Okay so this is going to be a long story. This started back when I was in high school when I was dating this guy named Brandon; I spent a lot of time with him and fell in love with him (sophomore year of high school). My father had never really liked Brandon and he actually threatened to kill him in front of my entire family, but Brandon and I kept dating. At the very end of my junior year, I moved to southern Alabama from Tennessee, changing schools and everything, so I didn't get to see him anymore. A couple months after we had moved, I noticed that he wasn't calling me anymore, he wasn't saying I love you anymore, none of that. Now keep in mind, I had put EVERTYTHING I had into him and our relationship, needless to say mine and my dad's has completely deteriorated during and after this time. So, long story short, I had to end up going on MySpace and finding out he was dating another girl ,and by the time I had found out, he had bought her a car and they were living together. Words could not even begin to explain how upset I was, and how much I just wanted to pay him back for the hurt that he had caused me. So, after I found out about that, I went crazy. I dated sooooo many guys, I slept with soooooo many guys and I didn't care. I have gotten (and have been) to the point where I can look someone that I care about a lot straight in the face and tell them I love them and not feel anything. I know what it feels like and for whatever reason I just can't feel it anymore. After that whole thing, I doubt I can remember the names of the guys that I've slept with and been with, because I seriously don't remember. It's almost been like a complete blackout since 2005! Long time, but that's the last time I can genuinely remember feeling anything.
After I graduated high school in May of 2007, I joined the military, thinking that maybe I could do something with my life to keep my mind off of what had happened to me in the past and try to move forward. Well, I've definitely gotten a different direction in life, but still no feelings. The odd thing is, it's not just me. There was a guy back in basic named Duell, and this guy could have probably been the one for me, but he can't feel anything either, and can't seem to get his feelings back, when I knew he had them in BMT...the look in his eyes was different than anything I had ever seen, and he genuinely seemed to care, but now that he can't feel either, I can't find out where that could have gone.
Now I'm dating this guy (it's complicated) and have been for about five months now, been in and out of mental health on base since I got here in August...me and this guy are good friends, but again I still can't feel anything, and I have to lie to him. I hate lying to him because I really do care about him, at least I think I do.
Can someone help me? I want my feelings back!
After I graduated high school in May of 2007, I joined the military, thinking that maybe I could do something with my life to keep my mind off of what had happened to me in the past and try to move forward. Well, I've definitely gotten a different direction in life, but still no feelings. The odd thing is, it's not just me. There was a guy back in basic named Duell, and this guy could have probably been the one for me, but he can't feel anything either, and can't seem to get his feelings back, when I knew he had them in BMT...the look in his eyes was different than anything I had ever seen, and he genuinely seemed to care, but now that he can't feel either, I can't find out where that could have gone.
Now I'm dating this guy (it's complicated) and have been for about five months now, been in and out of mental health on base since I got here in August...me and this guy are good friends, but again I still can't feel anything, and I have to lie to him. I hate lying to him because I really do care about him, at least I think I do.
Can someone help me? I want my feelings back!
what your feeling (or rather not feeling) is called attachment issues or disassociative issues. These are dut to abandonment / rejection issues you experienced in the past. While Brandon may have been the worst he was not likely the first. I have helped alot of people with these issues using hypnotherapy. I suggest you talk to a good hypnotist / therapist.