I come from a large family with a lot of traditions and parents who believe in large families. i am about to get married to the most amazing woman on earth whom i will be spending the res of my days with and she has a son from a previous relationship which i couldn't love more were he my own blood, and will never be able to call him anything other than my son for i love and care for him that much. The issue here is we will not be having any other children and giving my standing in family (it's complicated just look at it as next in line to the head), i know there will be some people who will be very angry. Personally i will stand by my decision and don't see why it should be an issue given that my brother is already a father, however i want to avoid causing a rift in my family and between my parents (mother will have my back but father wont) as well as other relatives. What i need help with is getting input on how to break the news with causing only minimal tension...my family has been divided enough as it is...
Is it that you just dont want them or you cant have them? If you dont want them then you'll have to tell them that it s yours and you wifes choice and thats that!!! It well be hard but bite the bullet and get it over with.I wish you both the best.
thanks for your input, and to answer your question it's not a case of not being able to have children.
Since this is obviously a point of contention in your family, I suggest you tell your family in such a way as to eliminate as much contention as possible. Try to be as validating as possible. When you tell them, do so in a comfortable environment. If you can, make sure that they're not already angry, upset, depressed, etc. When you speak to them, use I statements, such as "I think..." and "I feel...," even when they're being belligerent. Do what you can to keep your voice level. In the end, stand your ground. You're an adult and this is your decision to make. If they're still angry, there's not a whole lot you can do, but do let them know that you care for them, you're sorry it makes them feel this way, or anything else that you feel. I hope all works out for you!
Thank you very much for your input, i feel like you have come closest to what the real issue is and i also need to apologize as i do realize i didn't express what my real quandary was. I find myself in an impasse as to how should my point be given across causing little if not no rift between my family members ergo, making sure it is understood that this issue concerns me and my future bride solely. Standing my ground will not be a problem nor will expressing my decision be one, my main concern is tactfully approaching and presenting the matter at hand to a group of individuals with different views on the importance of maintaining traditions and customs over personal choices. thank you both very much your inputs thus far