Why Do Women Fall For Bad Boys?

Does it seem like responsible and sensible women are always attracted to the proverbial “bad boy”?  Maybe it’s a psychological phenomenon or maybe it is fate, who really knows. We will explore the allure and myths about why women seem to be swooning over men who are not good for them.

Being attracted to a bad boy can almost feel like a drug to a woman. You know the type, the one that makes your heart race, the one you are afraid to tell your feelings too and who is emotionally unavailable. You can’t live with him and it seems you can’t live without him, but why?

Dark Triad Personality

Why do women find the proverbial “bad boy” irresistible? Although conventional wisdom maintains a woman should avoid men who say and do the right things with relative ease, they often cannot help themselves, but will find this man extremely attractive.  Research has determined that more men than women possess the Dark Triad personality.

The Dark Triad personality group has three known distinct traits and each one may be thought of as both anti-social and risky. A man who is affected with these traits will dismiss or disregard the feelings and sentiments of others. In addition these individuals will abuse and use people for their own purpose or benefit.

The mutual thread among those who possess the Dark Triad are a combination of insensitivity and manipulation. Insensitivity is an obvious and blatant indifference in regards to the feelings and wellbeing of other people. Manipulation involves coaxing that seems designed to help other people, while in reality it is not. When these characteristics are combined, it will lead a man to focus on hurting or harming others, both deliberately and aggressively.

The Dark Triad is related to certain ways of behaving like bullying or general aggression, as well as an unconcealed bias against stereotyped others. These stereotypes can include the following; those of a different race and/or culture, sexual orientation, sex, aptitude, age, etc.

Understanding Narcissism

Excessive self-love as well as in addition to an extremely high or obnoxious self-confidence, is a sign of true narcissism. A man may be an egotist due to the fact it distracts from his otherwise murkier dark triad persona. It is narcissism that achieves social acceptance in many situations, and it’s not uncommon for a women to be innately drawn to a man who exudes self-confidence.

See Also: Signs You May Be In An Abusive Relationship

A narcissist truly believes he is better than everyone else and it’s simply because they are who they are and they exist. This is almost likened to a God-complex. Naturally, this will rub off on other people and they believe a person loves themselves because they have a high value. This inflated belief of self-worth will lead to a fearlessness and an overabundance of courage. A true narcissist believes their own delusions and this individual can rationalize everything they say and do.

Understanding Machiavellianism

Machiavellians are socially and emotionally manipulative and tend to dehumanize and objectify other people to their own level, rather than valuing someone for their uniqueness. These individuals have a natural tendency to value things or people who benefit themselves. A person who is a highly skilled Machiavellian will manipulate themselves and become stoic in order to achieve the outcome they desire.

Machiavellian males are tactile and execute a majority of their social interactions like a game of chess or poker. The narcissism is their face for appearances and the physical representative for all of their manipulations. They think ahead of the game, use smoke and mirrors and distract a woman from the expected outcome.

Dark Triad males who are emotionally or physically abusive and have women pining for them, want to fulfill their own whims and are not above using multiple women to accomplish this. The very presence of a Dark Triad male is said to make women experience rushes of dopamine/serotonin/oxytocin and cortisol. It’s a cocktail of hormones and it causes a woman to become addicted to the male. The man of this nature who leaves a woman’s life will often cause withdrawal symptoms, much like a drug addict would feel when being without their drug of choice.

Understanding Psychopathy

Psychopathy is how a person’s brain connects to their behavior choices and a sense of remorse or guilt. These are the body’s essential way of morally provoking one to cease immoral activity. If a person didn’t feel guilt or discomfort at making immoral choices, the likelihood of committing immoral behavior would increase exponentially. Furthermore, if an individual received pleasure from immoral behaviors, that can act as a reinforcement of the bad behavior.

Psychopathy is defined in relation to the Dark Triad as the inherent ability for the person to show no aversion for immoral or harmful actions or behaviors. People who do not feel guilt or remorse for doing bad things have a mental health disorder. The lack of the ability to feel guilt or remorse as a consequence of personal choices is a great source of Dark Triad powers, the feeling of fearlessness. It’s because of the ability to ruthlessly exploit and manipulate, that women are addicted to men of this nature. Psychopathy is closely linked with Machiavellianism.

The constant highs and lows generate drama that some women thrive off of. However, when a man’s psychopathy rages out of control, it becomes illogical and separate from the Machiavellian aspect. Men who possess the Dark Triad personality are very powerful, addictive and harmful to themselves and others.

See Also: Another Kind Of Domestic Violence: Signs Of Emotional Abuse In Women

Break the Pattern

No relationship is ever ideal, but with certain men, a woman needs to watch herself and do what is needed to protect herself. A man who possess the Dark Triad personality is damaged, dangerous and addictive, but if a woman were to choose to pursue him, he will only wind up hurting her in the end. There’s no amount of therapy or counseling that will help this “bad boy”, so the best thing a woman can do in this situation is cut her losses and disassociate herself entirely.