Boredom

When she told me in a phone session that she was eating out of boredom, I was puzzled.

“Pamela, you have so many interests and you are such a creative person. Why are you so bored in the evenings?”

“In the evenings I expect Mark (her second husband – married 3 years) to be with me – especially now that all our kids are gone. But he is often late from work and then he generally likes to just relax and watch TV.”

“Are you waiting for Mark to entertain you?”

“Humm…yes, I guess I am.”

“Well, there must be good reason why you think Mark should entertain you and take away your boredom. Do you have any idea what this is about?”
“Isn’t that what relationships are about?”

“So, in your mind, Mark is responsible for taking away your boredom instead of you being responsible?”

“Yes, I think I have believed that, but now that you say it, it doesn’t really make sense. But I don’t know what to do to not be bored in the evenings.”

“That is the issue we need to address. When you think about the times you feel most alive, when is that?”

“I always feel alive when I’m doing something creative – like when I’m doing art, or decorating our house, arranging flowers, or writing poetry. I love doing those things.”

“Then why don’t you do them in the evening?”

“I always thought that was time for Mark and me. I think I would feel guilty if I just did what I wanted to do in the evenings.”

“Do you really think Mark would be upset?”

“(Laughing) No, he would probably be relieved. I think he has been feeling some pressure from me to entertain me.”

“What else brings you joy?”

“I’m always happy when I’m helping people. I love helping my friends in different ways.”

“Pamela, when you are creating and giving, are you in your head or your heart?”

“Oh, definitely in my heart!”

“When you are bored and eating, are you in your head or your heart?”

“I’m in my head, thinking about how bored I am and how I wish Mark would pay attention to me.”

“So when you giving and creating, you are open and allowing Spirit to come through you. This fills you, so you feel happy and fulfilled. But when you expect Mark to pay attention to you, you stop allowing Spirit to fill you and expect Mark to fill you. You shift from Spirit being your Source to Mark being your Source. Then you feel bored. Is that right?

“Yes! That is right! Okay, I am going to stop expecting Mark to fill me up and start doing the things I love to do in the evenings. What a good way to lose weight!”

Read More: Seven Tips for a Fun and Healthy Camping Trip

It is actually not possible to feel bored when you are open to allowing the joy, love, truth, freedom, and creativity of Spirit to come through you. Boredom is often the result of staying in your head and wishing someone would come along and fill you up. When someone doesn’t come, then you might turn to food or some other substance, or some activity such as TV or the Internet. And even though these substances and activities may take away the boredom for the moment, they will never fill you up the way Spirit does when you intend to express your creativity, and when you intend to express your caring to others.
Next time you find yourself feeling bored, think about how you can express yourself creatively, or how your can express your giving and caring to someone else. When you take the loving action of creativity or giving, you will find yourself filled up and joyful instead of bored.