Well, after a few days that weren't so bad, today has been a bad day. I have just felt frustrated, angry, and depressed. It seems like everytime I venture out of the house (like I did last night) the next day is a really bad day. Today is Day 30. I just expected to be doing so much better at this point.
To make it all more fun, our hot water heater seems not to be working well. So much for hot soaks after a BM!
I think my mental state would be more positive if I could work or so something with myself. I do keep trying to remind myself that by 6 weeks it should be better!
I can understand how you must be feeling. We have had very similiar experiences in our recoveries. And we both have found that weeks after the operation, when we think we are finally there, we have a really bad day again. It is probably just a coincidence that it happens for you after you have been out of the house though. But it is really bad timing that your hot water heater is not working well, when you really need it.
You are right about the mental state too. I have found that working does help me, by providing a distraction from how I am feeling at times. Many days it is still a struggle to get to work, but it is probably better for me to be there than be at home, where I would be focusing more on how I am feeling. But your work does require you to be there 100% and you have done the right thing in staying home for now.
I am at 5 weeks and 5 dayspost-op today. Things are much, much better, but still not quite where I would have expected. I long for the day when I don't have to think about my bottom at all! The pain is not severe any more, but its still there at times, and a constant reminder of how bad things were a few weeks ago, and you are right, that is depressing. I can do all my chores around the house, go to work, and function pretty well now, but I do have an uncomfortable feeling down there for a big part of the day, on many days. There hasn't been one day yet when I haven't needed a painkiller of some kind, although it is usually only a couple of paracetemol, but I look forward to not needing to take tablets anymore, and not needing to take my hot water bottle with me wherever I go. I see my surgeon next Wednesday, which will be the first time since the operation.
Chatting with you and the others on this site has been a godsend for me, as otherwise I would have thought I was a freak in how difficult my recovery has been. It has really helped to know that I am not alone, although I am really sorry that you have found it so difficult as well. The fact that many of the people who have previously posted here seem to have left now, shows that they must be better, and moved on, so we will too.
I will hang in there with you until we are both fully recovered even though it feels like we are doing a marathon together!
Congratulations on making 5 weeks and 5 days!!!!! With this surgery, every day is a milestone!!!! I am glad you will be seeing your surgeon soon. I hope he has good news for you and that you continue to progress in your healing. I totally hear you about longing for the day when you don't need any pain meds anymore or a hot water bottle or the soaks after a BM!
Some good news - My husband was able to fix the hot water heater issue. It needed a new valve, and he was able to get that working by last night - just in time, too, because I had a BM soon after! Shew! I had water heating on the stove just in case. It's amazing how you begin to appreciate the little things we usually take for granted.
I think some of my pain/discomfort is due to the swelling that is still in the surgery area. I still have a good size lump/swelling. It has gotten better this week after I started using Epsom salts, but it is still rather significant. I think that has a good bit to do with the lingering pain and trouble sitting for long. I am still having bleeding with BM's and some in between. Not terrible, but that tells me that I am still healing - probably internally more than anything. I wonder if when the bleeding stops will be a sign that I am healed up. Are you still having some bleeding? I don't have as much of the discharge/mucus, but I do have some minor "waste leakage" (may be the nice way to say it) for a little bit after a BM. I have to go back in the bathroom 1 or 2 times in the hour after to clean up, otherwise it irritates that area. I hope that goes away eventually!!!! I read somewhere that the drainage is from the normal mucus that is produced in the rectum and that it "leaks" out along the surgery site/scar tissue as it is healing. Again, I hope that when the bleeding is done and everything is healed upt, the leaking will stop.
The mornings are still the worse for me. I am down to 2-3 BM's a day, which is a wonder!!! The BM's at night are not pleasant, but they don't seem as bad, but the morning still is pretty rough. It takes me until at least noon to feel halfway decent (some days it never gets better). But the spasming is not nearly as bad as it was a week ago. It is sometimes hard to judge progress when it still hurts, but I am trying to think back objectively and really try to measure improvement realistically instead of from a fear base. I think most of the pain I have now is some spasms and also a lot of aching. I try to sit or walk around after a BM but that never goes well; it just makes it more intense. So I wind up having to lay down. But overall, things are getting better. I also have tried to just make up my mind to not even worry about work until the 6 week mark and then revisit it, unless I improve dramatically before then. I was planning to be off 4-6 weeks, so I am trying to remind myself that I'm still in that window.
I think you are right in that people who were posting and are no longer posting are probably doing better and back to living normal lives. That is a big inspiration, as strange as it may sound. I think that the others that I interacted with seemed to stop posting around the 6 week mark, so I'm hopeful that 6 weeks will be the "magic" marker.
I am able to do some things around the house - dishes, laundry, helping with meals, making my own breakfast and lunch, cleaning the bathrooms. I've changed the bed sheets. I'm still avoiding anything with heavy lifting or squatting, of course. But I try to do what I can. My poor husband is getting worn out with running all the errands, grocery shopping, running our son to and fro. He usually does a good bit of the chores/work anyway, but I know it's hard when you are the one having to do most of it. It just wears you out. I miss going out to dinner and going to see movies and doing other things. He and I usually spend Saturdays together as a "date day" along with running errands. Today is absolutely beautiful out and would have been a wonderful day for going out! I am hoping that when I am all healed up, my butt will feel better than before with the hems and I will be glad I had this done. I'm not there yet, but I am hoping!
I will also hang in here for you until we are both recovered, and I appreciate your commitment. I hope that you receive many kindnesses in return.
Hi guys!!! I just caught up on all the posts. I'm sorry for being so MIA lately. We went on a spur-of-the-moment weekend getaway to Vegas and now I'm down south visiting family. It's so nice to feel almost back to normal again. Yup, "almost"... meaning I'm not quite there yet. My surgery was April 24th so in 8 more days it'll be 2 months. Reading both of your posts (Breezie's and Aussie's) have brought back some memory of all that I went through as they are so similar!! Breezie, I'm so sorry for your bad days. It was like that for me too. I'd feel so encouraged when I'd have my good days and I'd talk about how great it was and this and that and then the next day it would be the complete opposite and I'm like, "WHAT is going on??" UGH. I totally know how you guys feel. I promise though, that it WILL get better and you will see big improvement after 6 weeks. Remember when I kept talking about the 6-week mark and how that was all I was focusing on because that was what the dr said (that I'd feel good enough to get back to my normal routine)? He couldn't have been more accurate. I did however have a concern that I was still having a little bleeding after bms and also having a hard time having bms without the help of stool softeners and laxatives. I emailed him with my concerns and he replied saying it is absolutely normal to still have bleeding as long as it isn't a lot. He also said that my bms will continue to be painful but will gradually be less painful. He added that for some people it can take several months before their bms are completely back to normal (no bleeding, no pain). He was right, after 6 weeks for me I was comfortable enough to do all the things I would normally do. I was able to go out of town and not worry so much. My doctor stressed the importance of having a lot of fiber in my daily diet so whatever I was doing in the last couple of weeks, well, I needed to kick it up a notch so now I'm taking in double the amount of fiber and have seen improvement in my bms. They still hurt but I feel so much better afterwards. My bms are usually in the mornings and the amount each time is pretty good and they look healthy as well (sorry if that is too descriptive lol). I'll have discomfort down there for about an hour to two hours and after that I'm okay. Sometimes after several hours I'll wash just because I feel unfresh as I AM still healing and I feel like there's discharge but just a teeeeeny bit. There is still a little swelling down but the tags have gone aways completely (for a while now actually). I'm thinking after several more weeks I'll be completely back to normal.
I'm always thinking about you ladies even though I haven't been on. I felt so bad when I read both your posts and saw that you guys are still experiencing discomfort at times. Everything I've read so far from you guys seem to sound pretty normal as far as healing goes. Breezie, you poor thing, I hope you start to get more and more good days and less and less bad days. In about a couple of weeks you will be feeling pretty good, is how I feel. That's so cool that your supervisor is nice and understanding of your condition and suggested you stay home and rest as it is crazy at the workplace now. Aussie, it sounds like you are almost back to normal, which is great! I totally know what you mean by still having the discomfort after bms and having to use your hot water bottle. I've been using my donut pillow (I know some people don't use it and it's not recommended for extended use) but for now it still helps me. I think that we all find something that works for us while we're healing and although it may be slightly different from one another I think that as long as they provide us relief and help speed the process of recovery it's great.
I hope that you ladies have more days of less pain soon. If it makes anyone feel better about their pain I'll tell you (I have not mentioned this AT ALL since I've been on this forum) that I've been and still am in intense pain even while I was healing from my hemorrhoidectomy, from braces. I didn't want to talk about it because our discussions have been about our hemorrhoid surgery, but I got braces put the week before my surgery and let me tell you...I felt like death was better. Not only did I have pain from the surgery like you guys, but I had intense pain in my mouth every day and still am! So after knowing this maybe it can help you feel a little better? Hahaha I'm sorry if it doesn't lol :) Just thought I'd try and help lol and also share with you guys what I've been through too :) It's frustrating not being able to eat normal foods again now that I'm almost healed from my surgery. But hey, at least it's just pain from braces most days now and not both anymore! :)
How good to hear from you and catch up with your progress! It is reasurring to hear that you are 'almost' back to normal too. My surgery was May 7th, so I am just under 2 weeks behind you. OMG, who ever would have thought that so long after our operations we would still be recovering? I had no idea it would take this long. Something I haven't mentioned before is that I have had anal surgery several times previously (for both internal and external haemorrhoids in 2004 and 2009; and for a rectal-anal abscess in 2006) but it never took this long to heal before. I don't know if it is because I am getting older, or the nature of this surgery / number of haems (3 external this time) or a combination of all of these, but by 6 weeks after my previous haemorrhoidectomies, I'm sure I was much better than I am this time. But I will NEVER EVER have this surgery again, unless my life depends on it.
Oh PITA, you poor thing! Pain at both ends of your body for this whole time! What were you thinking doing both of these at the same time?? I do feel for you. At least my mouth is not sore as well. But great that you got to Vegas and are now visiting your family - sounds like life is getting back to normal for you.
I have had a bit of a 'set-back' day today. After 4 BMs this morning, I had a really uncomfortable, aching afternoon for about 4 hours. I thought I was over this! It was very depressing. It is interesting to hear that your BMs are still painful, PITA, and you are still using your donut pillow. I'm sorry you're not back to full normal yet, but its also helpful to know that Breezie and I are not alone. I'm not sure how long these frequent bowel movements will last? I take a glass of Metamucil every morning, and try to include a lot of fibre in my diet, but I don't take any laxatives, and most days I go to the bathroom at least 3 times, each time only about 45 minutes apart. And the more frequently I go, the more pain/discomfort I have afterwards. The actual BMS are not that painful (although not normal sensation either) but the discomfort starts about 15 minutes later. Not sure what the mechanism of this is, but I will ask my surgeon next week.
Breezie, re your question about the bleeding. Yes, I still have a small amount of bleeding with BMs, but not at other times, and no discharge really to speak of. I also don't have any obvious external swelling, as I think all my surgery was on the inside. Its interesting that they were 'externa'l haems but externally, everything looks normal. I think you are right, that as long as there is some bleeding, it must indicate that it is not healed yet, so there will be some associated pain. I re-read the information sheet my surgeon gave me pre-op and it says "Minor bleeding will occur until all the wounds heal completely - this may take up to 8 weeks". So perhaps we have a little way to go yet.
Well great hearing from both of you. Thanks for your continued support and sending you both healing thoughts for a good day!
PITA!!! How great to see you and to hear that you are doing better!!! Yay for going to Vegas and going to see family!!!! It is so encouraging to hear from you and know that things do eventually get better. I'm sorry you are having pain from the braces as well. I think it is absolutely okay to share that you are having different kinds of pain - I can't imagine having pain in my mouth as well as my butt!!! Mouths are pretty tender too, and also pain just drains you so much no matter where it's at. The more pain, the more sources of pain, the worse it can be. I hope that you start to feel better in that area too.
I am grateful that my workplace is understanding. They are good folks overall. But I'm also covered by FMLA so they have to be "understanding" by federal law. The downside is that I am not getting paid, and we are worried about that. But I can't do much about it at this point. I had to have the surgery, and I can't go back until I am more healed and able to do the job. I have been beating myself up lately because I feel bad for putting stress on our family. That's just how I am. LOL I feel bad laying around in pain and not working or contributing much.
You are so right - everyone is different, and different things work for them, and we heal at different paces. It does help to be reminded that 6 weeks is a good milestone. I guess I just see posts about people going back to work sooner, and I wonder what is wrong with me! Then again, I did have all that diarrhea and that seemed to set me back.
About the braces, have they told you when that may start to feel better? I hope you get some relief soon. I also hope you have a great time on your trip! It is SO good to hear from you and know you are doing better.
I also have frequent BM's, usually 2-3 in the morning, close together. They are almost all "regular" in amount, so it's not like I am just going a litle bit and closing up. I sometimes go after lunch or late at night, but that varies. The pain in the mornings lasts until at least noon, if not later. It's enough that I can't sit or really walk around and do much. I try, but that only winds up making it worse. I don't know what to suggest to stop the frequency of the BM's. I've been trying to figure that out as well. I eat high fiber diet, take fiber, I use stool softeners only when I really really need to (like if I eat a less fiber meal), and they don't seem to make any real difference. I did eat some meat for the first time in over a month last night with dinner - We got Chinese and we ordered some dishes with meat for my son. I have been craving meat, so I had some. Well, I had a BM at 11 pm last night and then only one this morning - it was even later than usual. I am still in pain and it is noon already. I don't know what to do to improve any of this. I wish I could make some suggestions. I don't even know why you and I are having all of these BMs like this!!! I have never had this kind of experience in my life. It's so odd!
I didn't realize you had previous anal surgeries! After this one, I don't ever want to have another one again!!! I think if I ever get another hemmie I will become so depressed. I am going to try and do everything to avoid getting any more, but they do run in my family. I can't imagine having to go through 4 surgeries like this! Wow. Maybe it does make a difference if we are older. I am 40, which isn't "old," but maybe that makes a difference. Maybe your surgeon will have some answers for you.
I am so tired of hurting. It helps tremendously to have you and PITA to just be there for support. It makes all the difference to know I am not alone. I think of it weren't for this forum, I would have been calling my surgeon daily and really having "worst case scenario" fears which would only make me suffer. I know in some part of my head that I am only at 4 1/2 weeks, and it may take a little longer to feel better. I just worry because I thought I would be feeling so much better by now and at least starting to get ready to go back to work. The way I feel, it seems like that will be a long way away.
I hope today is a better day for you and that you feel better. I am also sending healing thoughts to you all!!!
I hope your recovery goes very well and that you have good pain relief. Keep us updated!
Hi MK (mudkow - hope MK is ok for an abbreviation).
From all that I have read, it is really important to eat as normal a diet as you can and not go without eating. Your body needs nutrients to heal. Also, if you don't have BMs that are soft, smooth, and formed, you may have problems with anal stenosis - or so I have read. You may want to look into this. For the first 2 weeks I ate mostly soft foods - applesauce, oatmeal, mashed potatoes, some whole grain breads, and also some fresh fruit. You could also eat canned fruit. I got terribly ill with a virus or something and had diarrhea 2x in the first week after surgery and then in week 2 for an entire 4-5 days that was just horrific. So I didn't start to add in "normal" foods until week 3. Even then, I eat a high fiber, whole grain, whole foods diet as much as possible. Bran cereal, oatmeal, fresh fruits (like apples, pears, kiwis, strawberries), cooked veggies. I only recently started eating salads at about 4 weeks. (I had meat for the first time last night.) One of my favorite foods for lunch is to take a multi-grain wrap, spread some pesto on it, then layer on some veggies like cherry tomatoes, black olives, chickpeas, and fresh spinach, bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes and it's a yummy vegan/vegetarian pizza. We also sometimes add a veggie burger crumbled up. Anyway, the idea is to eat healthy foods that will help keep your BM's soft and smooth and also give you nutrients. I have read elsewhere on this board to avoid meat for a little while as it can cause some discomfort with BM's but that may be individual.
You also may want to take a fiber supplement like Benefiber or Metamucil. Start small - maybe 1 tsp in the morning on Day one, then gradually increase to 2 doses and so on. Drink lots of water. I have found that my BMs have been soft, smooth, and pass easily with this diet. In fact, one of my problems is I go too often!!! The alternative is to get impacted or constipated, and you want to avoid this at all costs. It is better to make yourself eat some soft foods and fiber and go than to wind up with constipation or impaction.
In terms of getting things moving, before your cup of coffee, try drinking a cup/mug of warmed prune juice, then chase it with the coffee. My husband had surgery in November after a serious injury and couldn't "go" for 5 days because they had him on lots of pain meds and did not prescribe stool softeners or a laxative in the hospital, despite us asking for this. When we got home, stool softeners and Miralax didn't do anything, so his surgeon suggested the prune juice/coffee combo and it worked well for him. But if you're not eating, then there may not be anything there to come out!
I really do understand the lack of appetite. While I was really ill with the diarrhea (maybe a virus?) I had absolutely no appetite and didn't eat for 4 days. I don't even know where all the diarrhea came from!!! But try to make yourself eat something, even if it is a little bit. The more you go without eating, it could cause a vicious cycle in your system.
I also added probiotics. I was taking Culturelle before surgery, but I have added a broader spectrum probiotic since then. This can really help with digestive health.
I also have a job that requires me to be at 100%. I'm at Day 32 and nowhere near ready to go back to work. It's very different work from yours, but still a milestone I have to meet before I can go back. I think I would feel better if I could get back to work and be productive!
I hope some of this helps. If you find your appetite continues to not return, I would contact your doctor for suggestions. My concern for you is that you may not get all the nutrients you need and/or have problems because of not having BM's.