Hi, all; I could use some help:
My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about 8 months now, but I haven't gotten off once. I have come to the realization over the years that I just cannot orgasm from sex alone, and I know that I have to cum by stimulating my clit. When I masturbate, I know that every time, an orgasm will happen. However, when my boyfriend tries to get me off my stimulating my clit, it has never happened. We have tried to exactly model what I do when I masturbate, but I just don't feel the same when he does it. I can feel myself building up, but it's like the orgasm will never happen. It's like he just never touches the right spot, which doesn't make sense because he is touching the same spots I touch when I masturbate and in the same ways. It usually starts out fine, but gets to a point where I have to instruct him on what to do and we just stop shortly after that because I feel like it's past the point of cumming. Usually it ends with me having a swollen and numb-feeling clit. I just don't know what to do at this point, and it makes things pretty frustrating.I have tried to masturbate during sex, but this has never worked either. It's like when I'm having sex, my clit just gets this numb feeling. Also, aside from this, I sometimes randomly feel these sharp pains in my clit area & above that area (which I guess would be my pelvic region). I have never heard of anyone else who experiences this. The pains happen at random times, sometimes during sexual activity, but it could happen when I am just sitting in a chair or at any random moment. They don't happen all the time, but maybe a few times a week I would say. No gynecologist I have been to has been able to give me an explanation for it.I really would like to have orgasms when I am with my boyfriend, and he tries so hard to do it but is growing doubtful about the situation. It sucks ending sex the same way every time, with one person finishing and the other left unsatisfied and wanting to finish. If anyone has any way they could help me, it would be GREATLY appreciated.
Hi, I have those sharp pains too! And It's because the clit part is a bit over-exposed, I get mine at the very tip of my clit&our it hurts SOO much! I wont even be touching it but the outside of it to find where it hurts& it is sooo painful! But anyway, it's just because the clit is rubbing off of something like your underwear& all you do is place it back in place, by lifting that skin flap or whatever its called that wraps around the clit& put a little pressure&force& push it towards the clit, it might help to use something damp. But I think i might have the answer for your sex issue, maybe since you have had sex so much, his penis is no longer big enough to satisfy you? OR maybe you should try a condom with more lubricate (: and they make sex toys, that have this viberating thing on it& when you have sex, he puts on his penis like a ring& its suppose to vibrate on your clit while you have sex (: So that might work :D?
What you could do is use hi stimulateing lube it shoud work better and maybe try to have your bf were a vibrating penis ring that may work to good luck!!!!
I know exactly how you feel. my boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about 8 months now. I realized that he could never really get me to orgasm, but I could always do it through masturbation. I also can not have an orgasm without my clit being stimulated.
I had that same exact feeling where you said how it starts out fine, and eventually the moment just passes and he never hits the spot. It gets to the point where you're instructing him how to do it and the feeling fades. I would get frustrated with myself and just really confused. It wasn't his fault, he was doing everything he could.
I think what was stopping me was that I lost the emotion and the whole purpose of us even having sex. I felt pressured to orgasm instead of letting it happen. I was trying to please him and it kept me from enjoying it and reaching orgasm. Having sex and having an orgasm for a girl can be a little more complicated and mental than a guy. I'm not saying this is your situation, this is just what i realized about myself when this happened. I have to be really in the mood with him.
When you're with youself, it's just you. There's no expectations from anyone else, and you're not trying to please anybody, there's no pressure or frustration to have an orgasm. Us ladies know our bodies better than anyone else. :)
Here's what I did and it changed my sex life horrendously!
1. Alot of foreplay!!!
2. Don't try so hard to have an orgasm, don't even think about it. Think about the feeling it's giving your body, grab yourself, encourage it, embrace it.
3. One of the things that i do when we're having sex isoth being during the penetration i would reach my hand and stimulate my own clit. Having both be done at the same time not even felt amazing to me and was able to orgasm, but it was a huge turn on for my boyfriend. He loves knowing that you want to feel good and that you're into it. Guys love when you touch yourself :)
4. Another thing we started doing is him wattching me masturbate. I love this because I have full control!! i know I can reach an orgasm when I'm masturbating, and it's a huge turn on for him to see it. You can even tease him like I do. I'll let him have his head down there but he's not aloud to touch, lick, or feel. HUGE tease for guys. Even seeing my boyfriend amped up and turned on and wanting to be all over you while teasing him is great :) You have full control over what's happening to your body, and also your boyfriend :)
Good Luck!! :)
When it comes to orgasms by intercourse alone, I totally agree...it can be hard (pun intended) to get off. I cum the most when there is a lot of foreplay prior to the sex. If you really want to build up the excitement, try making out/fondling/touching as long as possible before even taking any clothes off. Then peal off the layers one by one... it's actually more exciting and the anticipation of not getting what you want right away will make both of you more turned on. When clothes start coming off, don't jump into sex quite yet. Have him kiss, lick and touch every part of you EXCEPT your vag/clit. I think you will be pleased to realize that letting your body crave for touch in that one spot will make it even better when it happens. Next; try oral, fingering, toys, 69...everything you can think of before having sex. I think oral would help you a lot. The feeling is much more gentle on the clit than fingers are. When you finally do (have sex) at the end of all the foreplay and anticipation, it will be awesome :)
Exactly the same! (Minus the pubic area pains, so no idea what that is about). I figure my clot is just really specific in how it wants to be touched, when, with what pressure, rhythm etc. Like it changes so a partner couldn't learn to mimic a particular pattern. So annoying!
It happens to me so I wear loose shorts
I have the same exact problem except Ive been with my bf for 5 years! HELP
Teach yourself the rock and roll method to orgasm. Then tell your boyfriend to purchase the Expand Her Orgasm home study course so he knows the proper way to excite you and then bring you to orgasm. You will both have fun learning and feeling very good at the same time. We aren't natural born lovers. Porn isn't an education in sexuality. It's teaching girls and boys how to do it wrong. I'm a woman who used to feel numb when my husband touched me.
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