Hate to be the bearer of bad news-
REBOUND.....you were her rebound relationship and it's really sad too since you say she Is your first love. And if he was hers
And she hasn't moved on from it, it will be along while before she does and it's highly likely she hasn't. She will tell you she has, because she doesn't want you to leave her but she is not likely over her previous relationship.
She unfortunately lacked the maturity to take time before getting into a rebound relationship
And now has involved you in her hot mess which will likely bring you a lot of pain and angst as you ride out this time with her waiting for her to finally be completely yours. I seriously don't underdtand why people choose
To be so selfish when it comes to other feelings. Rebounds are ugly when it involves emotions. Rebound sex is one thing-no strings attached. Reboundin with someone who genuinely cares for you and is in love with you
Is immature and self serving. I'm really sorry to hear this is your reality. You are a rebound.
Being one myself I can tell you it's miserable.
It has been my choice to stay bit I can't help feelin like I made the wrong decision. I could have a relationship with a person who is truly available. Rebounders will try and convince themselves and you that they are over their ex
And maybe they really do like you but the truth is they are in the past with someone else halfway and halfway with you while you are 100% there with them. It doesn't get easier. I think inheritantly we know they aren't over their ex, however we are in love with them so we stay. Did she break up with him, or vice versa and do you know what caused the break up? There is a point when you are over an ex that you just don't think about them anymore
Especially if you are with someone new that you are head over heels for. It can take years before this woman will completely be yours. You seem sweet so you likely will wait. I've been waiting four years and battled many ex-demons and sadly I don't even want my partner now. She did rebound with me, I convinced myself she was over her exes and even when it was right in my face I still stayed. I am angry with myself however, because I saw the signs but chose to ignore them. Rebounding. Is a character weakness that I think is best left be, no more rescuing.
I want to be with a person who can stand on their own two feet and can be on their own.
Someone who leans on you while they are pining I hiring over an ex and isn't just a friend
Is not someone trustworthy of your love. Unless you enjoy being a doormat. Her telling ou how bad her ex doesn't automatically make you her night in shining armor. It's a manipulation and doesn't speak of your real value. We shouldn't need that to feel wanted. Being truly wanted is being wanted for who we are as individuals not how much better we can be then someone else's ex partner because we are just that-second to the ex...still. You are so much better to me then my ex, ex being though of first in relation to you=unconsciously still thinking of ex, not really there with you completely. It's funny how we can operate so unconsciously. I get tired of being told how she's glad I don't do this like her ex. It's not valuing me as an individual. It's her thinking of her ex, then me. We aren't even the same person. Ie, still hurting over the ex.
Btw, there is always more to the story, so while she is telling you how horrible he was to her,
Thus making you want to protect her/avenge her, she also had a part to play in that relationship good/or bad which you will never know about. And we are not victims. Unless it's a case of violence which is life threatening
Your gf's ex couldn't have been all bad if she is still mentioning him. You were her rebound
And she doesn't want you to leave. Her heart can't love you the same as yours fdoes her because she doesn't sound like she took hers back all the way. Very sad. I'm sorry to hear
That this is your relationship. Regardless, we always survive even heartbreaks. Maybe if you wait long enough she will be yours or maybe
Ou will hae your first heartbreak then meet the partner of your dreams who is truly available.
I wish you the best whatever your decision. Like I said though you could end up picking up the prices of her broken heart while she is hurting over her ex, dealing with all the drama and garbage because she didn't have the courtesy or maturity to do this before she got into another relationship. I feel bad for you.
Being so available emotionally. Am rebounders can come wth a lot of baggage. I wish we had neon signs that would pop up if there were red flags like rebound, cheater, alcoholic, beater, habitual liar, mentally Ill, serial monogamist, ect...your feelings are natural but be aware to not become her fool or a rescuer which can be false flattery and basic emotional manipulation
You should be appreciated for you. Not how you aren't like her ex. If she's mature and ready for an adult relationship with you.