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Hey everyone just need some help. Normally I would make decesions on my own. And ultimately, whatever I choose to do, will be my own decesion, and no one elses. But advice would help. So any input you have would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

I am 20 years old. Never been pregnant before. I have been with my boyfriend, who is slightly older than me, for 4 months. We live together and everything has been going very well. We get a long great, we have little arguements but they are always resolved with good results. I love him very much and definitely see a possible marriage in the future. We both have good jobs. Steady full time jobs with full health benefits. Neither one of our jobs are in jeopardy in anyway. My boyfriend is expecting a big raise as well. We live in an apartment together. He isn't struggling financially in anyway. However, if I wasn't with him, and by myself, I would be struggling.

I've always wanted a child. From the time I was young I wanted to be a mother and a housewife. Call me old-fashioned but thats what I want. But I'm not sure if right now is the right time. I wanted to be married and with my partner for more than four months. Although he is a great guy and we love eachother, I'm scared. Who's to say he won't leave me, pregnant on the street. My father would be absolutely furious and I'm afraid he would disown me. My mother passed away last year, but I'm sure she would be very upset with me.

At first I had absolutely no questions about the abortion. Now I'm not very religious, but, when I took the two tests and they came out positive, I cried for hours. I cried to my mom and asked her what to do and to help me. After crying to my dead mother for an hour or so. I jumped on the computer to look up abortion clinics and my power went out, shutting off my computer. I shut the laptop and the power went right back on. Now I'm thinking... was that her?

Please help I need advice. Any advice would help. I'm a very strong person I've had to deal with a lot. And asking advice from strangers is something I'd never do, unless I was seriously lost. The decesion will be 100% percent mine. But any input, would be appreciated.


You are correct, the final decision will be yours, but.........this is what you always wanted. You have a good job with benefits, which is part of the battle. You are not a poor person, jobless, you have a good relationship with the daddy. Have you discussed this with him? Maybe you will be pleasantly surprised!!!

Women have babies everyday, single women at that. They go on to provide and love their children, with or without the father. You are an adult, and you made the decision to have unprotected sex knowing what the possible outcome could be. (unless your bc failed, sorry)
You are not a statistic, you don't fall into the category of a poor homeless pregnant women, you probably have no serious health issues, you have a home, your financially secure, you have health benefits, you two love each other, so what's the problem?

Your dad would not disown you, trust me, i was in your shoes many years ago and you would be surprised. It's not like your 16, your 20 and he would eventually get over it and accept his grandchild.
As far as bf goes, he will either love it or hate it, period. What is more important to you right now?
I had two abortions in my lifetime and each one of my daughters have had them as well, i can not and will not judge you as i have no right. Your conditions are fine to have this child. I was V-E-R-Y young the first time and living with an alcoholic grandmother, so i did it. The second time i had an affair on my husband, he had a vasectomy 2 years prior. I took it out on a baby. The marraige ended anyway years later.
Just don't be selfish right now like i was.

Just an FYI to keep in the back of your mind. If bf splits, you won't need to worry about how you will feed the baby, there is child support. I know you aren't thinking about that one right yet, but if your planning on keeping this baby, you must think about everything down the road.


I am about to have my second this Friday. I am 33 years old and had one when I was 18. I have a completely different outlook on the pro-life movement now. They make it out like every woman has so many options. Well I feel like I have none. I have spent the last month doing nothing but looking for resources to help. It's not like there are just people out there waiting to hand pregnant women money.

I was actually turned away by an adoption agency because I am about to have no where to live, and they cannot help me financially - or the propective family wanting to adopt - until I am 6 months or so along. That, and by state law, there is a cap on how much the family can give me as a "gift." Those lovey dovey television movies about deciding to adopt and someone coming along and taking care of everything for you are a bunch of c**p - at least in my experience. So for the time being, I would have to live on the streets or in a shelter. I cannot apply for help from the state until I am six months along.

I have no family support (my mother has told me how stupid I am) and the father could care less as well. I wake up each day thinking I am in a nightmare and hating myself more and more for letting this happen. I don't know if I can make it through another abortion (I had so much guilt and regret after the first one) but I personally don't feel like I have any other choice.

I only hope this one goes well medically, I do remember healing very quickly and feeling back to myself soon after the first one.


Your life style, tho sad, is different from hers. I do find it hard to believe that you can not get any help at all. Every day i read the newspaper and in the want ads are parents wanting to adopt. They will take care of all expences and provide monies to the expectant mom for her welfare. Some even offer to put mom in a living arrangement.

No, Social Services does not hand out money, you are correct. This is partly because so many people basically "steal" the governments money and really don't need it. Lying on applications to get government money is criminal, (i'm not saying you) now making it so hard for folks that are in dire straights to get just a tiny bit of help.

I was on welfare when i was going thru my first divorce, and it took me 98 days to get my first allowance. As i sat in the waiting room, my stomach would turn. Women prancing in with fake 9 inch nails, hair weaves and extensions, 6 kids in tow, jewelry hanging all over them, gold teeth and dressed to kill. Here i was wondering what i was going to feed my kids for supper that night. Then to top it all off, these candidates would drive away in a brand new Mercedes, (obviously not registered to them) this is why so many of us have to fight to get welfare.

I feel for you Guest, but i cleaned houses to make my ends meet. You have no baggage to worry about, no day care needed. I would scrub strangers toilets to pay my bills.
You have options. Look outside your area for adoption. Go to the news stand and get several newspaers from other places. There are many young married people who would love to help you and your baby. I read them everyday. Your probably "early" pregnant. Try to find a job. Clean hotel rooms, pump gas, cashier at a convenient store, apply at a car wash as the tips are great.

It sounds like you don't want to have an abortion. You don't have to. Please don't say you have no options. Don't take the lazy way out. Baby daddy might not give a c**p right now, but he'll stand at attention when Child Support dips into his wallet every month. If your mom/dad don't want anything to do with this, so be it. If mom calls you stupid, they are only words, which by the way should give you some added back bone.

How are you affording the abortion? If some kind of assistance is paying for it, you obviously have medicaid or something from the state. Why didn't you get on birth control, it's free!!!
So please, don't say you have no options. There are women in worse conditions than you that pull themselves up and take care of their business. I was one of them. Eviction notices lined up one after the other, my insurance on the car lapsed for non payment, my license was eventually suspended because of it, my electric was turned off, we used bar soap to wash our hair, newspaper to wipe our butts.........the list is endless. I finally stopped whining to anyone who would listen and slowly got my s*** together. The "poor me" had to stop as i was driving people away with my constant complaining. It wasn't long until i was buying shampoo again and eating a burger instead of peanut butter. I drove my car with a suspended license just to look for work. I was able to own and operate my own cleaning service, which lasted for 10 years (until my knees gave out)

So there my dear, there are a few choices for you. You can adopt if you want to, you can go to work and be financially secure, and the choice is your to abort (but you don't have to). I'm trying to help you here as it sounds like you just may want to be a mom. Think about it, screw the baby's dad, you can do this by yourself, i did.