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So, I just about read as many experiences as I could online. Only, not everybody's story is the same because we're all different right? Anyway, since I was young, I was always chasing girls. I like to think that I always loved vagina since I knew what it was and it never changed! I started watching porn in middle school and as my growth progressed, I started to discover what I liked and what I didn't like. Then all of a sudden, I would get curious and want to venture into gay porn. It started in middle school and it makes sense I guess because when we're young, we all try to find ourselves but the thing was, I wasn't attracted to guys outside of the videos. I would see a video, get aroused, and masterbate with it sometimes but there was no feeling or attraction to guys at all. Personally, I like getting blowjobs. If you're guy, who doesn't like getting blow jobs. Was it seeing a penis inside another guy's mouth that aroused me? Made me think by watching it, the good feeling that it to get oral sex? I was told that you don't just become gay, like you're born into having an interest in the same sex. Not me though. The whole idea idea of anal and kissing another guy is disgusting. Don't have to think twice about it! So with all this in mind, what am I dealing with here? I'm as straight as can be, randomly look at gay porn, but I'm bi curious at all what so ever. If I could get some back up, I would appreciate it. Thanks!

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Quick edit on that last part because apparently I can't go back edit. I'm NOT bi curious at all what so ever.

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I'm glad that I read your post. I've been really upset and confused after finding gay porn on my fiance's computer. I found some emails from a long time ago between him and another guy trying to get him to come over and give him a blow job. He was wasted, and I'm pretty sure nothing ever came of it. He just said he "was curious". I don't know what to think. Is he gay? Is he straight? We have no problems in the bedroom, and he's very masculine. I just don't understand.
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I know lots of gay guys who don't like anal sex. HOW you have sex doesn't really matter much as far as what you're attracted to. I was wrestling in my house with a presumably straight friend when I was 18 or 19. He had me pinned and was sitting on top of me. We were both laughing, but then he started staring at me. It made me uncomfortable at first, but I guess we both had the same feeling come over us at the same time. Then he started kissing me. I was shocked and resisted for a while, and then he started trying to French kiss me, which was really repulsive to me. I resisted even harder, but after a while I got tired and just sort of gave up and let go. The weird thing about it was that after I let go, I started liking it. I suppose a lot of things that you're afraid of are like that, but it really opened a door for me.

I was conflicted and ashamed about what I wanted for many years... until I finally gave up and decided that I was more attracted to men than women. However, that's my story. It doesn't need to be yours. But the one thing I believe as surely as I believe that the sun will rise in the morning is that you can't control what and how you feel. You can adjust your behavior and moderate how you act on how you feel, but you can't change WHAT you feel. My analogy is that trying to control feelings is like trying to squeeze sand or putty in your hands. The tighter you squeeze, the more of it will slip between your fingers.

So, my advice is this, my friend… Be whoever and whatever you are. If you want to have sex with a guy, even if it's only to find out what it's like, then do it. If it turns out that you love it, then so be it. If not, well, then you've solved your problem and answered your question. In any event, you will be true to yourself and to who and what you are. And no matter what it is, you will respect yourself for it, and so will everyone else. And it sure as hell beats a life of misery and shame from hiding what you want.

The only people who will care are the crazy homophobes who lie to themselves and are terrified that they might catch "the gay", so they repress their own feelings and everyone else in order to stomp it out, like it was a disease or something. And then there are the equally crazy religious fundamentalists, of almost every religious persuasion, who are equally afraid, but in a different way.
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They are not afraid they will catch the gay, they are afraid they are gay themselves, or are afraid of the fantacies they have about gays. Either way it's their problem. Some of the worst homophobes ARE gay.
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i don't post much on forums, but i saw this thread and figured i'd share some thoughts on this. hopefully i can help out some potentially sexually confused dudes out there

so. i'm confidently straight and emotionally/physically into girls, but i often watch porn/get thoughts involving penis in some way, whether it's just penises cumming a lot, giving head, handjobs or even curiosity about bottoming.
oddly enough, any thoughts of kissing, rubbing on or doing anything with another dude's ass remains inherently undesirable to me. in fact, if i'm watching a video see anything like that, i have to skip it or look away. this may seem ridiculous, but after doing research on and off for a few years, i think that what's happening is learned-attraction to penis...not men, but just penis. i believe it's due to premature, escalated porn usage.
i know it sounds odd, but as dudes, we will almost always relate any phallic pleasure presented right back to ourselves. since we have a penis and know what it feels like, it's very easy to do. over time, you might get tired of certain types/intensities of porn, and the thought of watching something out of your realm is thrilling because it feels wrong or disgusting. giving into this urge fuels our imagination and makes us want to explore it further.
this can lead to difficulty getting it up with real partners due to warped views of sex OR because much a like a drug, your sexual tolerance is built up and adjusted to a certain habit, not to mention the sensitivity lost from the actual act of jerking off - using your own hand and your own movements to get off, don't exactly translate over to the gentle feelings and motions of a vagina/anus. over time, it can throw your brain and body off, leaving you feeling confused and unfulfilled with real partners. (sounds grim, but with moderation or breaks of abstinence, even the most damaged people can recover any physical or mental symptoms from jerking off to porn).
i remember being able to get off by just looking at a girl's profile pic when i was in middleschool and early highschool, then it began to escalate slowly. sooner or later i noticed that i needed to see girls in increasingly erotic and hardcore scenarios to get myself going, then came watching shemale porn out of curiosity and eventually some gay stuff too.
nowadays, i watch a pretty consistent amount of all 3 types depending on what kind of mood i'm in.

the more i run into these eerily homogeneous sexuality posts,the more i think that there's some sort of penis-fetish developing among straight men in the last decade or so...i'm fairly certain it's because of the high speed porn we've got now... you can look up literally anything. overstimulating and desensitizing our brains is becoming way too easy to do.
through porn, we can actually train ourselves to start liking and seeking increasingly 'shocking' content or things that just aren't indicative of our sexual orientation whatsoever; the younger you start watching, the more susceptible you are.

this is a new area in terms of mental health and is still being heavily researched. YourBrainOnPorn is a good site that talks about it from a factual and scientific perspective. i urge you to spend at least 15-30 minutes on that site and read what's going on in your mind when you watch excessive porn.
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for those who are worried or confused:
if most of your worries center around actually BEING gay/penis curiosity, then honestly, you're probably NOT gay; you're potentially homophobic, but not gay. it very likely stems from (escalating) porn you've watched as well as the seemingly unnatural thoughts it may have led you towards. (look up HOCD)
from what i've gathered, gay people are very EMOTIONALLY attracted to other men, not just physically. more often than not, a gay person is likely to be at terms with the fact that they're gay...at least to themselves. their fears are of the social repercussions due to their sexuality, not the actual thought of being homosexual - maybe they don't have an understanding family, maybe they're afraid of judgments from their peers. their worries lie in how they're going to come out and what the possible ramifications will be, not of the actual question about their sexual identity. if THIS is you central place of worry, then yeah it's possible that you might be gay or bisexual.
there was a period of time where i had a bit of an identity crisis with this type of thing, and what solidified my identity as straight to myself, was the realization that i don't think being gay is shameful in any way and i know that everyone in my life views it the same way. i realized that even if i were to "come out" at any given time, the reaction wouldn't be judgmental and no one would care. that's when it dawned on me that my issue was with myself - what i thought my identity was vs. what i was into porn-wise. these two things clashed together and caused confusion and shame (i noticed that every time i got close to cumming, i would never want to finish to anything on the gay side, i would feel gross and honestly kinda depressed and disconnected after. if i came while watching straight stuff, i'd feel totally fine and the sessions wouldn't last as long.)
i truly think for a significant portion of us, sexual identity issues come from or get harder to decipher with excessive porn usage. (especially if you're around age 15-35 at the time of this post).

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