I was a widow. After 9 years of marriage (the 2nd one for me) my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I met and fell in love with a widower. After 2 years of marriage (6 years together) his wife was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We met, dated for 2 years and were married. He and I both have children and step-children. My step son and I remain in contact but not 'close' He is married and I have a grandson by him. However, my husband has two step-children. A step-son and a step-daughter. The step-son and I seem to get along. He is easy going but lives several hours away. the step-daughter however lives close by. My husband has a grandson by her (not by blood, but certainly emotionally) I have tried to do what I can to simply be a friend. I want nothing more. I'm not trying to replace her mother or be any kind of a mother image to her. She is 35 years of age. For three years I have always addressed her when inviting her for a birthday dinner or the holidays. She NEVER replies to me but always to my husband. this year, I sent out an email to the family and asked them to join us for Thanksgiving. She never bothered to acknowledge me or the email. She texted my husband to tell him they would be here. She recently just had another baby boy. I went to the shower, we went to see the baby after he was born. I sat there for two hours. She handed the baby to my husband, she then nursed and handed him back to my husband. Finally, when her fiance got home he said "has she had a chance to hold him?" She didn't bother to ask me but asked my husband if we would watch the boys while she and her fiance went to Jamaica to get married in january. I work full time. 40 hours a week. She never considered how that would work for me. I just feel like quitting. I'm done trying. I'm sorry her mom died. I know what that is like. I have lost a child, a parent and a spouse so I'm no stranger to grief. But at every turn she simply acts like I'm not there. Its just so frustrating. I guess mostly it just hurts.