Returning To Work After Maternity Leave Or Being A SAHM: Tips To Keep You Sane And Healthy

Are you returning to work after maternity leave, or after years of being a stay-at-home mother? Some anxiety is inevitable — you'll worry not just about how settling back into working life affects you, but also about how it will impact your family. The phrase "you can't have it all" won't be unfamiliar to you if you're soon going to be a working mom (again), but while there's truth in the saying, you can still have an awful lot. How do you find that work-life balance, and how do you find your feet during those first few months back at work?

Working Motherhood Should Be A Guilt-Free Zone

Right or wrong, society — and we women ourselves — often see mothers as the default primary parents. Some women who took time out of the workforce to be with their kids and are now returning to employment outside of the home loved being stay at home mothers, and wish they could be professional parents forever. Others felt they sorely lacked intellectual stimulation and daily contact with a wide variety of adults, and are elated to be going back to work. Women in both camps often deal with guilt. Don't be one of them: you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty for. 

Research suggests that children benefit from working mothers in a variety of ways. Women raised by mothers who held down full-time jobs are more likely to be employed themselves, but not only that — they have better odds of being in leadership positions at work, and make more money. Men whose mothers worked out of the home, on the other hand, tend to play a more active role in their own families, doing their fair share of household chores and being more proactive in their role as fathers. 

Adjusting To A Different Kind Of Family Life

Once you go back to work, you'll be spending a whole lot less time with your kids. Is that a bad thing?

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Just think about this one for a minute — if you've been on maternity leave or were a stay at home mom, your partner was probably working outside of the home full-time all along. Both you and your partner were probably working when you met, for that matter — did that impact your ability to spend quality time together? The answer is most probably "no". Nobody trots the idea that not spending all day with your partner is bad for your relationship, and there's no reason seeing less of your kids will mean having less fun together, or — the dread! — sharing a less meaningful relationship either. 

"I was worried I'd only see my kids in the evenings and during the weekends, and that our shared lives would come to an end," Brenda told SteadyHealth. "Though I do see less of my kids, the time we do spend together is actually better than it was before. Rather than taking each other for granted, we spend more time actually talking and listening to each other, as well as sharing important events like family dinners, football games, and hikes during the weekend. We get as much 'relationship time' in during the hours we have now as we did before, and perhaps even more." 

Yes, being a working mother will induce a change in the time you and your kids spend together, but that does not have be a bad thing, at all. 

Feeling Confident At Work

Whether you've taken a few months' maternity leave or have been a stay at home mom for years, there's no denying that taking care of kids is a whole lot different than being at work. Many mothers, no matter how educated, how competent, and how expert in their field, admit to worrying about returning to work. Will your colleagues see you for the professional that you are, or will they doubt your abilities because you were taking care of kids while they were on the front lines, gaining experience and keeping up with professional development? 

Avoid the trap of feeling incompetent by connecting with people from your professional life before you return to work, reviewing your past achievements, and networking with colleagues. Some mothers who are returning to work will benefit from taking a course to brush up on their professional skills, if only for their own confidence levels. Don't discount the value of your more recent experience either: moms rock at multi-tasking, need to have excellent time-management skills, and may be better at interacting with the public than non-parent colleagues. 

Tips For Making Work Work For You

• Explore the idea of flexible hours and telecommuting with your employer, if that's what you want. Many jobs can be done out of the workplace and during flexible hours, and if some flexibility means you are able to perform better, there's no reason your employer shouldn't be accommodating. On the other hand, your partner and kids should also offer a good deal of flexibility, adjusting to the new situation by picking up the responsibilities you no longer have time for. 
• You'll be more confident and perform better at work if you look and feel your best. Therefore, don't let the fact that working motherhood requires a lot of juggling take away from your self-care time. Get enough sleep, make time for at least one hobby — whether solo or shared with your family — and budget for a new working wardrobe that will make you feel and look awesome, as well as a visit to the hairdresser. 
• Plan ahead, whether it comes to meals, fun family time, or your job. Accept that settling into work will probably require all of your efforts at the beginning, and that you may have to work harder than everyone else while you prove yourself as a competent employee. After the adjustment period, though, guard your family time like a hawk and don't let overwork and work from home cut into your private life. A good schedule will accomplish this.