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I have been with my partner for 16 months now and we have been living together for 14 months. I am still a virgin and I really want to know why I experience so much pain when we try to have sexual intercourse. I am really desperate to make love to my partner, I love him so much and we have tried everything we can think of and I mean EVERYTHING!!! We took things slowly and really got to know each other and he has never pressured me into anything. We have a great relationship and oral sex is not a problem, in fact it's great but I want to go beyond that but no matter what we do the pain is so intense that I end up in tears and I can't carry on. At first I was scared of having sex and I wasn't totally ready, I realise that now but we got to know each other and I trust my partner 100%. I have been down every path I can think of; I have been to my GP and she couldn't examine me because it was too painful to put anything in to open me up to examine me so she referred me to a gnyecologist who had to sedate me to properly examine me. They said I was atomically normal, she made a small cut at the opening of my vagina as she thought I was a bit small so she said that would help but everything was fine and my hymen is broken. It took me quite a while to heal from that and I was in so much pain and I had to be careful when moving and it stung like mad when I went to the toilet but after a few weeks it went away. I made sure I was fully healed before we tried again. I was so confident that after they had opened me right up and checked everything was physically ok then it wouldn't hurt any more but I was so wrong. The pain was still as bad as before so I thought it had to be physical so I started seeing a sex therapist. I saw my therapist for 4/5 months and we worked hard at trying to find out a psychological reason but there wasn't much to go on as I haven't been abused and my mam has always been open about sex to me and told me as long as I am safe and happy with the person and I want to have sex then it is great, and I have been on the pill since our relationship began so I don't need to worry about getting pregnant and my partner has not got any STI's so I don't need to worry about that. After all that time and not moving forward I thought I was running out of options so I recently went to see a hypnotherapist who has really helped me mentally about any fear or anxiety about everything in my life and about sex and she even helped me with my depression which is great. After a couple of sessions with her I was 100% sure I could have sex with my partner and enjoy it. I was really looking forward to making love to him and we had foreplay for at least an hour before, I was well lubricated and I was really excited, there was no fear or anxiety but when we came to have intercourse I couldn't even get the tip of his penis in because the pain was so agonising I was in tears and I thought about just going through with it and dealing with the pain but when we tried to go further the pain intensified and it felt like I was bleeding but not just like period blood it felt as if it was acid, this is the only way I can describe it but I couldn't get comfortable after that, the pain was too bad. 

I am really desperate now and this doesn't help with my depression because all I want is to have a full sexual loving relationship with my partner and give myself to him and enjoy being as close as we can. I just want the pain to go away and enjoy my sex life with the man I love more than anything. He has been brilliant as has been right by me through everything and supports me 100% but I feel so guilty and I don't feel like much of a woman. I have looked up every illness, disease and infections I can think of and they don't match my symptoms and my GP has cleared me of everything we can think of and it isn't mental because I have had all the mental help I can get and afford and I am 100% ready mentally, I am just so confused as to why the pain is so bad. I understand my first time being a little painful or uncomfortable which I could deal with but this is agonising and I am worried this will get in the way of our relationship down the line. I am so desperate now please someone help me!!  
bump bump bump
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google vaginismus for some help.
plenty of material there.
see another gynaecologist with the diagnosis is my recommendation!!!
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Sounds Like Vaginismus to me. It can occur with every partner, a certain partner , or can suddenly occur after years of sexual intercourse. Its not always related to trauma, sometimes it just happens and alot more women suffer from it that you probly even realise. Do you often have trouble even inserting a tampon? and do you do anything when alone? It is psychological, you have trained your brain to expect pain when anything goes in or near your vagina, therefore the brain sends signals to your vagina to cramp up. The brain/mind is a powerful machine and it literally has convinced you, that sex is painful. I myself had it, and for years, I couldnt allow myself to get close to anyone because when it came to intimacy I just couldnt do it. It hurt to much, it felt like someone trying to insert something the size of melon in to a pin hole, whilst running carpet burn with sandpaper, It felt painful and impossible. But with the right guy, and alot of understanding about the condition I slowly moved forward. What you have to remember is that not only have you associated this pain, you also have made such a big deal out of it. It is a MASSIVE issue in your life (Which is understandble) But it shouldnt be. Highlighting it as such an issue just makes you stress even more about it. IT CANT BE OVERCOME. You just need the right help. There is something you can try yourself, which are plastic objects that come in several sizes, and you start with the smallest and gradually over time, insert them in to yourself. Then over time, you eventually can freely insert the smallest and you move on to the second. Just to get your body used to the idea of relaxing the vagina walls when something goes near it, and that pain doesnt always occur. I really feel you should look in to this :) Good luck though, and remember you will get is sorted... I Promise...

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*CAN (Sorry) You CAN get over it :) I never thought I would after years but I did :)
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