I always thought that "feeling pretty" was something reserved for vapid, egotistical people or very special occasions, like your wedding.
Recently, however, I was watching SNL and there was this sketch in which this pregnant woman was on an advice-type program and she was saying that she wasn't feeling pretty and asking about what she could do about it.
This struck me as very odd -- who would actually openly admit that they want to "feel pretty," and even more so when they are pregnant, which I thought was nine months of open acknowledgment that you're not gonna look good.
I did not have a religious upbringing or anything like that, but I don't think I've ever "felt pretty" in my entire life. I'm not "weird looking," but I always thought "feeling pretty" is something that is way too immodest and narcissistic and that you should be embarrassed and ashamed of.
Is it true, though? Are women really supposed to "feel pretty" most of the time, and not just at, like, their senior prom or something?
And how does one go about feeling that way?
Recently, however, I was watching SNL and there was this sketch in which this pregnant woman was on an advice-type program and she was saying that she wasn't feeling pretty and asking about what she could do about it.
This struck me as very odd -- who would actually openly admit that they want to "feel pretty," and even more so when they are pregnant, which I thought was nine months of open acknowledgment that you're not gonna look good.
I did not have a religious upbringing or anything like that, but I don't think I've ever "felt pretty" in my entire life. I'm not "weird looking," but I always thought "feeling pretty" is something that is way too immodest and narcissistic and that you should be embarrassed and ashamed of.
Is it true, though? Are women really supposed to "feel pretty" most of the time, and not just at, like, their senior prom or something?
And how does one go about feeling that way?
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Ha. Excellent post, and question. If you've escaped so far, I certainly wouldn't encourage you to start now. Some of the most beautiful people in the world are convinced they're ugly, or don't get the fuss. Michelle Pfeiffer thinks she looks like a duck, but the rest of the world (my generation at least) had her ranked #1 for smart, beautiful, characterful.
Then there are the women's women - the Meryl Streeps of the world - that guys have a problem with but women love: she's a great actress, but sexy?
There are cute women, smart women, bossy women, just about every kind of woman you can imagine: and pretty women are either a proposed but never made sequel to Julia Robert's debut, or the kind that Reese Witherspoon sends up in Legally Blonde, and those are the pretty women that are tolerable.
If you've managed to escape the media-led, magazine-fed, Sex in the City style frenzy for what women 'should' think, 'should' look like, 'should' spend their money on, congratulations - you're one in a million (or live on a farm in the midwest -maybe both; I'm uk, and somehow sensible women always seem to live out in the midwest, not much call for Prada on a farm).
So it was a real pleasure to read your post. And for the record, it's impossible to 'feel pretty', well, that might be an exageration: in the same way that you might 'know' you did everything right in a test, so the result is a foregone conclusion, a girl or woman that 'knows' shes' done everything righ with her looks, her dress, her makeup, her whatever, can probably 'feel pretty', aka: feel confident she's projecting the self-identity she wants to project: pretty.
From the sound of it, you're quite capable of projecting the identity: what's all the fuss.
That's cool, and just as compelling, if not more so: check out the sculptor (sculptress?) at the end of Castaway, or Kristen Scott Thomas, who projects call-me-pretty-and-I'll-douse-you-in-soda.
So, whatever it is you do project, I'd say it's pretty cool: but what do I know, I'm not a doctor.
Then there are the women's women - the Meryl Streeps of the world - that guys have a problem with but women love: she's a great actress, but sexy?
There are cute women, smart women, bossy women, just about every kind of woman you can imagine: and pretty women are either a proposed but never made sequel to Julia Robert's debut, or the kind that Reese Witherspoon sends up in Legally Blonde, and those are the pretty women that are tolerable.
If you've managed to escape the media-led, magazine-fed, Sex in the City style frenzy for what women 'should' think, 'should' look like, 'should' spend their money on, congratulations - you're one in a million (or live on a farm in the midwest -maybe both; I'm uk, and somehow sensible women always seem to live out in the midwest, not much call for Prada on a farm).
So it was a real pleasure to read your post. And for the record, it's impossible to 'feel pretty', well, that might be an exageration: in the same way that you might 'know' you did everything right in a test, so the result is a foregone conclusion, a girl or woman that 'knows' shes' done everything righ with her looks, her dress, her makeup, her whatever, can probably 'feel pretty', aka: feel confident she's projecting the self-identity she wants to project: pretty.
From the sound of it, you're quite capable of projecting the identity: what's all the fuss.
That's cool, and just as compelling, if not more so: check out the sculptor (sculptress?) at the end of Castaway, or Kristen Scott Thomas, who projects call-me-pretty-and-I'll-douse-you-in-soda.
So, whatever it is you do project, I'd say it's pretty cool: but what do I know, I'm not a doctor.
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Ahh...what a GREAT set of questions...here we are, ladies on this earth trying to be all we can be with tons of input from everyone around us. The media present certain ideas how a woman is to look, related probably to how many adverts and products they can sell. Religions/cultures around the world define how a woman is supposed to behave to be 'decent' and 'good', even going so far in some cases to dictate that we are supposed to dress a certain way. Women look at each other and feel better or worse about themselves because of how we all stack up next to these standards. Our mothers and fathers have certain ideas which they pass down to us, influencing us in positive and/or negative ways all the time, usually without our awareness at all.
IMHO, everyone is hot in their own way. Doesn't matter how your facial features are arranged, what brand of makeup you buy, the colour of your eyes/hair/skin, how much weight you feel you need to lose. If you can harness all that you are and all your talents and capacities, live with the truth of who you are and what you're capable of, and refuse to believe the standards and symbols all of us look to, you CAN feel pretty all the time.
I myself have been described as a sex symbol, though till recently I always thought I was not only nothing much to look at, but an ugly duckling.
Not being aware of or living in my own hotness has gotten me into trouble in various situations...really, not living in myself and all that entails is the basic problem I have had till very recently. When I don't accept the truth of what it means to be me, it always turns out to be a problem...and this includes innate hotness, which IMHO is not just how you look, this is just the first step. It is the entirety of who you are, which determines how you present in public. I myself have always had men and women trying to get my attention in various ways when I go out in public...and I'm even quite overweight right now, dress modestly, don't wear any makeup and don't flirt or seek out attention. It reduces a bit when I wear my wedding ring, but I hate wearing rings so sometimes I go out in public without the basic 'protection' it provides. Really, it is my attitude and demeanour towards those who try to show me they're interested in me that are the keys and I'm fairly certain that these add to my 'mystique'. It certainly encourages some people to 'try harder'...
I'm convinced that it isn't just because of the way my facial features are arranged...I carry myself with a lot of joy and love because I'm very much in love with myself, my life and my husband...and I always seek to find the truth behind the symbols of the world. This has to add to my perceived hotness, as I certainly feel happy with myself and accept all that I can about who I am. I think this is the heart of the matter - how do you feel about yourself? Are you happy with who you are right now? If not, why not change how you feel and accept yourself? If you don't, not only will you be less happy than if you changed your attitude toward yourself, it may even get you into trouble in your relationships. Regretfully, I have damaged my own life, lost friends and hurt people because of not being aware of who I am and how I affect people.
There is a series of books that can help you with this, if you want to take this inquiry to the next level:
The Four Agreements
The Voice of Knowledge
The Mastery of Love
The Fifth Agreement
by Miguel Ruiz (he may be listed as Don Miguel Ruiz)
You can also find him on Facebook - his page is really cool.
Happy trails and hope you go on this amazing journey to feeling pretty...100% of the time :-)
IMHO, everyone is hot in their own way. Doesn't matter how your facial features are arranged, what brand of makeup you buy, the colour of your eyes/hair/skin, how much weight you feel you need to lose. If you can harness all that you are and all your talents and capacities, live with the truth of who you are and what you're capable of, and refuse to believe the standards and symbols all of us look to, you CAN feel pretty all the time.
I myself have been described as a sex symbol, though till recently I always thought I was not only nothing much to look at, but an ugly duckling.
Not being aware of or living in my own hotness has gotten me into trouble in various situations...really, not living in myself and all that entails is the basic problem I have had till very recently. When I don't accept the truth of what it means to be me, it always turns out to be a problem...and this includes innate hotness, which IMHO is not just how you look, this is just the first step. It is the entirety of who you are, which determines how you present in public. I myself have always had men and women trying to get my attention in various ways when I go out in public...and I'm even quite overweight right now, dress modestly, don't wear any makeup and don't flirt or seek out attention. It reduces a bit when I wear my wedding ring, but I hate wearing rings so sometimes I go out in public without the basic 'protection' it provides. Really, it is my attitude and demeanour towards those who try to show me they're interested in me that are the keys and I'm fairly certain that these add to my 'mystique'. It certainly encourages some people to 'try harder'...
I'm convinced that it isn't just because of the way my facial features are arranged...I carry myself with a lot of joy and love because I'm very much in love with myself, my life and my husband...and I always seek to find the truth behind the symbols of the world. This has to add to my perceived hotness, as I certainly feel happy with myself and accept all that I can about who I am. I think this is the heart of the matter - how do you feel about yourself? Are you happy with who you are right now? If not, why not change how you feel and accept yourself? If you don't, not only will you be less happy than if you changed your attitude toward yourself, it may even get you into trouble in your relationships. Regretfully, I have damaged my own life, lost friends and hurt people because of not being aware of who I am and how I affect people.
There is a series of books that can help you with this, if you want to take this inquiry to the next level:
The Four Agreements
The Voice of Knowledge
The Mastery of Love
The Fifth Agreement
by Miguel Ruiz (he may be listed as Don Miguel Ruiz)
You can also find him on Facebook - his page is really cool.
Happy trails and hope you go on this amazing journey to feeling pretty...100% of the time :-)
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Try reading The Four Agreements that I listed in the above post - it will change your life!! You CAN love the way you look, but you have to discover why you don't love yourself now...it could be a big combo of things but if I could work through my feelings, you can too!!
Go for it!
Go for it!
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Feeling pretty is not just about your physical features.. Haven't you ever met somebody that was incredibly good looking until they opened their mouth? Or vice versa somebody you didn't think was super attractive until once you got to know them? Personality is everything! It is so important to be confident in who you are as a person and if somebody else doesn't think your pretty that just means they lack self confidence themselves. Feeling pretty does not mean your egotistical or a bad person it's judging others for their appearence that's wrong. If makeup or a certain outfit make you feel pretty then wear it but know it's what's on the inside that is projected onto others. As you get older you become more comfortable in your skin and feel beautiful no matter what. Just don't buy into Hollywood drama, it's so fake and no matter what you do or how much surgery you get you will age! It's just a fact of life, looks fade it's inevitable! Just be beautiful on the inside and that's something you'll never loose..... So feel pretty ALL THE TIME, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it!
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