Hi Jacob i too know what you mean and understand your pain, as i for a month or half a month anyway have had a swelling feeling in my throat which causes a little bit of discomfort but you may feel as if it is a difficulty breathing problem but it is in fact a swollen feeling in your throat which causes a little shortness of breath but it sounds like a bad viral infection you've got.But a solution is drink lots of fluid (specifically water),take lozenges (they may not get to the back end of your throat but will burn some swelling at the beginning line of where you'd usually swallow foods and substances commonly, i know this sounds like it makes no sense), eat more vitamins like fruit, vegetables and all sorts of other healthy foods, also if it does turn out to last longer if these solutions do not help then check up regularly with your doctor, GP etc. and get some specialist and helpful advice on what might help and some tips for you as it might seem like a mild case of Laryngitis to me but follow these home remedies that i found that may help:
Salt. A saltwater gargle helps heal infected and inflamed vocal cords and sore throats. Add 1/2 teaspoon salt to 1 cup warm water and gargle several times a day as needed. Be careful to use the correct amount of salt. Gargling with a solution as salty as the sea will only increase the irritation.
Vinegar. Viruses and bacteria dread an acidic environment, so why not make your mouth one big, albeit weak, acid bath? Gargling with vinegar, a weak acid, can help wipe out many infectious organisms. Pour equal amounts of vinegar and water into a cup, mix, and gargle two to four times a day. You can also gargle with straight vinegar, but some people find it too strong, especially at first.
Lemon. Some folk remedies require you to suck on a lemon to cure a sore throat. An impossible task, indeed! Spare yourself the face-contorting agony and try a lemon juice and salt gargle instead. Lemon is naturally acidic and helps stimulate saliva flow. The salt increases the lemon's acidity, which in turn helps kill many microorganisms prone to weak acids. To make this gargle, juice a whole lemon into a bowl and add a pinch of sea salt (or regular salt). Mix well. Add 1 teaspoon of the concentrated lemon/salt mixture to 1 cup warm water. Gargle three to four times a day as needed. Also try hot tea with lemon, or even lemon drops, to keep your throat moist.
Home Remedies From the Sink
Soap and water. Laryngitis can be caused by a viral infection and is easily spread by hand-to-hand contact or by touching contaminated surfaces. Avoiding such germs is one of the best ways to prevent laryngitis. If you or someone around you has a cold, be extra vigilant about washing your hands with warm water and soap. Clean common surfaces, such as the telephone and door handles, with vinegar and a clean cloth.
Water. Keep the throat moistened and stay hydrated by drinking your daily amount of water (eight 8-ounce glasses per day). Fruit juices also fit the bill, as do warm, noncaffeinated drinks, which may feel extra-soothing on sore throat tissues.
Home Remedies From the Spice Rack
Garlic. Should you have a strong stomach and no social events to attend, try what the Amish and Seventh Day Adventists suggest for treating sore throats and viral infections: Suck on a slice of garlic. Garlic, when sliced or crushed, releases the antimicrobial substance allicin. Allicin kills bacteria, including strep and some viruses. Slice a garlic clove down the middle and place half a clove on each side of the mouth. Pretend the cloves are lozenges and suck on them. Use as often as necessary, or as often as you can handle garlic breath.
Ginger. Fragrant, fresh ginger can help soothe inflamed mucous membranes of the larynx. Try sucking on candied ginger if available or drink a cup of ginger tea. To prepare the tea, cut a fresh 1- to 2-inch gingerroot into thin slices and place in 1 quart boiling water. Cover the pot and simmer on the lowest heat for 30 minutes. Let cool for 30 more minutes, strain, and drink 1/2 to 1 cup three to five times a day. Sweeten with honey if needed. Now i do hope this all helps and i feel your pain as i still have my case of a thick throat but it takes time to go away and any other tips you want please contact me via this site for more solutions,tips and advice. Thanks and hope you get better!