Why can't I have orgasims, and what can I do

i have been married for 12 years. it takes time, be patient, sometimes lack of an orgasm comes from an anxious thought or desire for it to come. i always thought maybe i aggrivated my wife and thats why she couldnt orgasm. it wasnt until i satisfied her heart she could orgasm, i dont mean me satisfying her heart i mean, helping her satisfy her heart. when she had one, it was awesome and the most beautiful thing that ever happened to her

"There is no such thing as a frigid woman... Only CLUMSY men!" :-)

Seriously all, I suggest you buy (new and revised) "The Joy of Sex." Is a "how to..." (sex) manual w/ all you (or Anyone, for that matter) need know.
And for the "terminally shy..." Yes. It's not only available at your local bookstore/s (it's NOT pornography, btw), you can buy it online AND in *some* (enlightened) public libraries. --Heck, if your parents are "Baby Boomers," y'might wanna ask your *Mom* to borrow HERS!

I discussed this issue with my Dr. once. I am 35 now and was becoming very concerned. The way he explained it to me that as a woman gets older she is more in tune or aware of what she wants and needs to be pleased. The demand to be pleased in the way you want to be pleased in other words. I first had to explore and find out what I need and desired for myself sexually. I am in a long term relationship and felt comfortable discussing it. It took time for him to adjust to my being so open and I think he took ofense to my beind so demanding. However the desire to prove he was capable of pleasing me and his curisity soon got the best of him and after a few dead rumps the tide turned.

You might have a recktile disfunction go to you doctor now!!! You will need to take pills to make your penis work :P