Okay so I mostly feel like it's my fault. I have a low sex drive, and sometimes I just don't want to have sex. & I can understand my bf masterbating if he is turned on & I don't want to have sex. But he masterbates probably 3-4 times a week. & ALWAYS has to watch porn while masterbating which is what bothers me most. Sometimes it's 2 times a day, 3 days a week. There's been multiple times I've gotten in the shower & when I got out I caught him. & he does it a lot while I'm still sleeping in the mornings or at night before I come to bed. He says it's how he likes to start & end his day. But it bothers me how sneaky he is & how he will not come to me first to try to have sex. I'm almost scared to leave him alone in a room because I feel like he will masterbate. It really bothers me because I feel like I'm. It good enough, plus he knows how I feel about it but doesn't stop at all! I've tried talking to him but nothing changes, what do I do ?
;What's up! Well, it is normal for guys to masturbate A LOT when they felt orgasm. In ur case, what i can see is that he is sex-deprived since u rarely make out with him. One thing for sure, excessive masturbating is not good for health especially the penis. Here are my suggestions that may help u to solve this problem(hopefully):-
1)Try to make him busy/occupy doing things. This may sound tiring but trust me, it will make him forget to masturbate.
2)Have time with him not necessarily having sex. Doing what a couple always do besides sex since u mentioned ''I just don't want to have sex''. Me n my gf always go for lunch or dinner together or walking on the park.
3)Make sure he's not alone/by himself. This can trigger his feeling to masturbate. The loner he is the higher the chance for him to masturbate. Do something fun
4)Try to make out with him like 2 or 3 times a week. U'll gonna make him happy. To be honest with u, whenever my gf left me alone i tend to masturbate but i remind my self that i won't do that.
Well, i hope this comment can help you!
I'm not sure 3-4 times a week is excessive. You do seem to have a slight mis-match of sexual drive. I've masturbated occasionally even though I've been in a relationship. I think in my case it was because I thought (rightly or wrongly) that I would be a nuisance to my partner and she would disapprove. Now I look back, it would have been nice if our relationship had been more intimate and honest, so that I could have gone up to her and had her help me with masturbating rather than me being secretive. I used to feel guilty about masturbating so I never could approach my partner for help.
Have you thought that you might be able to "help" him with his masturbation without yourself taking part in sex yourself (assuming you weren't in the mood)? This would need honest non-judgmental communication which I never had in my relationship.
What if your relationship was such that he could say to you "bb, I feel turned on, can u help me". You could help masturbate him, or hold on to the base of his penis while you gently push his testicles back towards his anus to speed up his orgasm. Two or three hands on the shaft of his penis would feel great, not to mention a finger in or around his anus. Or quickly move your panties aside and wiggle on his lap for a few minutes. I guess you don't need to come if you're not in the mood - and it goes without saying you don't need to have sex if you are not in the mood - but it is an option.
Another possibility is for you both to masturbate and play with sex toys in front of each other. Visually it could be a turn-on for you both.
I don't have an answer for the constant need for porn, other than u might be happy to be somewhat of a substitute (and I don't mean to be disrespectful to you). Men are visual creatures. It's often said that men want a lady in the lounge room and a prostitute in the bedroom.
One thing is for sure, constant criticism and vigilance on your part will have no effect on his desire for orgasm and only harm your relationship.
How much is "too much" masturbation is hard to say - but I think it just sounds like your boy friend has a healthy sex drive and enjoys the act of self-pleasuring (as well as partner sex). Here's something you can try: if you're not in the mood for intercourse, try to make yourself a part of his masturbatory experience. Suggest that you want to help him keep his penis good and healthy; purchase a good penis vitamin cream (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) and tell him you'd like to rub this onto his penis every night to keep his penis in good shape. (Choose a cream with a wide range of nutrients for better health: L-arginine to help with blood flow, vitamin C for tissue firmness - and vitamin A, which helps fight penile odor, which many women find unpleasant.) This may turn into a masturbation session with you involved, or it may just demonstrate to him that you take an interest in his health and find his penis attractive and worth paying attention to - and that may have dividends for you in the long run.
How old is he?
Yep,when you boyfriend stay alone it is vvery easy to have masturbation. The more he stay alone the easier he for him have chance to do that. However if you guys walking together or hiking etc instead of let him alone that will help him a lot.