I'm trying to find anyone who might have good advice or thoughts for me...I am recently married and the woman I am with is more patient then I deserve...after several unexplained incidents I explained to her that I am a bi-polar. Without explanation I will suddenly become angry and closed down, I won't talk to her, hug or kiss her or do anything in the middle of an attack. I see the hurt in my wifes eyes and it is usually what ends the episode but everytime it kills me a little more seeing both the unending love and hurt in her eyes at the same time...it is usually something really small that is said or some small action and I am gone in a world of anger. I am trying my hardest to get ahead of this and in some ways succeeding, but I can't take seeing the look of pain and sadness in her eyes anymore knowing how much she loves me...and I love her to much to keep this up and I sometimes feel I'm not doing enough so I thought I'd ask for some help out here to see if there is more I have not though of I could be doing.

I am in the U.S. military and bi-polar is not tolerated so I can not go asking for help unless I want to lose my career and ability to provide.