My husband is always angry

I have a husband that never smiles, he never wants to leave the house because of his xbox. He is playing all day. He works 5 days a week, 12 hr shifts and then he has 3 days off. We have 1 car that he uses, I cant drive his car so I am at home day and night with our child. I cant leave the house except to go on a walk. When his 3 day break comes, he doesnt want to leave. He plays xbox and if I ask him about anything he rips of his headset and yells WHAT?!?!?! I take care of the house, cook, clean, wash laundry, clean up his mess, service him like a maid, change our childs diaper, feed her, put her to bed. But if I dare disturb while he's playing,  he flips. If I make him mad, he yells, he chokes me, he twists my arm. I am all alone, I feel like I'm in a prison, I can never get out. I am going insane in this house, with him, with my life. I am so unhappy and miserable that I don't know what to do anymore. We have been married less than 2 years. We live thousands of miles away from family. I take his car at night when our child and he's asleep because he doesn't know I have the car and then I leave, sometimes it's just an hour, sometimes more, sometimes less. I have no one to talk to because his family said that he is perfect and my family is very old fashioned where the husband is the man of the house and you have to obey him. I have so much pain inside of me that I don't know how much more I can handle. At work he is this great guy, everyone likes him and respects him and then when he comes home, he is the complete opposite. I don't want him to come home. I don't want to come home when I live in the middle of the night. The only reason I am coming home at night is because of our child. I love my baby with all my heart and I could never be without my child. I am 22 years old. My heart is broken, my self esteem is non-existent. I wish that I could turn time back. I carry an incredible amount of pain inside of me and he knows it, I can't do anything right, I am worthless. 

HI R U STILL WITH YOUR HUSBAND

hi how r u

boatfishing wrote:

guest wrote:

I have a husband that never smiles, he never wants to leave the house because of his xbox. He is playing all day. He works 5 days a week, 12 hr shifts and then he has 3 days off. We have 1 car that he uses, I cant drive his car so I am at home day and night with our child. I cant leave the house except to go on a walk. When his 3 day break comes, he doesnt want to leave. He plays xbox and if I ask him about anything he rips of his headset and yells WHAT?!?!?! I take care of the house, cook, clean, wash laundry, clean up his mess, service him like a maid, change our childs diaper, feed her, put her to bed. But if I dare disturb while he's playing,  he flips. If I make him mad, he yells, he chokes me, he twists my arm. I am all alone, I feel like I'm in a prison, I can never get out. I am going insane in this house, with him, with my life. I am so unhappy and miserable that I don't know what to do anymore. We have been married less than 2 years. We live thousands of miles away from family. I take his car at night when our child and he's asleep because he doesn't know I have the car and then I leave, sometimes it's just an hour, sometimes more, sometimes less. I have no one to talk to because his family said that he is perfect and my family is very old fashioned where the husband is the man of the house and you have to obey him. I have so much pain inside of me that I don't know how much more I can handle. At work he is this great guy, everyone likes him and respects him and then when he comes home, he is the complete opposite. I don't want him to come home. I don't want to come home when I live in the middle of the night. The only reason I am coming home at night is because of our child. I love my baby with all my heart and I could never be without my child. I am 22 years old. My heart is broken, my self esteem is non-existent. I wish that I could turn time back. I carry an incredible amount of pain inside of me and he knows it, I can't do anything right, I am worthless. 

hi how r u

r u still with your husband

Girl you need to leave if hes abusing your dogs then you honey could be next.and he almost injured u while preggers with his kid he doesnt deserve a kid. You will get custody just get a 1 dollar notebook from target and document each act of absue. i have read a ton of these and am glad to say my hubby get upset n has his days, but so far yours is the only one i feel compelled to tell you to get yourself happy and healthy and leave him behind. being preggers isnt easy but to have a healthy baby you need to be emotionally healthy. i cry reading ur post. Do what you gotta do and get out of that abusive environment. please! call steve wilko if u need.

I have been married for 6yrs now and when my husband is sober he is great, he is the kindest loving person, but when he drinks any kind of alcohol even beer dr. jekyl comes out and in full force. He has pushed me down and yanked me around a bit over the yrs. The worst part is that im scared of him almost like if he was my dad. :'( He calls me names horrible names in front of his friends he doesnt care. his rage is awful once he gets going theres no telling what he is capable of he breaks tables mirrors walls whatever gets in his way, Ive tried to be strong for so long but im truley tired, not just fed up i mean tired physically. He tries to stop drinking but its like he just doesnt care enough about life mine or his own. Everyone says leave him but i love him so much i cant imagine not having him in my life but i cant imagine being 50 and still dealing with this.

i basically have the same problems, he claims to love me but when he gets angry i can see hate in his eyes so now how do i believe if he loves me? sometimes after i talk to him he accepts being wrong and wanting to change but if i do not tell him what he is doing wrong he not even apologizes or realizes doing something wrong. he also gets angry when i tell him the wrong things he do - i do it for his own good. i want him to be a better person, have told him we need some counselling but he refuses to seek professional help. does anyone know of a way of making him want to change without going to a professional?

I know what you mean. Every thing makes my husband mad at me. No matter who or what up sets him he takes it out on me. He don't hit but his words hurt more than fist ever could. I can even ask a question when he is not mad and Im dumb for not knowing the answer. Some days I just want to choke him some days I wouldn't want to touch him or if he touches me I want to throw up. All the harsh words have got me to the point I don't want to live any more. We have six kids, 3 are his, 2 are mine, one is ours. The first five he doesn't talk to like he does me but he is starting to talk to our son Like he does me and I can see the light in my sons eyes going out of him. i don't know what to do.

I agree you need to leave and do it now before the baby comes so you have time to get things together for you before you have to be there for child. This will make you a better mother. I wish I had done this. But I have 3 step children who live with us and I love as much as my own children. I consider them all mine I usally never use the word step talking about my children. and if I left I would be leaving them behind. but now all except our son they are grown or at least 15 so they can come see me if I leave. I am at the end with him and about to leave as soon as my son is finished with football. two more weeks and I'm counting down.

My first husband hurt me in ways that I cannot talk about till' this day. My second husband is angry; yells and curses most of the time. He can be verbally abusive, not only with me, but our children. He has lost employment several times from company downsizing/ lay offs. This has hurt him I know, because it has hurt all of us. I believe in God and pray for my husband. When he hurts, I hurt. Sometimes I don't know what to say or how to approach him, but there has been something changing within me too... I think I am falling out of love with once upon a time great guy. He speaks but does not listen. He yells instead of learning to talk. If a man hurts, his words do not have to hurt others and if he hurts as badly as you say you have, then his words/hands should stay with his person instead of hitting, striking, or throwing. My husband has never hit me, and I am not afraid of him. But because of my ex and the way I was hurt, I will not allow this to go because of my children...

hi r u on here still

My husband is also always angry!  I have given him everything I have:  emotionally, physically and financially.  He has given me:  emotional abuse, has cost me my retirement savings and I have had to BAIL him out of jail! NEVER did I ever imagine having to bail a husband out of jail-twice!!   I am 54 yrs old and have NEVER been so lost!  I have a BA degree, have held professional positions, but have never felt like such a loser! How do I start over in an impoverished state-Maine??  I give and give-what a sucker I am!!!!!!

 

 

my husband is always grumpy and very contolling i cant go anywhere unless he is with me and he constantly moans about everything i cant take much more any advice please

I can offer very little advice since I too seem to walk on egg shells daily. I slept restless at night because I fear what the next day will bring. Once I do awaken it's with anxiety because again I don't know what I'm in store for. Why do we stay? I've asked myself this questions so many times and I can't find the answer. I feel for you because you seem to be in the same place as me.

I was one of the men you ladies speak of. I would never raise a hand to any woman, but I have spanked my children for being bad (one shot on the hiney - NOT HARD) and just that act alone makes my heart break. I was laid off and unemployed for almost 3 years. I lost my first house to a short sale and can trace many of my anger issues having escalated when my own mother died. I saw where I was heading, but IT TOOK MY WIFE TELLING ME TO GET HELP OR "WE WERE DONE" for me to change. I went to a counselor - not even a psychologist - and was able to receive the right amount of reinforcement for the validity of my life, even when it was really bad, and the right amount of sounding board and criticism to help me see what I needed to drop from my personality and my life in order to fix what was wrong with my other relationships. Your husbands need to fix themselves BEFORE the relationships can heal. There are no two ways about it. I thought for years that I could manage my own problems in my own head and I would be fine. I was not, however, shown the tools to cope with loss and financial discord. I thank God that my parents gave me a strong Christian foundation to build my life on. Now, I can talk to my wife about anything and I tell her and my kids that I love them every time we part company because you never know what you have until it's gone. I can only pray that what I have written helps someone who is experiencing these issues. I do not mean to sound preachy or over evangelical, but turning to Christ in times when I have been most troubled has helped me make the most important and successful decisions in my life. The strength I got from that foundation was what helped me walk into the counselor's office.

I feel for each one of you and hope that your partner's eyes open up.