We, humans, love a good fresh start. Fresh starts give us hope, awaken a yearning for change and a better tomorrow, and help to remind us that we can overcome difficult events and still thrive.
Few fresh starts come around as often and predictably as the New Year. It's only normal that so many try to harness the power of this mini new beginning by resolving to do better and be better.
The problem? We live, today, in a world that many perceive to be scarier and more hopeless than just a few short years ago. No matter where in the world you're reading this from, your life is likely touched by recent global events. They include the COVID-19 pandemic, war, genuinely worrying inflation, and climate change.
Finding hope is going to be hard for some, who may feel they don't have a lot to look forward to. If you're not a natural optimist, you may find yourself catastrophizing and ruminating — and as we enter another new year, your mind might be filled with fear and worry more than with hope or anticipation.
Here's the problem — filling your mind with fear and worry aren't going to make you happy, and they're unlikely to solve the big and small problems you and the world face. As the new year starts, we'd like to share some tips on leaving those negative and unproductive feelings behind, so you can embrace the world you live in with, at the very least, contentment.
What's the Problem with Being Worried? There's Real Stuff to Worry About, After All.
The American Psychological Association defines worry as "a state of mental distress or agitation due to concern about an impending or anticipated event, threat, or danger." In other words, worry brings feelings about a future that may or may not come to pass into the here and now, where you can catastrophize about it.
Let it go on, and worry can turn into anxiety — a state of mind that essentially combines worry with physical and mental symptoms that make it feel like the terrible things you're scared of are already happening.
Worry can alert you to a problem you may be able to solve sometimes. When you worry about things you cannot change, however, you slowly create a living hell. Not only do chronic worries, which easily develop into an anxiety disorder, not solve any problems, they can actively turn potential problems into actual ones. (No, not necessarily in the form of a self-fulfilling prophecy, but at the very least in the form of causing yourself health problems.)
Uncertainty about the future is a great source of stress and worry for many, and we can probably all agree we're heading into a more uncertain near future than we did when we celebrated the new year 10 years ago (on a global level, at least).
1. Remind Yourself That Worry Isn't Productive
Worry sometimes feels like action. It isn't. You're wasting your time. Fear is a threat response that occurs in the presence of ongoing danger. Worry is self-created fear about something that may or may not happen in the future.
When you find yourself worrying, ask yourself this — is the thing you're scared of happening right now? Is it affecting your life right now?
Worries over the possibility you may lose your job is a good example here. Do you still have your job? Good. You're worrying. Stop doing that. If there's something you can do to increase the odds that you won't lose your job, or to find a better job, do that. If not, there's no point ruining your life now over something that may ruin your life later. Telling yourself your worries are not productive can be surprisingly effective for some people.
2. Recognize That You're Worrying
This sounds stupid, but sometimes naming the experience allows you to let go. Suppressing the worry may be less effective than allowing yourself to sit with it for a few minutes, consciously telling yourself "oh, I notice I'm worrying again," and then getting on with your day. Don't allow that voice to take over, but recognize it's there.
3. Look After Your Body
The world looks clearer, fresher, and less dark when you look after your body. Allow yourself to eat as well as you can. Get enough sleep. Take a nice hot shower. Exercise often, and spend time outdoors in the fresh air if you can. Don't try to suppress your fear with alcohol, gaming, workaholism, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms. Make it until you fake it; your body will reward you with better mental health if you look after it.
4. Seek Connection
We're not meant to do this — life — alone. Are you feeling lonely and isolated? Reach out to people you love and who love you. Pursue new experiences. Connect with new people. Even casual warm interactions can make a difference. Try seeing how you can make a stranger's day better; you'd be surprised how much of an impact it has.
5. Write Your Worries Down
Some people journal. Try doing that not late at night, before you try to fall asleep, but in the morning. Write your worries away so you get them off your chest, and see if that positively influences the rest of your day.
Don't stop there. Also remind yourself what is good and healthy in your life, and what you can be grateful for. Yes, there's always something. Go a step further and reflect on your worries if you dare. You may be worried about nothing. The future that awaits you could be a lot better than the future you dread; surprises don't just arrive in the form of doom, and can be happy, too.
6. Clean Your Life Up
Ask yourself what aspects of your lifestyle increase your preexisting tendency to worry. For many of us, that's the internet and excessive news consumption. If it's grinding you down, let it go. Sure, reading the news is important, but that doesn't mean you have to spend so much time doing it. Don't read the news before bed, either, as worries get worse at night.
7. Force Yourself to Live in the Moment
Yes, it gets easier with time.
If you have to, take a good look at your immediate physical environment and name the things in it. Be grateful for what you have right now, and hold onto that gratitude. Everything could change for the worse tomorrow, but everything could also change for the better.
We're not meant to stagnate. We're meant to live, learn, and grow. We're meant to change, all the time. Who knows what the future may bring? Not you, not me. But what we can do is seize the moment we have now and live it to the fullest.