I remember it like yesterday — frankly because it shocked me a little. An acquaintance who was into all sorts of alternative parenting techniques asked me to show her the bathroom for her little baby's toileting needs. Going in, I thought my acquaintance was going to change her baby's diaper. That's not what happened.
For some reason, my young daughter and I ended up in there with her and the baby. She promptly removed the child's bottom clothes, plonked her over the sink, and started saying "poopy, poopy, poopy". Some time later, the baby produced said stool. We were living in an old house, the sink became clogged, and solving the problem was quite disgusting.
What is infant potty training?
Babies all over the world are diaper-free by necessity or because diapers aren't part of their culture — (sub-)cultures that practice forms of "elimination communication" are found on every continent. Parents of young infants, who are also frequently carried around all day in these cultures, soon learn to recognize the signs that a pee or poo is coming. Facial expressions, squirming, and little grunting noises can all serve as fairly reliable indicators.
The parent then takes the baby to the place where they want them to perform their bodily functions, often using verbal cues to help the child recognize that they're encouraged to void. They may come up with different cues for urination and bowel movements. Parents may start this practice as soon as a baby is born, or wait a few months. Either way, potential clogged sinks aside, it can work. The baby-parent dyad establish a kind of communication that encourages the infant to wait to void until it is convenient for the parent — and yes, research shows that infants indeed have this sort of short-term control over their own bodily functions.
It's not "potty training" in the modern western sense — babies parented this way are still reliant on adults to be able to go potty, and can certainly not walk over to the toilet, lower their pants, do their business, and clean up after themselves. What is achieved, though, is a diaper-free state. Some accidents occur, but often surprisingly few.
Infant potty training: Why to give it some serious thought
There are plenty of reasons elimination communication may appeal to you:
- Diapers are expensive. Disposable diapers are not biodegradable and extremely damaging to the environment. Cloth diapers need to be washed, which takes time and also has an environmental impact.
- Sitting in wet or soiled diapers, even for a short time, is unpleasant for the infant and may create diaper rashes and urinary tract infections.
- It's possible and kind of cool. You won't have to go through more traditional potty training later. Newborn stools are less nasty than toddler stools. The age at which parents potty train their kids has risen with time. Why not allow your child to exert more control over their body at a younger age?
- Elimination communication is just one facet of a more infant-centric parenting approach, commonly referred to as attachment parenting. Parents learn to understand their child's needs very intimately.
Why to skip elimination communication
There are also plenty of reasons not to consider the practice of infant potty training:
- For this to work, you'll need to spend basically all of your time with your baby, or be surrounded with a "village" that supports this method. If you don't, you won't learn to understand your baby's cues and the process cannot be effective. This means the method is essentially reserved for stay-at-home parents or those in cultures where elimination communication is commonplace.
- There will be accidents. If your baby is diaper-free at all times, messes will end up on you, your clothes, your furniture, in stores, and so on.
- People will look at you weirdly, and perhaps even judge you negatively. (Pro tip: Ask for permission before you allow your baby to poop in the sink of someone you don't know well.)
- You don't fancy doing this. If so, don't.
The 'bottom' line
Infant potty training is possible. It's hard work, not necessarily because taking your child to the toilet will take a long time, but because you'll spend a lot of time observing them for signs they need to go. This method isn't suitable for parents who'd rather spend time doing other things, or who simply don't have the time. It can, however, help you prevent diaper rash and infections, and save you a whole lot of money on diapers.
Infant possible training is a personal choice available to some. If it appeals to you, you can certainly be successful.