Hi, I am 17 years old, and I have been raised in a rigid, religious family. I don’t want to talk about this with my parents, because I know it would offend them. The thing is, I’m wondering about family values that I was taught to respect. I don’t see the point in many of those things, for example why is it so shameful to my parents when someone has a child without being married.
Hi, it’s a good thing that you’re thinking for your self and that you’re trying to understand things before excepting them. I was raised with the same family values as you, so I know how you feel. I never had an option to think differently or to have my own opinion. However, I couldn’t live in a lie and pretend that I agreed with all the things I was taught. For example, my parents think that people should stay married even if they’re unhappy together just because of the kids. I don’t agree with that, because I think that it’s better for a kid to have separated parents than to live in cold home without love and laugh. I am a grown person now, and I have my own family values. I am sorry that my parents cannot accept that.
Part of growing up is individuating your beliefs as different from your parents' beliefs. It is the process of becoming an individual. Life is not cut and dry and NO ONE has all of the answers. It is perfectly natural to question those beliefs that do not make sense to you. You might just have to fake it for a while and pretend that you agree until you are ready to declare your opinions in front of your parents. I'm 31, and sometimes I still fake it.