I did,
i was also told that I should forgive my cousin and our old neighbor.
I cant forgive them, its just too hard.
I cant bring myself to say its ok what you did, I'm not angry anymore.
Im angry because the night the neighbor did what he did, the night that it happened and all was the night my dad was supposed to come.
I was dressed up, wearing my best dress that my grandmother had made for me, I stayed up waiting for him to come,
My mom had to work so she took us over so we could stay the night at their house since she went to work at four a.m.
That night I could have been somewhere else.
I blame him,
and I still hate him, the neighbor, and I hate myself because I wonder 'what if I didnt get nice and expect him'
what would have happened then?
i was also told that I should forgive my cousin and our old neighbor.
I cant forgive them, its just too hard.
I cant bring myself to say its ok what you did, I'm not angry anymore.
Im angry because the night the neighbor did what he did, the night that it happened and all was the night my dad was supposed to come.
I was dressed up, wearing my best dress that my grandmother had made for me, I stayed up waiting for him to come,
My mom had to work so she took us over so we could stay the night at their house since she went to work at four a.m.
That night I could have been somewhere else.
I blame him,
and I still hate him, the neighbor, and I hate myself because I wonder 'what if I didnt get nice and expect him'
what would have happened then?
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Forgiveness is not for the other person. It is only for you. It only means that you are willing to give up the unproductive anger and hatred that you have so you can move on with your life. It does not mean that you forget, nor does it mean that what they did was right.
You cannot blame yourself either. What happened if a million different things were different? Sometimes people who fight back get hurt or killed. There's a lot of reasons to be upset at yourself and others, but eventually you have to move past it. I forget, have you been to therapy about any of this?
You cannot blame yourself either. What happened if a million different things were different? Sometimes people who fight back get hurt or killed. There's a lot of reasons to be upset at yourself and others, but eventually you have to move past it. I forget, have you been to therapy about any of this?
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I have but i dnot feel any better talking about stuff with others
i cant go to my next appointment either
since i dont have health insurance this month
i cant go to my next appointment either
since i dont have health insurance this month
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I'm sorry to hear that. There are free mental health services out there, however, if you look into it. Also, mental health services only work as well as you're willing to let them work. you have to move past what happened and be a forgiving person--otherwise things will be hard. Were you aware of that?
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we looked for one
but we cant find one where i am
forgiving people is hard
how do I do that
do I just say
I forgive you?
but we cant find one where i am
forgiving people is hard
how do I do that
do I just say
I forgive you?
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What is it with my life?
Why is it that everything good and sweet that I have
ends so screwed up?
Why cant I have a decent life?
Do I have a sign on me that says come here
if you want to harass someone?
Why cant everyone just leave me alone?
Your telling me to forgive them?
Then I might as well forgive the as****e
who said he wanted to f**k me
while hugging me and shifting his hand downward
I might as well have let it go instead of bringing attention to it
forget getting better
If this is what Im looking forward to
instead of a normal life where I can put it behind me then there
isnt a reason for any of this
Im so tired
just so sick of all of this
If Im just a toy then is there really a reason for me not to destroy myself in
self loathing?
Because I cant stand the fact that when I take a step forward
there is someone to send me twenty steps back
three times now
another form with my name on it
that says I was a victim
DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS FEELS?
I just hate this so much
I want it to end
Why is it that everything good and sweet that I have
ends so screwed up?
Why cant I have a decent life?
Do I have a sign on me that says come here
if you want to harass someone?
Why cant everyone just leave me alone?
Your telling me to forgive them?
Then I might as well forgive the as****e
who said he wanted to f**k me
while hugging me and shifting his hand downward
I might as well have let it go instead of bringing attention to it
forget getting better
If this is what Im looking forward to
instead of a normal life where I can put it behind me then there
isnt a reason for any of this
Im so tired
just so sick of all of this
If Im just a toy then is there really a reason for me not to destroy myself in
self loathing?
Because I cant stand the fact that when I take a step forward
there is someone to send me twenty steps back
three times now
another form with my name on it
that says I was a victim
DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS FEELS?
I just hate this so much
I want it to end
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You know, I have been there. I may not have told you this before but I understand what you've been through more than you'll ever understand. At some point in your life, you have to realize that you're not really living your life if you're upset over what happened in the past. You have to put it behind you. That's what forgiveness is. That doesn't mean that you like the person or that you even have a relationship after you forgive them. ALl it means is that you are no longer mad at them. Because that anger eats you alive. Does that help you understand better?
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I am sorry for what you are going through. I myself have been molested by a close cousin when I was 5.
There is no one that really knows about it. No one wants to believe it. I barely remember because
I was in shock. I can barely face him. I don't talk to him, yet see him all the time. I eventually forgave him
because he is the one with problems. I believe these things happen to test our strength.
This might also happen so we as survivors can help others. What happened is not your fault.
And there is really nothing you can about the past. Do you want be cutting yourself ALL YOUR LIFE??
When you do this- Those guys are CONTROLLING YOU. Show that you are better than that.
God Bless.
There is no one that really knows about it. No one wants to believe it. I barely remember because
I was in shock. I can barely face him. I don't talk to him, yet see him all the time. I eventually forgave him
because he is the one with problems. I believe these things happen to test our strength.
This might also happen so we as survivors can help others. What happened is not your fault.
And there is really nothing you can about the past. Do you want be cutting yourself ALL YOUR LIFE??
When you do this- Those guys are CONTROLLING YOU. Show that you are better than that.
God Bless.
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Those things have affects on us that can last a long time. I was raped by a Sheriff in Newaygo County 25 years ago at a dance when he started playing with my breasts. He told me he liked my breasts and started talking about the size of them and how large they are and how nice they are.
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