Browse
Health Pages
Categories

At what age should a parent stop taking a child of the opposite gender into the same pool or water park locker room as themself? I ask because I have a daughter who will be 2 by summer. And we go to the pool and water parks alot. I'm male and if I were to take her alone, she would have to enter the men's locker room at the pool if I had to pee or something like that. Our pool sadly has no family changing rooms. So just men's and women's. The reason I'm alittle concerned is because of the few times I had dad's bring there daughters of varying ages into the locker room before I had kids. While myself and other men were naked and showering. I'll share a few stories with you all. 1. I was in the wide open locker room area. No rows, just a square shape with lockers around it. I'm naked drying off when a guy brings I 2 young girls. I'd guess between 3-5 years old. I was already naked so I finished drying off and got dressed. The whole time the girls were starting over at me. It was somewhat embarrassing, but I was where I was supposed to be. And the dad took his suit off to change along with them. So if he didn't care about his nudity. He must not care if they saw other guys as well. 2. I was walking to the shower area naked. And a young boy was walking in and fell. I hear his dad ask if he is ok. So all male no problem. Then I saw the dad was carrying a young girl maybe 3-4 and she was staring directly at my nakedness. Again, not my fault where I'm supposed to be.i went and showered awhile hoping they'd be gone and they were when I got to my locker. 3. This one is the one that really got me embarrassed and shocked. I went in the locker room to go pee. They have 2 stalls along the back wall. Then right info of the door to the right stall there are 2 urinals, no dividers. So anyone coming out of the stall gets a free look at anyone peeing. I took the farther away one, maybe 5 feet and pull my trunks down to my knees. Guys know wet trunks are horrible. I start peeing and the right stall toilet flushes. No problem, a guy will possibly see my penis. So what. But the door opens and an Oriental girl who looked like she had to be at least 10 steps out and freezes when she see my exposed penis. I'm still urinating so I can't cover up. Then an older gentleman comes out behind her to see why she stopped. He sees I'm exposed and peeing. And hurries her out of the locker room. Now to me that was way too old and just wrong. Her being that age and seeing me urinating makes me feel like i did something wrong. Even though I wasn't intentionally trying to show her my penis. So what age is too old for an opposite gender locker room??

Medical Researcher
31 posts

Interesting question. This is something I have dealt with as well, but as a mother with a son. I think the answer is culture-dependent to a very large extent, but the main consideration is — if you don't take your child into "your" locker room, can they do what people do in locker rooms by themselves? And stay safe too? As in, not get lost, not slip on wet tiles, that kind of thing? At age two, a child will need assistance and supervision.

I'll add that at least where we live, in the female locker rooms, nobody strips naked, not even to shower — they shower in bathing suits or bikinis and there are individual changing stalls. So my child being exposed to random female nudity wasn't an issue; it was more a question of, when does his presence become uncomfortable to the women who are also there? I think he was about six or seven before when he started using the male locker rooms by himself. 

In some places, there will also be family locker rooms.

Reply
Medical Researcher
31 posts

Also, rugs are Oriental; people are Asian :). 

Reply
Thanks for your response. And sadly for the men's locker rooms I've been in. They are just one big open rectangle changing area. So everyone can see everyone esle changing and naked at some point. Even the showers are like the old school gang showers, wide open and no privacy. And pools around here have strict rules about taking nude shower before you enter the pool. So if a dad has to bring his daughter into the locker room. It's almost inevitable that she will see at least one naked boy or guys penis. I don't have a problem with nudity. Ive had to change and pee in front of my daughter before when I'm shopping or at home and my wife is at work. It's just what a parent has to do. I just am uncomfortable being nude in front of someone else's daughter in a locker room. Since it just seems like I'm doing something wrong by her seeing me. And I don't want other dad's to get embarrassed or feel that way by me having her accidentally see them naked.

If you had a daughter, would you be mad if your husband took her into a men's locker room where she would most likely be able to see a naked boy or man's penis? Most likely multiple since pools tend to get very busy.

Again, thank you for the response. It's good to hear a female point of view.
Reply
Your answer is inappropriate. Your answer is rude, gross, and nasty. Grow up. Seek counseling.
Reply
"Seek counseling."? Are we getting a little worked up here? For that comment, we should lock you up in a big ultra-politically correct university.
Reply
Companion question for those men who think it is unacceptable for a little girl to be in a position to walk in on them when they are showering in the men's locker room; At what age would you be OK with sending your daughter unescorted into the woman's locker room, or wait outside while I did what I was in there to do? As soon she is out of diapers? As soon as she can dress herself? 4,5,6,7,8?
If a little girl walked in on me while I was showering, I would think to myself, "Her father knew she was at risk of this happening and decided it was safer than the alternative." and I would continue doing what I had started. Now, if I felt inclined to play with myself while showering, I would skip it for now.
Reply
You mentioned that with the rectangular room with lockers on the walls, there is no privacy. Ok, so you don't like that aspect of the locker room layout, but there is a good side to this too. There's no place for anybody to pull any funny stuff. I suspect that part of the reason a parent will take an opposite-sex child into the locker room is the fear that a child molester will get them if they go in by themselves. But the most important rule for a child molester is, "DON'T GET CAUGHT!" In a locker room where everyone sees everything everyone else else does, everyone has a very good reason to be on their best behavior. For this reason, I would not fear sending my opposite-sex kindergartener in alone if he or she had to shower and dress before or after our session in the pool. I'd feel uncomfortable, but not fearful. Too young to have used the school bathroom but old enough to recognize that the person next to them has some different body parts? Ah, ya, that's a shady zone.
Reply