What Cyclothymia does to relationships

Cheynne I'm a wise Older women, Middle-aged  You sounded like me and I'm going to share w/ you something I wish someone would have done for me back in the day.  Never let someone you care for, no matter how much you think he cares for you back, if he is sick as you know he is it's best for you to dump him.  What happens if you continue this back and forth behavior is that you will become too emotionally caught up in his disability to the point you are not able to function in life effectively too.  It is in a women's nature to feel that they should stick around and act as caretakers oftentimes to our detriment.  Get a pet if theirs that need for love in the meantime,  Or seek someone who is more stable. You will only start creating your own "psychological/mental" illness if you continue.  Yes,you can gently but firmly let him go  but remember 2 sick people are better than one. Xperienced One

Xperienced One - i loved ur answer - can i b ur friend ?

 

I too am a wiser older woman and agree with Xperienced One that you should forget him before it destroys you too. I spent 23 miserable years with a man who had depression. Everything he did was blamed on his depression. I thought I was being faithful and supportive but I was just being a mug. The thing that worries me the most about you post is you say the counselor told him what to do and gave his own diagnosis. Counselors don't do that. They ask questions designed to allow the depressed person work out issues for themselves. My ex told me after one session that his therapist had agreed with him that I had caused all his problems. I ended up in therapy myself and when I mentioned this his therapy was stopped because he obviously was not using the opportunity properly. It's 4 months since your post so I hope things have improved. If not please remember that it is no life looking after a depressed person who has no intention of helping themselves. You will likley split up one day regardless so get out before you waste any of your life.

hi,ive been myself in a relation with a women who has cyclothymia,it was same that about each month she dump me again and again sometimes for stupid reasons...what i can tell you is run , run away the far as you can because it will break you at some point that you'll finish like me going to seek help at the psy...i don't mean that i don't love this girl i love her more than i ever loved in my life...i have 2 kids from an earlier weeding and they are living with me...each time that we broke up they suffer too...and they dont deserve this...to be clear ... I finished yealling at her all the pain she leaves each time and at this moment i realized that something went wrong with me too now...all those words she usses to tell me where harsh very very harsh like i destroyed her life that i'm not the one for her etc:...i think you know them to. On our last break up nearby two month ago i decided not to come back even if i still love her...for my own mental health... I don't know if there are some people who lived a complete life with someone who has cyclothymia but i all i can say is that those people are very couragious.

You clearly know nothing on mental health... we are not leppers with Cyclothymia

I just broke up with a boyfriend who has cyclothymia after one year. I agree with everything the above said. We didn't know he had it for the whole year - he had good reasons - missing home, not feeling like he had enough friends here, feeling inspired and then not, etc. It all made sense. But when he cycled through a few times I knew there was something wrong. everything he said to me in his hypomanic state (dreams of our future), he would soon default on in his depressive state. He would spend countless hours working on his many projects. I thought this was creative inspiration at its best - and it was - he was beautiful, his mind was gorgeous. But then it went from that to hating all his projects and giving them all up. Everything he said was a contradiction. I would try to make sense of it and put it all on myself - thinking that if I just gave him some space or just would put less pressure - then maybe he would come to some great conclusions. He didn't - it only got worse and I only felt more crazy. I spent so long living in his melodrama - and I lost myself in it. We mutually broke up - he is an incredibly self aware person - but knows he is not well enough to be with me and knows I deserve better. I know everyone has some sort of illness or addiction so I'm not saying you could ever get around that - but I know for me personally, I wouldn't be able to do it. It would destroy me. I hope you have found peace with yourself and you aren't blaming yourself for any of his actions. It's hard enough to deal with your own insecurities in relationships than it is to live in a warped version of reality. Send him love, hope he gets well, and most of all put yourself first.

my name is dawn and I think my boyfriend also suffers from cyclothymia..its hard but I think I am going to try and guide him to some help but end the relationship... its too emotional... took heavy....sadddd!... bcuz I really do love him....

I am astonished at the talk about people with mental disorders so negatively! I myself have suffered with cyclothymia for years. It's very difficult to deal with but not all of us are so horrible. If you know they have this disorder then decide immediately whether or not you want to be a part of that. Also, don't go around diagnosing your significant others with psychological disorders based on some internet article or WebMD. If they are suffering emotionally suggest to them to seek help. If they don't and you can't deal, leave. Just remember, it's not their fault. Don't go blaming them and to the original poster, I'm sorry but saying he'll come running back is horrible. Leave him alone and if he comes back make it clear to him that you can't continue this. Your relationship together sounds very volatile and bad for both of you.
Please don't make us out to be bad people. I ruined my life in 1 year when the disorder began to rear its ugly head. My mom stood by me the entire time. I started to get better and then I met my boyfriend. 1 year later we were fighting so bad that I hit him. I was so shocked I immediately broke down. The next day I called and got help. Not all of us can do that so quickly but if you have someone like this in your life encourage them without making them feel like they are crazy. I've been taking medication for the last three years and my boyfriend and I are really happy, I will be graduating with my bachelor's degree in December and I have the best dog, a car, and a house. We can get better. We do need susuprt, but if you can't handle it or its too damaging to you then get out of their life asap. You will both be better off.

Thank you! I agree, what the he'll are people going on about above. I am newly diagnosed with cyclothymia and I've always struggled in staying in relationships but I'm working on that. My problem is I start feeling closed in and that letting my guard down will only bring me further sadness and that is something I never want to add to a very emotional illness to begin with. I start my counselling in a week so I'm hoping it helps with seeing things differently. All anyone ever wants is to be loved and actually it is still possible with this illness. Good for you finding your happy ending x

what medication are you taking!? It is imperative, I NEED to know, my girlfriend suffers from this same disorder, and because I love her unconditionally i refuse to leave her! we are in a rough stage right now, but we are slowly working through it all.

if we can somehow find her a decedent medicine that doesn't rewrite her personality, and destroy her mentally we can shave off YEARS of agonizing doctor's visits of jumping from medicine to medicine.

PLEASE tell me what you know !!

Hello i know this post is old but what was the outcome ? Did he ever come back? I’m asking because I’m gojng through it with my husband. I wonder if he will ever come back it’s been 4 days.

Hi everyone, I’ve never commented on anything like this, but I’m currently dealing with a horrible situation.

My as of 5 weeks ago ex-fiancé said she had bipolar however she then changed it to cyclothymia. We were friends initially as she had a bf and was in the process of a divorce after her husband found out she cheated on him with at least 3 guys. She was our Friday night waitress and our friendship blossomed, to the point her bf started to get concerned. At one point she was telling me she was going to marry him. Then he accused her of cheating as he became concerned she was hanging with me so much. She went off on him. Went to a concert with him the next week, texted me the whole time dumped him and showed up here to have sex the next day. I was caught completely off guard as she said she was going to marry him even though he lived 2 states away, but by then it was clear we had both developed feelings. The woman I started dating became a completely different person than my friend. Turns out she had quit her meds a week before she dumped him (assuming mania).

We fought a lot early as she treated me as if I were Her therapist. I couldn’t even go to work without my phone blowing up. 3 months into the relationship I suddenly can’t pee and get diagnosed with herpes. She claims it wasn’t from her but I hadn’t been with anyone else for 5 months and given her history, who knows. She even got fired from her waitress job for “drama” after she turned on 1 of her friends.

Eventually things improved and there was a murder at her apartment complex. I Semi-moved Her and her daughter in, but she was becoming impossible to deal with, was filthy, and was not contributing any money towards the house while still keeping her apartment which was disgustingly filthy. To send a message I changed The passcodes on the door and had my cousin meet to let her in. I got The cops called on me, she blocked me on everything, posted horrible things about me and then proceeded to move out a few days later back into her apartment. 2 weeks later we were talking again. I said I’d get back with her if she agreed to go back into her psychiatrist. She did 1 maybe 2 times. Then just started getting meds from her General doctor.

Everything improved. She moved back in when she could no longer afford her rent. We went to Scotland and I proposed there May 16, 2019. Everything was finally great-ish. I learned How to deal with her and she was mostly level. then she decided she was off and changed medicine. Come September she tells me a guy she cheated on her husband with had messaged her. I was like I thought you blocked him last year when he saw we broke up and was trying to hook up? Oh no I thought I did. It seemed fishy but I let it slide. A day or 2 later something seemed off. I asked to see the conversation and she had erased it. My trust was really down but we chugged on. November I get the flu or who knows, Covid-19. Bed-ridden for a week, she completely ignored me. I was stuck alone all day and she didn’t even come in to talk, only to sleep. By January 2020 she seemed to no longer be interested in sex, or at least her body wasn’t. She has endometriosis so maybe it was the medication for that. It made me really nervous though and I began to feel inadequate as I put on 60 lbs dating her. Then 1 day I vented to a friend about it and everything. Little did I know she had been going through my iPad and saw the convo. I felt horrible, but nothing I could do. I did decide it was odd she had been accusing me of cheating on her with my students and with friends etc, so I returned the favor and looked at her Facebook when it was up 1 day. I was shocked to see She had initiated the search for that guy she had lied and said messaged her the previous September. She also told a friend she had been talking to a lawyer (that I had paid $1800 for in her child support case) about moving out. I felt Completely betrayed. But we stayed together since she convinced me of her justification. At some point she added Xanax to her 3 other mental prescriptions, and everything just became hostile with her. She even pushed me at one point. She would yell at me a lot, cuss, slam doors etc. she changed completely and was acting the way she always accused me of acting.m, and I admit Early on in the relationship I did yell and name call when we would argue. It’s something I worked Hard to correct and then it started happening to me. She turned 30. Got close to a 22 year old who suffers from mental illness, and they clung to each other like leaches to the point I wondered If something was going on.

Then towards the end of April she became very distant for a week, always claiming to be doing homework. I didn't Fight it but eventually decided to try and embrace her there was nothing there. and she asked me to watch her daughter in a manor that showed something was off. So April 26, I looked At the phone records. At first I thought It was an affair. But it turned out to be a mortgage loan officer. She had been trying to get a loan (which is idiotic because her credit score is bad). My initial reaction after months of this c**p, was “pack your S and get the F out” in a calm but I give up voice. Then I said why. She said oh I wasn’t planning on telling you and that she had an epiphany 2 days before. I went outside disconnected the internet and made a call. Calmed down. Went inside to talk. She had her cat and bags packed and refused to talk. I paid for her phone which she hadn’t paid for for months, nor had she paid her bill contribution in full for months, so I suspended it to try and talk. She stormed out. I never heard from her again.

I thought it would be a brief mania as she had recently left for 1 night and blocked me on everything. However this time she changed numbers. She refused to respond. She cancelled my health insurance (I was through her work). And 11 days later I have a protective order on the door with boxes checked that I raped her, stalked her, harassed her and committed domestic violence against her. 2 hours after I saw it she shows up with police and had 15-30 min to grab Essential things.

I now Have a layer and a court date June 24 because I’m a teacher and do not want these horrible and disgusting lies and accusations to be on any record.

I absolutely Love this woman and her daughter. She is trying to destroy my life. Have we argued yes. Have I yelled. Yes. I even knocked a light dresser over. I had told her to get out at times when she would threaten to go. But I never wanted her to. I was just trying to help her make sense of how she was acting. But now here I am Laying in bed at 11:15am. Severely depressed over losing my fiancé who suffers from Cyclothymia. So now I am Talking to therapists because in my time dating her, I pushed Away nearly all of my friends. I became far more angry than I’ve ever been.

I love her and would take her back in an instant despite all that’s happened, but 5 weeks in I know She’s not coming back and that she probably did the Protective order because she knew I’d convince her to come back.

I don’t know. I’m broken. I’m shattered. I never got to say goodbye to her or her daughter. But anyways, that’s my cyclothymia story.

Oh she also only seemed to want to have sex when her daughter was here and awake!

I have a 2 year old and have Cyclothymia. I am thinking about talking my husband into a second child. Does anyone have any advice on this condition and pregnancy? I would love some input! Thanks