I'm going to try and keep my posts in this one thread. There's been some great, supportive, kind members here that convinced me to join.
My story... loved opiates since the first time I took a couple of Tylenol 4s at around 20 years old. (I'll be 34 in May) When I finally found a steady connection around 10 years ago, I knew it was trouble, but like most of you, never honestly pictured myself becoming an addict.
Fast forward 10 years, I've been trying to quit since I first realized I was addicted in 2007. The longest I've made it sober is 20 days, and that was about 4 or 5 months ago. If I'm going for a buzz, I like to take about 100mg of oxycodone per dose, up to 200+mg in a day. Since I don't have the supply or money to binge like that daily, I'm usually taking between 60-100mg per day to not be sick. I've been fortunate to be "functioning" so far, as I've kept my job and earned a masters degree during my addiction...but it's all on thin ice and I'm in debt with some bills.
Kratom and loperamide help get me through the times when I'm out of pills, which is usually 2-3 weeks out of the month. It's been a tiring cycle, the pills I get only last me about a week and a half. I've been ready to get clean for a long time, but I haven't succeeded yet.
My withdrawals aren't horrible. I get the runs, restless legs & insomnia, anxiety, armpit sweats like water fountains, chills, yawns, sneezes, but most of those are controlled somewhat with kratom and/or lope. I always get exhausted from lack of sleep and give in when my connect refills.
So now I'm going to try and quit while my connect still has some left. Friday I should be taking the last of what I have on me, that will get me through the workday and into the weekend. I'm hoping to find a way to get kratom before Monday, as my state decided kratom was like bath salts and banned them last year.
So that's where I'm at now. Just here for support, advice, inspiration, anything that can help me break this foolish cycle!
~Crisp
Going as planned so far. In the midst of day 1 and feeling plenty crappy..but doable.