I'm a sixteen year old girl and compared to a lot of my friends, I have very good parents. I have never been grounded (mostly because I've always been a good kid) and they never take away my stuff. They aren't strict at all and I can do whatever I want as long as I am not hurting myself or others. They always buy me things too.
All that being said, I never feel emotionally supported by them. My relationship is definitely better with my dad and he does comfort me on the very rare occasion that I cry. Note: this is still VERY rare. Whenever I'm in a fight and expect an emotional response from him I get nothing. Most of the time I don't even get a verbal response. This is very frustrating and often makes me feel crazy and too emotional. My dad IS easier to talk to and a lot more emotionally mature than my mom, though.
My mom, on the other hand is a lot more obvious with her emotional unavailability. She is constantly on her phone and whenever we hangout she does not listen to anything I have to say. We have no topics to discuss and often times have to just sit in silence. She often makes up for this by buying me stuff even though it is not at all what I want from her. Later, when I retrieve, she whines about how i am always in my room and shutting her out. This is somewhat true because after giving her so many chances I just gave up. There has even been a period of time where I really craved her affection but did not receive it and now I am almost repulsed by her touch. (This is something I realized very recently.) During arguments she often gaslights me and guilts me. She is very emotionally immature and often plays the victim.
Is it possible I am being way too dramatic about all of this? Am I selfish to complain about such things when I have objectively "good" parents? Am I just an insecure teenager seeking my parents' attention?
I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Hi, guest.
It is a very complex situation you are in. As I can see, your parents are hiding their emotions toward you which can be very irritating.
So, if you can talk with them (not separately but with both at the same time) and explain to them how you feel about their behavior, maybe you can make them open up to you.
Say to them everything you shared with us, that you are happy because you have parents as they are but you need just a little more emotions. Also, say to them that gifts aren't enough, that you need emotional support as well.
Good luck!