Why am I jelaous on my girlfriends ex relationships and boyfriends?

I have similar feelings and it's caused me a lot of problems. I know that these feelings are wrong and not rational but I can't help the way I feel. I was on antidepressants for 2 years and now I'm working with a counsellor to try to resolve it but I can't find the root of the issue.

A GIRL'S PERSPECTIVE: I'm a girl, 24 yrs-old. My boyfriend of 3 years feels this way. It makes me feel horrible. It makes me feel like my past is something bad and I shouldn't have a past, almost like I did something that deserves some kind of punishment for. :( I hate that it bothers him and wish I could just erase it for him, but I also realize that if it wasn't for my past then I probably wouldn't feel the way I do about him because I wouldn't have the knowledge and experience I have about relationships....... Please, for the love of your girls, love them and try to let their past go. It will only cause problems. Focus on the love you have for each other and remember that she is with you because she wants to be with you. Remember that her past is in the past because that's where it belongs, and that's where SHE WANTS it to be. I wish you all the best! <3   

Mate it's better to be content and happy with your girlfriend's choice of you over all others.Constantly bringing up her past into your relationship will only bring hurt and possibly an end to your relationship.Man up and just enjoy your relationship before your jealousy ruins everything.

I do agree with that if she don't care about you why she chose to stay with you and wasting time with you.Considering more trust between you and girfriend.

Thanks to everyone who posted. It has made me feel so much better to know im not a lone. I was beginning to feel like I was the only person and was crazy for it so I appreciate everyone's posts and honesty. If anyone has posted something negative to someone else's posts they are idiots, as it takes a lot for people to be honest. Unfortunately I too suffer from the same thing. The thought of my ex being with another guy, sharing another intimate moment, loving another man or to be fair, having another mans cum in her face, tits or creampie really pisses me off. I know like everyone else on here it is stupid, and prolonged ruminating won't be helpful by unfortunately I and help it. It's almost as if the closer I get to a girl, the more I need to know and the more it annoys me. Fortunately i know this so I have stopped Stopped asking questions because the answers won't change anything. Unfortunately, humans don't like having gaps in knowledge so I often assume the worst which isn't fun either. The reality is, I've had my past and she has had hers. I've been with 40+ women and she's only been with 5 so I have nothing to complain about. I think it is a personality trait that some people have, the same way some people have angry, depressed or sensitive personalities... Some people also don't enjoy the thought of their partner being slammed by others lol. Sometimes the thoughts are so intense I disconnect from my gf, as though she has done something wrong when I know she hasn't. It's not healthy for relationships and I do try to move on. I can offer some basic explanation for why I think it happens to some people and bare in mins it's general and may not be applicable to everyone. I think the origins of these thoughts come from our evolution. Men wanted to be alpha male and would fight it out for women. What ever man won had th first choice of women and the beta men had what ever was left over. Today I think it's still similar. When some guys get a women who had a past, it makes them feel inadequate, beaten by the ex's, as they got to the women first and did all these things to her. All of these manifest into what people label insecurities. To those who half agree with that, I can only say this. The girl met her ex's before you. When she met you she stayed with you. Obviously in her mind you are th best alpha male going around... If you weren't - she wouldn't leave you. So being with you is proof of it. As some one else said on the forum. Don't be a whiny b***h about things. Women do not respect whiny bit***s as bfs and they could eventually lose respect.

Well, This Post seems to be usefull but it's not. The more you read it, the more you hate the feeling.

Let me tell you about my experience:

I am in a relationship for 2 years. I was married to my first wife in 23 and i divorced her 2 years ago (in 27) and i am 29 years old by now.

Thought my gf only have 2 month relationship with some guy and though the only shared a kiss and touchs It made me crazy for a short period; I trained myself in the ways of martial arts and Sufism (The way of purification) and polished my souls for about 10 years but in the end i was a victim of jealousy; thank god i got rid of it ASAP :D

My Methods of getting it outta my head and shut it down deep in my soul:

1- Search for the reason in your heart why you are jealous?

 - > Answer:

A- You do love her at utmost levels and you want her for yourslef so badly you can't stand even knowing once a guy had her.

Way to solve it:

 - Ask her the main questions and be sure it will help you but don't get obssessed with it cause it will ruin your relation [Your partner start to belive you will hurt her in the future]

- Block any possible contacts with the Guys you know of even in facebook unless you totally overcome the problem. 

- Do not trust your mind; Trust your heart; - There are some cases that the your partner is not honest with you and be sure it will affact the future relationship and ruin it after years. If that is the case try to free yourself from this kind of relationships because your partner dosn't deserve you and sooner or later it will end up in the worst possible way.

- Start thinking about it until it disappears. If it dosen't then try to belive;

 

hope it helps :)

 

Listen Guys, we are all missing the big picture here. What each of us is doing is tormenting ourselves over something as simple and often trivial as SEX. Instead of conecntrating on the sotry of our lives, and our past experiences, we are obsessing with that of another person. Maybe its an dependency-complex....we dont like the idea of our lover being with another man, sharing feelings with him....but isnt that what lifes all about? Experiences? Ask yourself how YOUR sex life has been, and what YOU can do to improve it. And hey if thats sleep with mroe people yourself then go ahead!

What we blokes need to realize if were ever going to get full peice of mind is that we have also had partners that have come & gone and we are just as Bad/Good as the person we claim to care and have so much respect for!! If you cannot respect the girl you are with then you are with her for very superficial reasons.. 

You're psycho.....please don't mary anyone......ever.

Man OH Man.. The situation is crazy. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years are in love same as everybody else. And i feel the same as every guy that feels like this. My situation differs at our 1yr mark she actually cheated with her ex when he got out of jail in Our house. I found out, so she told me bout it. But she claims to that they were jus friend for so long berfore they got together its hard not to talk to him and hes a father figure to her daughter.... im was 23 she was 26. They gres up together but as adults got together lasting 5mnths. She has a son resulting from a claimed 1nite stand still claimin to never bn in a relationship with. All b4 me. I love her but its alot of lies in her past so i try not to care but when its in my head its stuck there. I kinda get irrirtated with her and a little mean but its not on purpose if that makes since. My past isnt great so y shud i care. She even gave me tha chance to sleep wit another chick after she cheated cause she felt guilty. I cudnt even do it, i wanted to jus for revenge but cudnt cause i loved her. Now @ 2yrs goin on 3 i jus try to find different outlets to relax. I feel stupid like its petty to even care or cause a fuss over. SMH

you will never shake this feeling. You will never overcome it. You definately do NOT WANT TO KNOW DETAILS OF HER PAST.This is the unadmitted problem of people having premarital sex. Woman was made for the man, not man for the woman. Feminist hate it, cause they want the right to be whores with no consequences. Sorry, you and her are benefiting from those consequences. She ain't the marrying type. Save yourself, and get the hell away from her. look for the one in a million, instead of the one who has been had by a million.

these feelings will haunt you forever. there's no way to get past these unless your wife loves you and show affection to extreme and same bonding is felt by you. If your wife is not emotionally attached with u and doesn't show affection then better to end the relationship than suffering for whole life.

thank you very much

Its ok to be bothered, but don't let it get the best of you. Its natural to feel that a girl has given all her best to the guys before you and all you are left with is the broken pieces of her heart caused by the same guys that got the best times with her.

You can stop thinking that, by the time she is with you depending on how previous relationships ended, there will be some reservations on her part, she might likely not let all the affections she has for you out due to her past experiences, her emotions will have been watered down, she will always be on guard and probably less sensitive to feelings, you end up paying for all the wrongs in her past relationships (the sacrificial lamb), trust me its usually never the same.

However LOVE is stronger than anyone's past. Love makes you look ahead rather than the begining, I am sure if you truly love her you will give it a shot, & I  promise that  it can only get better. Rememer you had your own past too.

I just wanted to say that this is the best advice on this thread. Period. This is actually some of the best advice I've ever read. Thank you, very much sir.

Well said x