So, Your Toddler Is Pee Potty Trained But Won't Poop In The Toilet? Why, And How Do You Fix It?

Potty training is a big milestone — not only for children, but for parents too! It's safe to say that stools become progressively less palatable as your little one's diet grows more varied, and you'll feel quite happy once you no longer have to change diapers. The actual process of potty training, though? Well, sometimes it's easy. Some parents encounter head-scratchers on the road there, though.

Why might a child refuse to poop in the potty?

Research shows that only four percent of toddlers are completely toilet trained — defined as not needing diapers during the day time — by age two. Just over a fifth have made this milestone by the time they're two and a half years old, and 88 percent are toilet trained by three and a half. Another four percent of outliers sit at the other end of the spectrum, still not being toileted trained by age four. Boys and those with younger siblings are more likely to become potty trained later. 

It's fascinating, meanwhile, to note that this didn't necessarily mean the toddlers would defecate in their underpants (which they were wearing). Rather, 85 percent of these "stool refusers" would ask for a diaper so they could poop in it, or wait until they were put in a diaper for naps or bedtime. Those who did soil their underpants actually waited until it was more convenient. That is, they didn't do so while out or about or at daycare, but at home. 

This all indicates that the toddlers in question were quite aware of their elimination needs — they knew when they needed to go and could hold it in. (Which is one of the most crucial signs of potty training readiness, of course!)

The frustrating bit is that the study didn't manage to get any answers as to why this happens, except that it was associated with having younger (infant) siblings. No tips on getting a child to poop in the potty effectively emerged. 

When should you talk to your pediatrician about your child's refusal to poop in the potty?

You can consult your pediatrician about potty training at any time — they might have useful tips. You should, however, talk to them about this if your child still isn't going in the potty or toilet at age four, in which case there may be underlying psychological or medical issues. You should also let your pediatrician know if your child holds their poop in for long periods of time. This can, over time, lead to constipation, which can have its own medical complications. 

What can you do to get your child to poop in the potty?

Instead, you can try to:

• Remind your child to go potty at regular intervals. 
• Offer rewards, such as stickers, when a poop goes in the potty or toilet. Compliment them on how big and independent they are by being able to do this.
• Talk about how poop goes in the potty, even mentioning how you just had a bowel movement and flushed it away.
• Dispose of stool in diapers into the toilet, with your child watching. Say that that is where poop goes, and wave the stool away together as it goes down. 
• You can also, according to one study, explain that your child can wear underwear when they are completely potty trained — and return them to diapers full-time in the meanwhile. Apparently, the majority of kids, perhaps wanting to be big girls and boys by wearing underpants, start pooping in the potty soon after. 

If you haven't yet started potty training but are preparing yourself, you should also be aware that starting earlier isn't associated with a higher risk of refusal to poop in the potty, or with constipation — but the process is likely to take significantly longer. Research has found no benefit to starting the toilet training process before 27 months of age. 

You may, however, want to avoid starting during a big transition such as the arrival of a new sibling or moving house. Since having a younger sibling is a predictor of potty problems, some parents will initiate the process during pregnancy. 

A word of encouragement

Potty training issues can be frustrating for parents of toddlers. It is a good idea to talk to your child's pediatrician to rule underlying problems out, and if they're not present, well, let me put it this way. One of my kids didn't master pooping in the potty for quite some time after they were comfortable with peeing there. This is now a distant memory. It will become one for you, too, sooner than you think.