what it is, opiate or not. So offer support and guidance, not criticism!
Jerrycia... Sure, it is a great drug when you're using it as prescribed to come off of something else, but when you're using it to get high, completely different story. I am also a methadone addict. I use it to get high, at about 150 mg per day. I have tried to wean slowly, without much luck. The withdrawal is terrible and can last longer than most opiates. I am going to try the cold turkey approach...call me crazy, but I think breaking up with all of my old "friends" and dealers and just fuggin doin it is what's gonna work for me.
Anyway, I just wanted to say good luck to you, and you'll find a way to beat it that is best for you. You do sound like a really strong woman! Hang in there and beat the beast! I'm with ya, hella! I'm stopping cold turkey starting this saturday. Check back in here and tell me how you're doin...
Jess
:'( I was addicted to IV drug use of heroin-then went to the methadone clinic.I have been there 2 months- and gone from 80mg to 70- and I have 4 months left.Is this possible to go from *0 mg to zero in such a short time? I've never detoxed methadone- everyone acts like I'm going to die! I am in PIECES over this.Since I have been on it a short time, will this make it easier- what can I do to help myself? Any advice out there? The mean methadone clinic won't give me maintenance.My friend told me to lie and say I had been doing this for less than a year so I don't have to go to so many meetings. I had no IDEA the would give me a 180 detox! HELP! deperate in OHIO.
I was on methadone for three years at 100 mg a day. I decided to detox myself by slowly lowering my dose till I was at 20mg per day,this took about a month. then I went to 20 evrey other day,remember methadone is long acting, if I felt a little rough on the day I didn't dose,I went for long walks,it helped. I eventualy went to 15 evey other day after 3 weeks then 10 every other day for 3 weeks then I went to the doctor and got oxycodone 10mg took that instead of methadone,I needed 3 aday then after a week I went to 2 a day then a week later one per day, then swithed to hydrocodone 7.5 1 per day for a week then 1 every other day for 3 days then stopped everything. Walked alot,it helps the leg syndrome some people get at night. Now I'm free from opiates,it took a while but at some point I think the secret is to stop the methadone and switch to a lesser strength opiate that doesn't stay in your system like methadone does. I've seen people get to a certain point on methadone and can't go lower than 5 mg a day. SUBSTITUTE when you get that low. you'll kick it.
Ronnie-
STop taking that stuff NOW!!! trust me!! YOu are digging yourself into a much deeper hole than neither YOU nor ANYONE else will be able to get you out of! I recently quit methadone cold turkey and went through 3.5 weeks of HARDCORE withdrawls....I didn't sleep for a single night for 3.5 weeks. It was literally hell on earth. I was only on methadone for a month so i didn't think it would be that bad. Well I was way wrong. My fiance is in medical school here in pittsburgh and we recently had a baby. He was so busy with school and my withdrawls became so bad that i had to confess and tell him what was going on. He scolded me like never before but got me through it. He gave me the tough love. My withdrawls got so bad that i couldnt even take care of my baby anymore and ended up in the er 3 different times till finally my fiance said "no more." He told me i had to toughen up for our daughters sake. ANd that although the withdrawls are THE WORST THING, they will NOT kill me. Trust me honey, i know it's awful. ANd i've quit oxycontin, percocet cold turkey no problem. u have to force yourself to function during these symptoms. I would sometimes just lay there and watch the minutes go by. My God. for 3.5 weeks!!! i hated the night because that's when ur alone. and even though we have cable, hbo, ondemand, etc. none of it mattered. cuz you can't think about anything else except that your cold,, then hot, your skin is crawling and screaming, your hearts pounding, you can't sit still, yet your so tired and exhausted but you feel like your on crack and your stomaches in knots and your throwing up...ugh...it's awful and not worth it....quit now..i beg of you....good luck...lemme know if u need help or someone to talk to........
STop taking that stuff NOW!!! trust me!! YOu are digging yourself into a much deeper hole than neither YOU nor ANYONE else will be able to get you out of! I recently quit methadone cold turkey and went through 3.5 weeks of HARDCORE withdrawls....I didn't sleep for a single night for 3.5 weeks. It was literally hell on earth. I was only on methadone for a month so i didn't think it would be that bad. Well I was way wrong. My fiance is in medical school here in pittsburgh and we recently had a baby. He was so busy with school and my withdrawls became so bad that i had to confess and tell him what was going on. He scolded me like never before but got me through it. He gave me the tough love. My withdrawls got so bad that i couldnt even take care of my baby anymore and ended up in the er 3 different times till finally my fiance said "no more." He told me i had to toughen up for our daughters sake. ANd that although the withdrawls are THE WORST THING, they will NOT kill me. Trust me honey, i know it's awful. ANd i've quit oxycontin, percocet cold turkey no problem. u have to force yourself to function during these symptoms. I would sometimes just lay there and watch the minutes go by. My God. for 3.5 weeks!!! i hated the night because that's when ur alone. and even though we have cable, hbo, ondemand, etc. none of it mattered. cuz you can't think about anything else except that your cold,, then hot, your skin is crawling and screaming, your hearts pounding, you can't sit still, yet your so tired and exhausted but you feel like your on crack and your stomaches in knots and your throwing up...ugh...it's awful and not worth it....quit now..i beg of you....good luck...lemme know if u need help or someone to talk to........
I have read most of the posts here and they are so helpful to me. I am 48 and been reliant on Percs and Oxycontin for a couple years. Obviously we all get to a point were we take the pills not to get high, but to feel normal. But you don't feel normal because you are an adict, and all you want is not to be. I am down from two 40mg Oxy to 1 perc, so I can sleep, and I hope I can be clean in another few days. What a mess this stuff is.
You need to wein down slowly. You are a strong woman - then you can do it.
Go on the internet and read about how to wein down. You need to drop down 5 millegrams a week until you are up to 5 millegrams and then 2.5... then nothing.
Good luck - I know you will be okay.
TT
Go on the internet and read about how to wein down. You need to drop down 5 millegrams a week until you are up to 5 millegrams and then 2.5... then nothing.
Good luck - I know you will be okay.
TT
it wont be easy but go to the doc and get some subutex, most docs with a series 2 license can despense this med for detox. that was the purpose, so that a general practice could assist people who wanted to get off , whatever......... it wont be much fun, hot , cold, no sleep, etc....stay warm, stay home, alone, pray, and after a week or two you wll begin to feel better, course a few loritabs or percacet or ambien, might help but then again its best just to do the subuted and be done with it,,,,wish you luck, go get it, and get started, you will end up clean and better off........thanks
In 2004 I was in an accident at my place of work, a country club in Georgia. A 1500 pound John Deere greens mower flipped over on top of me, breaking my wrist and three ribs, cracking my pelvis, and doing a still unknown amount of damage to my back (I am uninsured and never received a CT Scan).
I was subsequently fired and denied workman's comp because I failed a drug screen with marijuana, the only drug I had ever done up until this point. Even though it had been more than a week since I smoked, the THC still showed up in the pee pee so I was left with a script for 40 lortabs and no job.
After my prescription for lortabs ran out, I called the doctor's office to see about a refill, as I was still in pain. They told me to get screwed, that I had had enough. So, I hit the street looking for something to kill the pain. I ended up getting a "30 day supply" of these little white tablets that resembled aspirin.
Boy howdy did these things work! One a day was all it took, and the pain was an afterthought. After the supply ran out a month later, I thought I would just go back to my normal life. Boy was I wrong.
The little white pills I had purchased turned out to be METHADONE. After three days with no dose, I started going through withdrawals. My armpits poured sweat, I could not sleep at night, my legs ached as if the bones themselves were being ground to bits and I thought I was going crazy. I experimented with all sorts of drugs during my college years, but I had never had a "Jones" like this. Pure Hell. I pity all you guys who are trying to come down off a dose larger than mine, which is only a measly 10mg per day.
After 4 years of being a virtual slave to this substance, I finally decided to seek help. I went to my local Methadone clinic. They were not much help at all. First they wanted to UP MY DOSE from 10mg/day to 40mg/day, then ween me back off. I said "Hell no." Then they suggested that I come in for 10 straight weeks every day and dose up, the first week 10mg, the second week 9mg, the third week 8mg, and so on and so forth, which I thought made much more sense.
The problem is, I could purchase a set of digital scales and do this myself (although illegally) at home with the stuff I get off the street and come out way cheaper than going through them. I would be paying the same amount of money for a 10mg dose my first week as I would a 1mg dose the tenth week. They want $77.00 a week for 10 weeks, which amounts to $770.00 US total. By doing the same thing at home I would spend around $200.00 total.
I also plan on doing some sort of support group as well. I was just wanting to hear some of you fellas opinions on what I am planning to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks and good luck to you all! Stay strong!
I was subsequently fired and denied workman's comp because I failed a drug screen with marijuana, the only drug I had ever done up until this point. Even though it had been more than a week since I smoked, the THC still showed up in the pee pee so I was left with a script for 40 lortabs and no job.
After my prescription for lortabs ran out, I called the doctor's office to see about a refill, as I was still in pain. They told me to get screwed, that I had had enough. So, I hit the street looking for something to kill the pain. I ended up getting a "30 day supply" of these little white tablets that resembled aspirin.
Boy howdy did these things work! One a day was all it took, and the pain was an afterthought. After the supply ran out a month later, I thought I would just go back to my normal life. Boy was I wrong.
The little white pills I had purchased turned out to be METHADONE. After three days with no dose, I started going through withdrawals. My armpits poured sweat, I could not sleep at night, my legs ached as if the bones themselves were being ground to bits and I thought I was going crazy. I experimented with all sorts of drugs during my college years, but I had never had a "Jones" like this. Pure Hell. I pity all you guys who are trying to come down off a dose larger than mine, which is only a measly 10mg per day.
After 4 years of being a virtual slave to this substance, I finally decided to seek help. I went to my local Methadone clinic. They were not much help at all. First they wanted to UP MY DOSE from 10mg/day to 40mg/day, then ween me back off. I said "Hell no." Then they suggested that I come in for 10 straight weeks every day and dose up, the first week 10mg, the second week 9mg, the third week 8mg, and so on and so forth, which I thought made much more sense.
The problem is, I could purchase a set of digital scales and do this myself (although illegally) at home with the stuff I get off the street and come out way cheaper than going through them. I would be paying the same amount of money for a 10mg dose my first week as I would a 1mg dose the tenth week. They want $77.00 a week for 10 weeks, which amounts to $770.00 US total. By doing the same thing at home I would spend around $200.00 total.
I also plan on doing some sort of support group as well. I was just wanting to hear some of you fellas opinions on what I am planning to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks and good luck to you all! Stay strong!
I FEEL FOR EVERYBODY HOOKED ON SOME KIND OF OPIATE, THEY ARE SO ADDICTING IT IS DISGUSTING. I BEEN ON EVERYTHING OXYCONTIN, FENTANYL, VICODIN, ULTRAM, AVINZA, AND FINALLY METHADONE FOR ABOUT FOUR YEARS NOW. I NEED TO TAKE THEM FOR PAIN FOR MY HIP WHICH I HAVE A RARE DISEASE WHERE BONE MARROW GROWS OUT OF MY BONE IN TURN GROWING INTO ALL OF MY NERVES AND TENDONS, CAUSING PAIN THAT IS UNBEARABLE AT TIMES. I HAVE BEEN TO THE BEST CHIROPRACTIC PHYSCIANS, NEUERO-SURGEONS,BONE MARROW SURGEONS, AND YOU GET ALL THE SAME BS FROM EACH AND EVERYONE OF THEM YOUR TOO YOUNG, UNLESS YOUR CONDITION IS BLACK AND WHITE THEY WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. SO HERE I AM FOUR YEARS LATER WITH THE SAME PAIN AND ALL THE HELP I RECIEVE IS A PRESCRIPTION FOR A 100 10MG METHADONE A MONTH I HAVEN'T EVER ABUSED THE PILL EVER, THIS sh*t WILL RUIN YOU, IT WILL PREVENT YOU FROM EVER GETTING A LIGIT JOB, I JUST GO TURNED DOWN FOR A JOB BECAUSE I HAD TO TAKE A PHYSICAL FOR THE MDOT WHICH IS THE MICHIGAN DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION,WHICH METHADONE AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIES YOU FOR DRIVING ANY TYPE OF COMMERCIAL VEHICLE SO I JUST LOST ABOUT JOB MAKING $55,000/YEAR NOT BAD FOR ONLY BEING 25 ESPECIALLY IN MI WHERE JOBS ARE SO HARD TO COME BY. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET A GOOD JOB BECAUSE EVERY ESTABLISH CORPORATION DRUG TEST AND I AM SURE YOU HAVE ALL GONE THROUGH THE SAME STUFF IT SUCKS WORST THING I SPENT $40,000 ON COLLEGE MONEY WELL SPENT IF I COULD ACTUEALLY USE IT, THE THING IS METHADONE DOES GIVE YOU GREAT RESULTS IF YOUR USING IT FOR CHRONIC PAIN IN WHICH I DO , I GO TO A VERY LIBERAL DOCTOR WHO IS VERY WEARY OF PRESCRIBING ME THIS HE SAID WHY NOT VICODIN, VICODIN WILL TEAR YOU LIVER APART YOU WILL HAVE THE WORST SIDE EFFECTS BECAUSE OF ALL THE ACETMITOPHEN IN IT, WITH METHADONE THEIR IS NO FILLER I LIVE A COMPLETELY NORMAL LIFE, RARELY ANY SIDE EFFECTS BESIDES RUNNY EYES, WHICH I FOUND OUT FROM THE EYE DOCTOR IS YOUR EYES ARE SO DRY YOUR TEAR DUCTS OVER WATER THEM SO NOW YOU ALL KNOW WHY THAT IS. FOR THE FIRST TIME I RAN OUT OF METHADONE BECAUSE MY DOCTOR LIKES FOR IT TO LAST MORE THAN 30 DAYS USUALLY 33-35 DAYS SOUNDS STUPID BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET TAKEN OFF THIS MEDICATION BECAUSE IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT WORKS. WELL ANYWAYS I RAN OUT ON FRIDAY IT IS NOW SUNDAY AND I FEEL LIKE I AM HONESTLY WOULD DO HEROIN IF SOMEONE ONE GET IT FOR ME, THE WORST STOMACH ACHE I HAVE HAD ABOUT 6 HOURS OF SLEEP IN THE PAST THREE DAYS I WENT FROM TAKING 30 MG A DAY TO ZERO THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE, LUCKILY I HAVE SOME VICODIN FROM THREE YEARS AGO THAT AT LEAST TAKE THE EDGE OFF THE WORST PART OF WITHDRAWALS IS THE INSOMNIA IT IS HORRIBLE AND I AM AFRAID TO TELL MY PARENTS WHAT I AM DOING BECAUSE I DON;T WANT TO SCARE THEM BUT I SERIOSLY FEEL LIKE GOING TO THE ER, THAT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE TRYING TO QUIT COLD TURKEY MY ADVICE TO ANYONE DON'T DO IT THIS STUFF IS GARBAGE GO TO A LIGIT DETOX CENTER AND DO IT SAFELY SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I CAN'T SLEEP AND I AM JUST BAMBLING. BEST OF LUCK TO EVERYBODY THAT ENCOUNTERS THIS DRUG YOUR IN FOR A LONG RIDE.
TAKE CARE EVERYONE,
BRIAN FROM MICHIGAN.
TAKE CARE EVERYONE,
BRIAN FROM MICHIGAN.
my friend just started taking Methodone he got 20 pills on Friday night and took 10 of them by Sunday. How addictive is this stuff he is going to become addicted? How will I know? Someone please fill me in on this drug I am clueless
It started for me when I was 17 yrs old. I wanted to try weed. That was the catalyst that triggered my addiction to drugs. The next step 4 me was valium and alcohol. I liked the way valium made me feel "nice". Then, when I was about 21, I had my appendix removed. Before surgery I was given morphine to relax me. I absolutely loved the euphoria that this gave me.
But my downfall was when my friends started injecting nubain. In my mind their was no way I was using a needle. They literally chased me around the room trying to stick me w/ a needle. Of course, I gave in. The worst decision of my life. The fear I had of needles were gone. I used nubain for a few yrs, and spent a ton of money doing it.
Then, one day, dilaudid appeared. I had no idea what dilaudid was. Didn't stop me from crushing it up and injecting it. Oh, the rush!!!! Made me feel wonderful. Reminded me of the time I was given morphine b4 surgery.
Believe it or not, I stopped everything and started lifting weights when I was about 30 yrs old. I was clean for the first time, and feeling awesome. Until.. I heard of oxycontin. I remind you my fear of a needle was gone because of nubain.
I got my hands on a 40mg oxycontin, crushed it up, and stuck it in my arm. WHOA!!! There was that "rush" again. I absolutely loved that feeling.
2 yrs, and lord knows how much money later, I stopped oxycontin when I heard of methadone. To me, it was less expensive, and stopped the cravings of the oxy's.
I had a few friends who were on methadone. Of course the saying "Birds of a feather, flock together" is absolutely true. But, I accept total responsibility of my actions. I was aware of the withdrawal symptoms and how hard it was to get off methadone, but I figured " I can do it".
I got up to about 80mg of methadone about 4 times a week. I did this for about 1 1/2 yrs. I tried to quit cold turkey and felt like I wanted to die. I knew a guy who did hang himself trying to quit cold turkey. So, I started again. This time I rarely went over 40mg. I did this every other day for about a yr.
Then came Hurricane Katrina. Needless to say, being from New Orleans, I lost everything, including my dope connections. I was forced to quit. I had all the symptoms; no sleep, no appetite, sneezing, jumpy legs, etc.
I quit for about 3 months and felt pretty good after a while.
My journey wasn't over.
I got in touch w/ my old friends and my methadone addiction flared up again. I thought this time I could control it (like I really could).
I lost my father a few months after the storm, and used that excuse to start using more frequently. I used methadone again everyday for the next 2 yrs. I lost one connection, and gained another one. I had to drive an hour to "score".
Well, down hear in The Big Easy, now, methadone is very hard to get. Not to mention how tired I am of chasing my next fix.
As of 6 days ago, I stopped again. Now this time I gradually diminished the dose I was taking. I am totally feeling the same ole' withdrawal symptoms everyone else has experienced. I like to sleep, and the lack of sleep is the worst for me. No appetite (nausea) is a close 2nd. No energy is terrible too. My back is killing me. They all suck!!!!
When I was using methadone, I thought it was a wonder drug. It gave me motivation to do things, it gave me an appetite, not to mention it gave me sexual endurance. But.... I am sick and tired of being dependent on drugs.
One blaring point that I haven't heard mention is the money that my drug career has cost me. I estimate up to $100,000, and I'm not joking.
Plus, I've done this illegal all this time. I am fortunate to never get caught. It started for me at 17. Now, I'm almost 39. That's 22 yrs of misery. I urge anyone w/ a similar story to write a your story. It is therapeutic. It lets everyone know that you are not alone.
I hope I finally have the strength to fight this battle to the end. The hardest thing for me is to have to fight the everyday battles. To go somewhere w/out having to have to do some kind of dope to have fun.
I wish everyone w/ a similar story success, and BE STRONG!!!
But my downfall was when my friends started injecting nubain. In my mind their was no way I was using a needle. They literally chased me around the room trying to stick me w/ a needle. Of course, I gave in. The worst decision of my life. The fear I had of needles were gone. I used nubain for a few yrs, and spent a ton of money doing it.
Then, one day, dilaudid appeared. I had no idea what dilaudid was. Didn't stop me from crushing it up and injecting it. Oh, the rush!!!! Made me feel wonderful. Reminded me of the time I was given morphine b4 surgery.
Believe it or not, I stopped everything and started lifting weights when I was about 30 yrs old. I was clean for the first time, and feeling awesome. Until.. I heard of oxycontin. I remind you my fear of a needle was gone because of nubain.
I got my hands on a 40mg oxycontin, crushed it up, and stuck it in my arm. WHOA!!! There was that "rush" again. I absolutely loved that feeling.
2 yrs, and lord knows how much money later, I stopped oxycontin when I heard of methadone. To me, it was less expensive, and stopped the cravings of the oxy's.
I had a few friends who were on methadone. Of course the saying "Birds of a feather, flock together" is absolutely true. But, I accept total responsibility of my actions. I was aware of the withdrawal symptoms and how hard it was to get off methadone, but I figured " I can do it".
I got up to about 80mg of methadone about 4 times a week. I did this for about 1 1/2 yrs. I tried to quit cold turkey and felt like I wanted to die. I knew a guy who did hang himself trying to quit cold turkey. So, I started again. This time I rarely went over 40mg. I did this every other day for about a yr.
Then came Hurricane Katrina. Needless to say, being from New Orleans, I lost everything, including my dope connections. I was forced to quit. I had all the symptoms; no sleep, no appetite, sneezing, jumpy legs, etc.
I quit for about 3 months and felt pretty good after a while.
My journey wasn't over.
I got in touch w/ my old friends and my methadone addiction flared up again. I thought this time I could control it (like I really could).
I lost my father a few months after the storm, and used that excuse to start using more frequently. I used methadone again everyday for the next 2 yrs. I lost one connection, and gained another one. I had to drive an hour to "score".
Well, down hear in The Big Easy, now, methadone is very hard to get. Not to mention how tired I am of chasing my next fix.
As of 6 days ago, I stopped again. Now this time I gradually diminished the dose I was taking. I am totally feeling the same ole' withdrawal symptoms everyone else has experienced. I like to sleep, and the lack of sleep is the worst for me. No appetite (nausea) is a close 2nd. No energy is terrible too. My back is killing me. They all suck!!!!
When I was using methadone, I thought it was a wonder drug. It gave me motivation to do things, it gave me an appetite, not to mention it gave me sexual endurance. But.... I am sick and tired of being dependent on drugs.
One blaring point that I haven't heard mention is the money that my drug career has cost me. I estimate up to $100,000, and I'm not joking.
Plus, I've done this illegal all this time. I am fortunate to never get caught. It started for me at 17. Now, I'm almost 39. That's 22 yrs of misery. I urge anyone w/ a similar story to write a your story. It is therapeutic. It lets everyone know that you are not alone.
I hope I finally have the strength to fight this battle to the end. The hardest thing for me is to have to fight the everyday battles. To go somewhere w/out having to have to do some kind of dope to have fun.
I wish everyone w/ a similar story success, and BE STRONG!!!
Man this is encouraging. I have been on M for over 5 years now and have finally decided it is time to get off to it. At the time I got on M I was at my wits end in life and ready to do myself in. My life had gotten so bad right after I lost my wife of 15 years. Basically I caught her cheating on me by finding out she was meeting people over the internet while I was at work and going out and have sex with them. After my divorce I really had lost hope as I had put everything into my marriage and providing a stable home for our daughter to grow up in. We had planed everything in life and were high school sweet hearts. We had planned out our marriage, buying a home, to even having a child. I was so blind however as I did not suspect a thing until I started getting $600 phone bills. After my divorce I was devastated and ended up finding relief in opiates. Now I wish I would have never done that. At the time though I had lost my job, my wife, my home, my car, contact with my child, basically everything that really meant anything to me in life. Shortly after my mother passed away as well. Just seemed like everything was out of control & I basically gave up. I then became hopelessly addicted to dope to numb the emotional pain, which I might add worked really well at the time, however toward the end I was really ready to end it all. Then I found M. It saved my life as I was days from putting a gun to my head. Today after being on M for over 5 years I have regained everything except I am still not dating as I am just not ready to open myself back up for that. I am sure that will happen one day but for now I am working on my relationship with my daughter and putting my life back in working order. Over the past 5 years I have managed to land a great job, a house, a new car, and everything that comes along with it. I can actually say I am relatively happy with life again. If you would have told me five years ago I would be where I am today I would have told you were mad. I look back and am in total amazement of where I was, where I went, how bad it got, and now where I am today. To me it is no less than a miracle. So today I am now at the point that I feel I am ready to get off the M. I currently pick up my doses once a week and I was at 120mg a day. I wanted to get off faster then the clinic wanted to allow so I am doing it myself. I have now gotten myself down from 120mg a day to 25mg a day. Did this in 3 weeks and to tell you the truth I feel great. However, I understand it’s the last little bit that will hurt and sure enough I proved it to myself last week as I tried to drop from 25mg down to 15mg. Ouch! Three days at 15mg and I could not handle it any longer. Sleepless nights of twisting and turning. Sweet attacks every 15 to 30 min. It was a nightmare. So to say the least I am back up to 25mg for the remainder of the week. Think going forward I will have to take it a little slower. Maybe about 5mg a week decrease. Really want to be off by the end of the month. Today’s the 11th so I think I can do it. But even if I am not and it takes a little longer it will be ok as it took five years to get where I was at so I don't think two and a half months getting off is so bad. Pray to god I can make it. Just want to go back to how I was before all this c**p started.