After Abortion, alot of emotional pain, want baby back!

i had every idea held him till he died

I am 24 with 3 great kids and got pregnant again my boyfriend said he didn't want anymore and if i was going to have it i would be doing it alone and as you i didn't want to bring up four kids on my own, so i had abortion in November i was 17 weeks and i too regret it and cry and cry because i feel so guilty i wish i keep the baby so bad and it wont go away but then i think if i did and was doing all alone it would be hard as i have a 7 year old a 3 year old and a one year old .You have made the decision its been done so the only way you can try move on is by living your life with no regrets

im 6 weeks pregnant.. i have been with bf for 2 in a half years.. he has 2 beautiful kids but has terrible baby mama drama. i told him i was stopping my bc because emotionally i was ready. i wasnt intrapping him because he knew when i stopped. and he never brought condoms. once he even said i hope its a boy . and when u hear from the man that u love ( that he wants u to have his babies) after a few months of hearing it u believe him.. its not like we were f*****g.. i thought we were in a loving relationship. i told him i was pregnant. and now i feel like im being pressured into an abortion because hes doesnt want a baby right now.(his exact words) i feel so insulted and alone. i feel like i was lied to. i dont want to have my baby without his consent . i look for his consint in everything i do. i just want him to be happy. i know i probably / no wouldnt be able to live with myself if i did it. im so scared. i know i will regret it. and i keep telling him this.. and that i may hate him . and it will be the demise of our relationship , but hes still everynight asking me to do it.. i dont understnad how i already love my baby so much. life would be easier if abortion were illegal. this is a nightmare

This is the worst mistake of my life. I had an abortion this year January 2012. I knew it was wrong. Everything i did for was pure selfisness. Man if i could turn back the hands of time i would have not had it. Ladies if you are reading theis post and are thinking about it. Count all the cost. This is not an in/out procedrue. this is a life long emotional desion that will stay with you for the rest of your life. You and you alone will live this with this desion. the men will deal with it but they move on . We on the other hand are soo emotional tied to the baby( yes it is a baby no matter what the abort DR tell you) that we hurt. It is hurt like no other in this life. I hurt now. every bone in my body, soul and mind. If you are reading this post today and are pregnancy, dont do it. if you had one done, remember that God( Jesus Christ) has forgiven you and there are christan support groups for post abortion. Please go get the help and be free. It wil be less pain but you will be able to move on with your life. Remember that all of our bibes we abort are with Lord Jesus Christ.  May God forgivness be with us all. I love you you all. Psalm 34:5

I have not had an abortion but I have had an unplanned pregnancy. I was blessed to have a supportive husband and family and though there were great financial pressures that could have made us think of abortion, that was never an option. But having that unplanned pregnancy made me realize how ambivalent you can feel when pregnant and how if you aren't being loved and supported you can panic and make rash decisions like having an abortion, decisions that seem well thought out at the time but after they are done you realize it was the worst thing you could have done. So I feel for every one of you ladies who carries this burden. I have many friends who have had abortions and I have watched them cry with snot dripping out of their noses, wailing for their babies. Abortion hurts women. And it doesn't solve any problem. It makes things worse. I had a friend who was going to abort several years ago and I talked her out of it. Today her daughter is just so beautiful and precious and she thanks me all the time for talking her out of aborting. All the problems she had that made her want to abort no longer exist. If anyone is pregnant and considering abortion please remember this: problems are temporary but abortion is forever. You cannot undo abortion. You will never get that baby back. If you are pregnant and need help there is real help available! I used to volunteer at Birthright. You can find them all over the US and Canada. Look in a phonebook or google "abortion alternatives". Many of these crisis pregnancy centers can give you free ultrasounds so you can see your baby really is formed at only a month or two along (I've had 2 babies and I've seen both my sons early. The first was at 5 weeks  post conception and he already had a head, orbits of the eyes, arms, legs and a beating heart. My second son I saw at 8 weeks post conception and he was fully formed and twirling around and rubbing his face with his hand. He still does that to this day when he is tired and wants to sleep.)These centers will give you formula, diapers, maternity clothes, baby clothes and they can help you find housing, free medical care, jobs etc.. They will do whatever it takes to assist you in giving life to your child. I am pro-life but I needed help my last pregnancy and they helped me too. They are just wonderful. They don't receive any tax dollars. Everything they give you is 100% donations. They donate their time and money because they love women and want to help you. Please don't feel that abortion is your only option. There is so much help available out there. Finally, if you are suffering from abortion regret, may I please recommend Rachel's Vineyard? One of my friends who had an abortion 22 years ago and still grieves for her aborted daughter, is a facilitator with Rachel's Vineyard and also works for Silent No More which is made up of women who regret their abortions. You are not alone in your grief and regret unfortunately. There are millions of you out there. A silent, suffering sisterhood. It breaks my heart because abortion is so political and no one wants to admit to women that ABORTION HURTS. But please don't harm yourselves or think you can't find healing because you can. You can heal. There are people who want to help you. You will never forget your babies nor should you. They are your children. We don't forget our children, living or dead. We are moms. I honor the short lives of your babies and I am so thankful you all shared your stories. God bless. 

I had an abortion 2 years ago because I was 20 and my boyfriend was a meth user and was in and out of prison. I didn't want my baby to grow up without a father and I was not ready at such a young age. I couldn't decide what to do one day would be keep the baby...the next day would be abort the baby...and then the next day would be put him/her up for adoption. I was so lost and confused. 

Right after my abortion I was locked up in a psych-ward because I had a nervous break down and went into a psychotic episode. Making this decision was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my entire life. 

I cant be around babies or pregnant women without wanting to cry. My baby would be 2 years old right now and if I see a little toddler walking around I will ask the mom how old her baby is and if she says the baby is 2 I will stare at it and think to myself that would be the age of my baby right now and wish I never did what I had done. 

 

There is not a day that goes by that I dont think of my baby. I also have dreams about being pregnant and having a child around the time of my abortion (which is now).

 

I would give up my life to bring that baby back into this world. 

I'm twenty one. Had an abortion about two months after I turned nineteen. The baby would have been born in March the following year. I was at seven weeks. Was not using birth control. Had sex this way for two years with my boyfriend, and never had repercussions. I am so so so stupid. I always said this would never happen to me. I found out when I was a week late, and throwing up every morning. Made decision immediately. Shitty job, boyfriend had no job, living with his parents. First place I went, they tried to talk me out of it. Showed me pictures, told me horror stories, tried to offer counseling. I couldn't take it. Freaked out, left screaming and crying. Had to wait another week, drove elsewhere. Protesters outside the clinic, praying with their bibles clutched. Yelling at me as I walked in. A security guard out front. SO many people in the waiting room. Young girls... Pregnancy test. Positive. Ultrasound....no I don't want to see it....Consent form. Birth control prescription. Put this pad in your underwear. Lay down, cold table. Stirrups. Vacuum in corner. Poster on the ceiling. Nature scene with "words of hope." IV, supposed to knock me out. It didn't. Blurred everything, I felt everything. Cold, pain, crying, squirming. A nurse held my hand. Pain, pain, pain, vacuum noise. Done. Underwear on. Dark room with cold chairs. Crying crying crying. Back door. Boyfriend car. Drive home. Laid down. Crying....crying....crying. Period has never been regular. Every time I am off, I panic. Two days late right now. Pain is still fresh in my mind. Panicking...

Hey I kno this happened awhile ago but I recently had to go they it about 2 months ago and I feel the same exact way I am so sad and can't stop thinking about it the more I try to convince myself I did the right the worse I feel idk what to do Idk how to feel anymore and I really don't kno what to do to make me feel better or think better about the situation are u feeling better how long till u felt better.. I hate feeling like this ;(

I know lots of people have reply to this and it is nice to know there are others out there going through the same thing. I was 17 weeks along and i wanted to keep it. My boyfriend and i just got an apartment together and we relized the expences would be too much with a child coming into the mix. We then agreed to an abortion. I got it done just under a week ago. I found myself thinking i was still pregnant and getting really upset that i no longer am. At night the first 2 nights i slept with my hand on my belly. I really am thankful to read your stories and all the replies.It has made me not feel so alone. Thank you:-)

My boyfriend got me pregnant, I am 46 and think I just wasted my last egg on him. He told me he didn't want the baby that he wasn't in a financial position that it would take all his retirement. I had the iud before but it fell out and he knew that.  He used a condom but in the middle of the night he took it off therefore I got pregnant. I aborted 6 weeks later. He broke up with me and said he was still in love with his old girlfried.  He hasn't paid me one cent for half of the costs of the abortion.  He moved twice and now I was told through a friend that he has moved on. I emailed him a few times and he said if you don't stop bothering I am gonna call the police.  He's a coward and a theif. I am so sad , it's hard to do my daily routines and have lost 8 lbs and my skin broke out because of it.  Don't know how to get to him to pay for it. 

Well ladies i don't know where to start with mine!!! 

I have three fab kids one of 12, one of 4 and one of 3. I seperated with thier dad over two and a half years a go. After around 6m i started dating a guy and we were getting on fantastic.  

But situations out side of the relationship were hard. Mooved country, couldn't find anywhere to live etc. then went away on holiday and got pregnant again. 

I was five weeks when i found out, and disscussed it with my man. He didn't want the baby and i didn't want to bring up the new one and the others alone. So aborted at 6w  just under 9mths ago. 

At the time i didn't grieve because i had so many other things to think about. But then all of a sudden i when bat crazy, got drunk and cheated on my boyfriend. So we broke up!!! 

It was like a sledge hammer in the gut and hart. Not only dealing with what i did to my boyfriend but also all of a sudden feeling totally guilty, ashamed, and ill with longing for the baby and we all could of had. 

I regret it all so much, and i should off known better.

for all most four weeks i cried, longed to be pregnant was even having physical symptoms of being pregnant because i wanted to be so badly. 

So got of my bs got a councillor, changed my hair, my reutine started studying agian. doing more Excercise and getting out and about. it is working but now i am finding my self getting urges to buy baby stuff wich is odd!! I do still think off the baby or gloop as i should think of it. But not as much and i don't feel as horrible as before. But once or twice a day i think i should be preparing.

i think another few sessions with the councillor is needed.

and i would recommend the same to every one on here.

I have been very alone no support at all from boyfriend at the time or after, family didn't know. And i didn't realize just how much of a profound affect this can have.

Most clinics offer free counselling before and after. And it has helped me!!!  

 

I had a suction abortion about 7 weeks ago. I was exactly 7 weeks along. I already have 2 children. Me n my boyfriend have only been together for 8 months. We fight all the time he is always moving out and breaking up with me. We were both upset Igot pregnant. . I was so scared to be stuck with 3 children in a small trailor working 50 hrs at a gas station. We went and paid 400 dollars to have the suction abortion.there were protestors screaming to my boy friend to be a man that was his baby in me.. as soon as we walked in and paid he told me we were leaving. I thought he just had cold feet. I told him if we were more than 8 weeks Iwasnt going to do it.. Ihad the ultrasound I was seven weeks exactly. The baby was perfect great heart beat and beautiful already. Needless to say Iwent thru with it. I felt like he talked me into it then after being there all day he told me a real woman would raise 3 kids on her own and since Ichose to abort his baby Iwasnt a real woman.. itbroke my heart but Idid it anyway. There was no medication at all. I laid there and felt every little thing. They said the procedure would take 5 to 7 min. Well about 30 seconds into it Ihad a major panic attack and they had to stop for 20 minutes and wait until Icould handle it again. Right then Iregrettted it n they said it was too late they were already half way thru. As soon as it was over Iwas laying there and felt my stomache wasn't rright. It felt so empty scared the hell out of me.. Iwent home with birth control pills. I took them every single day at 10 pm and found out yesterday Iam indeed pregnant again. I promised myself if Ihad the abortion Iwould never have another baby. I felt it was wrong to do that then have another child. I have taken 3 tests and all positive. The thing is I'm so happy. Does that make me a bad person??? I feel awful that I'm so happy Ifeel like Ikilled an innocent child to have another one?? Why did this happen to me? What should Ido?? I will keep the baby no questions asked but I'm soo confused bc Ihave no positive family to tlk to about this plz help.

I aborted my baby yesterday I feel s

so bad 

Thank you for your message :)