Hey guys, I've read over a lot of your posts and I must say that I was very relieved when reading some of these. There are so many people going through the same things I go through. I used pills (mostly Percocet) for a couple years. That addiction graduated and I tried heroin. It was more affordable then pills, but it was quite different. The entire time I did it, I felt disgusting. I kept picturing the kid who went to church and a Christian college when I was younger. I could not believe what my life looked like at the time of doing heroin.
I did not want to continue my life the way it was going. I read several different websites about kicking heroin cold turkey, etc. One in particular helped me a lot. It gave directions on what meds to buy in order to kick the habit cold turkey. Things like immodium AD (for the sh**s), velerian root for the restlessness, dayquil and nyquil, etc. I bought all these items with the thought of quitting in mind. My buddy and I were going to take the vacation days and do it.
Took the days off, and they came and went, and I was still doing heroin after the days off. Luckily, my ex girlfriend came over to spend some time with me, and she caught me doing the heroin. She was mad and upset at first, but once she realized how deep I was and what steps I had taken to get clean, she helped me. She took the days off, and she helped me get through the withdrawals and detox with her by my side supporting me the whole way.
I have to say that having someone support your quest to get sober and be there by your side changes everything. You no longer don't have the self discipline to stop and start detoxing. She was my self discipline for that weekend! She fed me, kept the meds coming when I needed them and she massaged me when my body ached. She even forced me to get out and go for walks and enjoy some sun. As hard as it was, it was the only way I could have done this. I could not have done it without her and I know that now.
I had suboxone ready to go for when I quit, and when I told her I had it... She said no, let's do this the right way. No drug to get off a drug. This all took place on the week of April 29th 2014. It is now May 22nd 2014 and I feel great! It has been 23 long but amazing days! Sure they have not been easy, I've had my doubts, my lack of energy and my depression all set in.. But there is also this overwhelming feeling that I have my life back! I know that the pills and the heroin no longer control me. I promise you that this is the best feeling you can have during the process. It gives you hope when you have no hope anywhere else.
I have no desire to go back to any kind of Narcotic. I have taken suboxone once or twice on my week days.. But the key is not to abuse it or use it daily as if you need it. Because you don't. It is ok to struggle sometimes. Never get too high or too low emotionally. You will be ok. The best thing you could possibly do is get support. I know that it sounds like the hardest and most embarrassing thing you could do.. But think about it, if someone you loved dearly told you this dark secret, wouldn't you bend over backwards to make sure they are ok?
The feeling alone of telling someone and lifting that weight off your shoulders is so good that you will want more support eventually. I am no expert, I'm just speaking from my experiences. I know that some of you are much further along in the process, but I feel as though I have a good grip on everything. Today I was feeling down and searching for something in my mind to satisfy my. I decided to read these posts to see what other people are struggling with and it gave me strength.
I forced myself to call my support system, and I was talked out of all the negative feelings that I had. I have been tanning and working out on a regular basis now and the endorphins that are produced from these two activities is overwhelmingly good!
I challenge all of you to keep that mental strength by giving yourself support. Tell someone, lift the weight off of your single set of shoulders. People are in your life for a reason. Use them. You never know when it will come back around and you will be their support in a similar or completely different situation.
Thank you all for reading my short story that felt so good for me to write. I promise you that just talking about your problem is half the battle, if not more!