Well where do I even start? Been with my boyfriend 3 years. Before I met him I was seeing a guy who I knew from when I was at little school, he lived around the corner from me. Anyway I started to really like him ect got that lust feeling and he began to stray away. So he decided it was ok to ignore me instead of breaking things off with me to my face. Coward! We stopped talking then I met my current boyfriend now of 3 years, the first year we where together I found out the guy I was seeing before him they where cousins???! Anway things got c**p between us we argue everyday over silly things we break up then make up. He had spoken to 3 different girls behind my back seen two of them and denied it even though I had the evidence. It made me not trust him a lot. While he was giving attention to everyone but me, his cousin stated talking to me again and I did too, we was getting on so well. We was saying things like we had unfinished business so we agreed to meet up and just have a talk. No did that hell happen. We ended up kissing then ended up against the wall then into his room then boom! We had sex. Then I wanted more and more not even feeling guilty of what I'd done either, after all of that I really started to like him again I mean like to much! He was in my head all day (still is now) it was just crazy. Anyway he decided to start ignoring me again ;/ so he got what he wanted basically and then it was like oh I have been there with her now so that's that. I really like him he's never off my mind I wish he was the same. At the same time though I love my boyfriend but I don't think I'm in love with him ? I think it's what keeps us together like we only know by eachother and tbh I have nothing ATM my mum and dad are sick so things are c**p. I really need him there when push comes to shove it's just strange how I went from a really loyal person to some complete stranger to my boyfriend all i do is moan at him I kick off and so on I just don't know why???! Help.