Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

Exactly the Same here, except mine had 2 before Me. I still See the images about what she told Me everyday. After 1 year 7 months It's still Killing Me everyday. Everything we do i relate To It, im obsessed with It i know that. I gave big issues and cant get It out of My head
Reply

Loading...

I too have the same problem.. I've been in a relationship for 8 months now.. And seem to be having major trust issues. Always have, after a recent ex cheated on me I kinda always have that in the back of my head. I'm with my current girlfriend and me (being stupid) ask her about her past relations with the guys she's been with... Boy do I regret that, every time I look at her I just get flash backs of how some other guy was enjoy the hell out of my girlfriend that I love so much and trust me fellas if there was an easy way out of this , I would have taken it. I guess it's something I just have to over come... Also, the way I met this girl is by her cheating on her ex.. We hooked up after knowing each other for a little while and she broke up with him the day after our first kiss.. I think the fact that she kissed me while being with him is the thing most screwing with me in my mind.. Anyways, Its very conforting to know that I'm not the only person that feels this way.

Reply

Loading...

You had the most inspirational way of dealing with this fear thanks im going to try to aply it to my current situation thats all i can do is try so i will
Reply

Loading...

Guess what? Your girlfriend has been in bed with other guys before you came along, just like you were with other girls before her. Let it go and grow the f**k up!!!

Reply

Loading...

Man you are definitely not alone in this problem. It's been driving my nuts for the last month. I love my gf so dearly and bought a house together. I found out she slept with two guys after being in a long relationship of 6 years and being engaged. She's so classy and down to earth and everyone loves her. All she wants is for us to be happy. I'm naturally a happy person and now everytime I think about those two guys I imagine what they did. And what's worse is I know the guys as well so there's no way in avoiding them. I'm not perfect person coz I slept around heaps too in my travelling. But I see my girlfriend perfect and now I feel as though she's just like everyone else. Sometimes I'd just go in quiet mode and it just creates tension. I don't know what to do as well.dont know if I should tell my mate or her coz I don't think it will result any good if I tell her how I feel about it. I used to laugh about it when she first told me and now I found out how it happened. I've read all the posts here and I guess it just takes time to let it go. It's just hard when u know the guys coz I couldn't care less if I didn't know them. I just don't know if I feel insecure or jealous or disappinted. But I'm really upset.
Reply

Loading...

This is a truly superb post. I was struggling with similar issues and this really helped me. Thank you so much! To all those who ripped on the guy who originally posted this question you should be ashamed!
Reply

Loading...

Time to go,tell the next one not to talk about her past at all
Reply

Loading...

It’s not an unusual feeling to experience this. Certainly so when it’s on a serious level. I believe it’s not so much that its because they have had past relationships, but rather that she once shared a feeling with another as she is doing so with you now. On the surface, this isn’t really a healthy way to think or go about it and speaks of insecurities of yours. It is imperative to acknowledge these feelings you have to try and find out the underlying cause of them.

Now, lets take this a bit further. Is it wrong to question how many partners she’s had? Hell. No. And don’t fall for the whole “its none of your business” c**p either. The number of guys a girl has slept with, and the circumstances, is a good indicator of her personality and approach to life. Because while she may also enjoy the sex, she's lowering her value as a female (ie. disrespecting her own future self value). You don't want a worn out girl that a bunch of other guys have passed on (think why they did this?), because it means there's a problem with her. How should it make a guy feel if the girl he's with has put out easily for other guys? It should make him feel like she's emotionally damaged. Those guys she slept with or was in relationships with have damaged her. The more guys, the more damaged. It isn't natural for girls to f lots of guys. Birth control can't change the evolutionary fact that scarcity is attractive. Truffles are special because you have to hunt for them and an enormous effort and thought is required to obtain them. s**ts are the egg mcmuffin that's been sitting on the heater for 2 hours that you'll consume if you're really wasted.

Now I think females have the right to have as many partners as they want, just as men do. But equally, no one is obliged to just accept a partner's past. Promiscuity is not the same for men and women either; for men sex is more of a sport, whereas women form much stronger emotional bonds and this can affect how she acts in the future.

So while I have no problem with a girl being slutty in her youth, it's her choice, I wouldn't accept a girl who had 7+ partners by 30. It shows very poor judgment on her part and I'd bet good money that she's an attention w**** and drama queen.

Reply

Loading...

Guys really.. You're upset about what she's told you about her past? Trust me there's more! If she told you she's been with 5 guys, double that number.. At least double!

Sorry but they all lie to make you feel better cause they know you don't want to really know. And if she says 3 and you get upset do you really think she will be honest about the rest?

They lie about how many guys, they lie about how often, they lie everything to do with that.

So try to let it go, you will never know the full story anyway.
Reply

Loading...

With you on that.nits sometimes hard to stop the cycle of negative thinking. I have the same issues from time to time. I just keep telling.myself it's all irrational and think of what a great woman I have who loves me over and over until the bad thoughts go.
It takes time.
Reply

Loading...

I completely agree. Women lie about their past. If they say 10 its likely at least 20. They will tell you all sorts of things to make you feel better and they are all lies. I've been with my wife for 18 years. When we first met she told me about her past lovers (at least the version she created). We haven't talked about it in 18 years and it still pisses me off. It also pisses me off that she lied about it. I'm actually more angry about that. To the guys who posted that they are bothered about their girlfriends past: it is completely normal, but you should know that it will never get better. You will always be bothered. If you think your girl was too much of a s*** before she met you, then she probably was and it will always drive you crazy. Also, if she had one night stands, guess what? She has been turned on to instant sexual gratification and will always long for that in the future. Dump the tramp and find a better girl.

Reply

Loading...

You have different standards for men and women. You think she should be "more decent" because she's a woman. I haven't enough time to explain how wrong that idea is.
Lot of people suffers the same you are suffering now. But in your case I don't think you will be able to overcome it. Your XVIII century values are going to be a huge issue when you try to rationalize this. You should leave her and find a virgin.
Reply

Loading...

Hi!
I know this post is older than a year, but I hope it can still help, the people who find it now. The thing you're struggling with, is called RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY. Some people say it is caused by insecurities, but thrust me, it's not that simple. First of all, if you already know too many things about your girlfriend's (boyfriend's) past, stop asking, stop looking for answers, you won't find anything useful! (Unless she (he) is unfaithful to you.) The more you know the worse it gets! JUST STOP!!! FOCUS ON THE PRESENT AND THE FUTURE! It is your girlfriend's (boyfriend's) mistake if she (he) left out those pictures or if she talked too much about her past relationships in detail. Tell her (him) to stop, because it's hurting you. The problem is that, knowing these things too early in a relationship, it can break the intimacy before you can build your own. I'm struggling with something similar! I'm in a relationship with a girl since 9 months and the past 5 months of this relationship have been retroactive jealousy hell for me. I was confident about myself when I met her (I didn't have insecurities), I accepted her past, I was even happy with it, but she wasn't over her ex when we began dating (I didn't know at the time). The whole thing came down with her (him) randomly mentioning her (his) ex and comparing me over him (even in the bed!!!). When I realised what's happening, it was too late, I already fell in love with her.
So first of all you have to ask yourself, if your girlfriend (boyfriend) is realy over her (his) ex. If she (he) is, it won't be any effort for her (him) to stop talking about him (her) or to put away those pictures. If you are THE ONE who realy matters, there is no place for any exes!!! No sane person would risk loosing a good relationship to one that has already ended, unless it has a special place in their heart (she's (he') not over him (her)). If you see any signs that her (his) past relationship or ex, still has some importance for her (him) in any way, then don't ask, don't give yourself explanations why it is this way, JUST GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP!!! Seriously GET OUT, or you'll get hurt in a way you never imagined you can. This is what happened to me. I was giving myself explanations why she did this, why she said that, she probably didn't mean it that way and in the end I'm hurt.
Your self-esteem will drop almost to ZERO, because you will feel like everything you do, everything you are is not enough for the person you love (and of course you're not enough, because in order to love you, you would need to be her (his) ex).
PLEASE DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKES I DID!!! I'm suffering so badly, I would turn back time if I could. If you have any updates on how it turned out, please share.
Reply

Loading...

dont let them rub an ex in your face ,the past is gone
and unless they bring that past into your present its
none of your business
Reply

Loading...

Im actually in the same situation mate, thanks for sharing your experience, i guess the past is the past and we have to man up and let it go.( it's really hard to hold on but so easy to give up)
Reply

Loading...