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My question is really why do men choose porn over their own girl. Iv have been in a relationship for almost three years now. I love my guy very much and am very attractive to him. When I first met him we fell head over heels and our sex drive was insanely out of control. We moved n together right away we have two kids now together well 4 in tital with my other 2. After a couple months I find out that he has an adfiction to watching porn. It didnt botger me at first, cuz n da beghining we use to watch it together while having crazy hot sex. But after awhile I noticed he was watching I every chance he got on the computer. He wud hide it from me but I caught him so manyyyyy timesssss. I brought it up to him and poured out my feelings veing that it really screwed up my self esteemed cuz of the type of women he wud lust over. im a girl who use to be thick 127 with a nice juicy ass and come to find he loves ass so much..well I went through a very hard time in da beginning dealing w baby msna drama and lost alot of weight. Im now 113 I still get compliments alot from other men like all da time but dont feel so sexy around my guy. My ass is still nice but not as big. So I immediately think hes not attractive to me like he once found me....my anxiety has taking over im now thinking 24 hours wat hes doing when hes in his phone playing around cuz now that we dont gave a home computer he uses his phone to watch porn. After fighting w him so much about this nasty degrading habit of his I finally broke it down to him that its turning me off completly and its gonna ruin our relationship. I mean I love sex willing to have it anywhere anytime. I consider myself to b very good at what I do sex oral ect.... And I dont complain about how many times or wat ever hour of the day. I luv to xxxx...lately his sex drive has been off hes not the same. Im worried that porn has really screwed up his mind and he cant focus kn what's real anymore. I have do ne alot of research and found this is the problem. I cant figure oyt why does he watch it wen I ask him he himself cant come to a goid reason y its like I tell him watching other fsje airbrushed wimen getting f**k by men who aint u is a day wasted in life and with the real women who truly loves u. Please tell me wat u think so I can figure out where to go from here

How ya doing 1ofakind? Hope it's sunny where you are...c**p weather where I am! :o(

 

Men & porn...mmm, you've bought up a very common modern-day relationship problem.

There are a couple of things going here- firstly, your man is probably letting porn take over a little bit. There's a healthy measure of porn & an unhealthy measure of porn...and if a man is watching it too frequently and/or passing up real sex to watch it- you have a problem.

Secondly- you are viewing your man as a 'person' and not a 'man'. Men and women have quite different emotions and thought-schemas when it comes to sex & sexual fantasies. There's a lot of evolutionary-psychology theories that go to explain the differences & I could well bore you with them, so I'll try and get to the point.

Women are emotionally-connected when it comes to sex-fantasies, whereas men are visually- connected. In otherwords, when you're thinking "This is good, I feel close to my man doing this"; he's thinking "She looks fit hot- I wanna **** that!"

Women tend to fantasise about sex in a way that it makes them feel good emotionally- men tend to concentrate on the way the fantasy makes his body feel good. Do you know when an attached man has a sex fantasy, it is more likely to be about someone he doesn't know, rather than his partner. This is apparently true for gay men too. Women in relationships, however, are more likely to fantasize about their partner.

 

It may well be that your man has a problem; sex websites can be addictive, yet don't take it personally. It is not about how you look or you as a person. Fantasies are just that- things we can't touch and places to go when we want to escape. But most of us don't really want to live in them- too much of a good thing creates contempt.

What men look at on those websites is not real sex- it's an idealistic version of it and if psychological studies are to be believed, most men don't wouldn't want a porn-star to be their girlfriend (men are quite territorial creatures....don't like something used frequently by others!) and most men tend to be in to women that are 'realistic' rather than plastic.

 

Try not to get a complex over this- it really is more of a matter of why your boyf wants to immerse himself in it. Perhaps you need to 'forget' to pay the internet bill for a couple of months.

 

Best wishes.

 

V

 

(FYI...random, I know, but my ex dated an ex- porn-star. Turned out very badly- he couldn't get it out of his head that a good few thousand people had seen her with cum on her face...and everywhere else. Most porn stars tend to date within the industry, as it can be a hard job for some men to understand.) 

 

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Thanks for the advice. I know its a fantasy for men. What I find sickning is how does watching men f**k these women turn them on so much it aint them doing the f*****g. So to say my guy likes watching other womens p***y ass and tits,then where does dat leave my body. I want a man to fantasies about my small breast my petite cute body and my nice ass. I want to feel sexy erotic when im f*****g my man. Thinking he is fantazing about these fake airbrushed bit***s stops me from getting aroused. It has now escaladed to me having a problem when it comes to getting off. Its funny cuz I asked him onenight after reading one of these stories from a man who started having premature ejaculation and how porn almost ruin his life he was like man that man was sick wow , so I asked him then y do u watch it he replyed idk its just watching it u know we cant see when we are having sex with you women. Wtf then wat r u looking at . If we are naked on top of u or
cowboy style who r u looking at. Hello come on if a man is with a women its because hes obviously attracted to her and her body. Thats y I know this has affected my guy cuz before this relationship not to bring it up but heck it proves my point....I was married for 11 years and I never had this problem. I felt sexy ass hell even w two kids..I was always center of attention. Thats along time and never once did I ever get compared to porn....or chosen. sometimes I think its my fault for being so open about it in the beginning but then I realize this was his pronlem in all his last relationship also. So its him not me. Im just being a sensative honest women about my feelings and how im feeling. If he cant respect that then whose to say he might not love me the way I love him. Hey like expert says watching men who aint you f**k porn chics is a day wasted in life. Is it really wortb loosing the real thing for the fake sh*t...
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Oh onemore thing to add I refer to him as my guy cuz if he wer a real man I wouldnt b having this problem. He has aloy of gtowing up to do. Its like I told him once every chick on these porn Web is someones daughter can u imagine...especially these young girls. Its just discuss ing to me to even think about considering I have a beautiful little girl...
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Women tend to find porn revolting and disrespectful but men use porn to escape from reality. I suggest you talk to him about it. I'm pretty sure most guys would have a problem if their girlfriends shouted George Clooney's or Brad Pitt's name in bed instead of theirs. I would use that example because it's basically what it is. He's fantasizing about some woman who isn't you. How would he feel if you fantasized about another man? Two can play that game.
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You made some good points in your response, however, I feel like it reinstates or further encourages my belief that men are just animals. Ugh. But I have a question and am interested in hearing your perspective. Men are very possesive or territorial, so how do men feel about their gf/wives lusting after sexy porn men? Does it bother men to think that their significant other is fantasizing about the usually large penises that are so prevalent in pornography?
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Most men are definitely territorial! He won't be thrilled about your sexual thoughts being geared toward someone else, plus the average guy has a problem sharing his girlfriend with another man (both mentally and physically). Double standard right?
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Yes! Men are double standard pieces of c**p. I think that porn should be banned for men. I think that its 100 percent disrespectful. If they dont want us cheating. Than dont look at another female get naked.

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