My partner of several years recently confessed (after telling me for years that i was the same size as most, and after my pressurizing her to be honest) that I had the smallest penis of any of her partners and said she easily had vaginal orgasms with all of them from the outset, yet only recently and very rarely has had them with me. She also said she longed for them during intercourse with me and has described vaginal orgasms as her favorite part of sex. She says that I have subsequently developed an issue about my penis size as it is not important to her, yet when i asked her if she could swap me like for like but with a large penis, she said she would, while also admitting that she enjoyed the act of penetrative sex much more with large penises. She said I should seek therapy. Should I, or is what she described not simply a matter of fact, rather than my psychological problem? (I am 5.5 inches with reasonable girth, and have never had an issue despite having had many sexual partners previous—though perhaps they too were simply not expressing their views)
Hi Hytholday,
For starters, 5.5 is average for an adult male.
As to your parner, you asked for this information, got it, and don't like what she's telling you. She's being bluntly honest, maybe too blunt. Regardless, you need to accept it and forget about it. If you can't then seek counseling. You possibly have a body dysmorphic disorder problem.
Reverse the roles and imagine if she asked you "like for like" if you could have a woman with bigger breasts, would you? How would you answer it?
Good luck. Hope it helps.
Her breasts can't get much bigger, medic-dan, and I have absolutely nothing i would change about her. But you are right, I did ask for the info. Just have trouble processing the fact that longterm, she will be with someone that inspires a longing she has never had to feel and gives her less pleasure during intercourse than any other partner previously. The insecurity i guess is more to do with the knowledge that she is having to compromise an aspect of sexual enjoyment that is very important to her to be with me, and whether longterm this will have a detrimental effect on our relationship. Thanks for your reply!
The breast statement was to put YOU in HER shoes, so to speak.
Despite her comments, being in a stable and committed relationship should help her enjoy intercourse more. Also, the nerves on the vagina are near the OUTER edges. You are MORE than adequate to fulfill that role. Perhaps it is a psychological issue with HER as well.
You BOTH might want to talk to the counselor.
Good luck.
I'm sorry to step in here but I am absolutely horrified by your gf's lack of respect for your feelings, yes you asked for the truth but come on really? If she really loved you as you have been in a relationship for a couple of years then she would know how much that would hurt you emotionally and that would/could jeopardize your relationship.
You needing counselling? No, she needs it. Dan is absolutely right. You are the average size of ALL males and if she is not happy with your size and needs bigger but is happy with you (not your appendage) then she needs the counselling to get over that, as another male will probably have the same size as you if not a little smaller. It's also how you think emotionally and prepare yourself mentally (as a woman) if you will be ready and happy with your partner - do you a lot of foreplay? That being besides the fact she has issues that she needs to deal with and you need to think if you are happy to be with a partner that is not completely happy with the complete picture of YOU as a whole.
Just thought you needed a female thought on this matter and one of an older, mature age. Hope this helps as much as Dan has as he has given you sound advice as well!
She's cooling off you. Aroused by a different click. If you weren't enough, then how did these circumstances arise, where you're writing on some forum after some time with her?
Umm, I personally wouldn’t stand for that, a man’s penis size is a very sensitive topic and shouldn’t be taken as lightly to us, it’s as telling a woman “your ugly” they take that very seriously like men to their size. By all means I’m unsure how well you are in bed, but 5.5 is more than enough to pleasure a women, just have to get the right moves down. Although seriously I would let her know to respect your feeling even if it is what it is. Good luck King. Keep your head high, you are above average and that’s more than enough for a lot of women out there.