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Hey guys, not sure if anyone is on here or not. Just been detoxing of opiates and subs, I'm on day 4/5/2 I don't even know. I took my last sliver ( not my last one but ) a sliver on Sunday morning. I didn't take anything for 3 days and my 'hookup" called me and asked if I wanted to buy some, I broke down and bought some and took another sliver on day 4 and that was yesterday. Ive been exercising like crazy. Even when I feel like I cant move, I make myself get up and start exercising. Ive already drank a 24 case of water and been taking b12 as well. I haven't taken any today and I don't want to either. Also Ive been an addict my whole life, switching from one drug to the next. I lost my job as a bartender and been job less for a month now. I know I need to stay clean to get a job, My gf lives with me and right now shes making my car payments, paying my bills and I feel so bad for her. She is sticking with me and I love her to death for that. I just don't know how long I can keep putting her thru this. My emotions are a wreck , sex life went to hell and gained like 20 pounds from the subs lol sounds like a poor guys country song lol Well not sure if anyone is even still on here but I am and hope all is doing better then me!!

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sorry to hear that.. my advise is you need to really start thinking of your life and how your dessions affect others around you.. but before you can take care of yourself or tryna get your job you need to get clean and sober. you need support groups and go to meetings.. get a sponser who you can trust and allow yourself to be held accountable but you need to be in this 100% and honesty is very important admiting you have a problem is the first step and what you do after to get help will be the determination of your life. you have to get clean first and cut off all contact with anyone who uses even family. its gonna be hard as hell but you have to do it and if the people you cut off cant understand then they dont care as much as they say because anyone that loves you will do anything for your well being. and your one of the lucky ones having your gf there helping you out is amazing and you should not put her through any of this get help for yourself and so one day you can take care of her.. not alot of people will be willing to stand by when you fall and be willing to pick up the pieces.. i know all this sounds really hard but iits up to you if you want the help... and its doable. i know from experience sadly to say i went and put my fam through hell before i hit rock bottom lossing my job and friends was just the start i lost everyone the respect and trust went down the drain. i was using meth and i lost my children because of it to cps. i was out of there lives for 2 years i hit rock bottom attempted suicide but that day i must say god was with me god put somone in my life who help save me... and after fighting my addiction i got my children back but it was hard work i went trhough programs and classes got a sponser i had to build a support team and be accountable telling on myself because if i was left to my own devices god knows me and i couldnt do this alone. i had to submit myself to being told what to do and how to do it and because of my subbisive i was able to complete what i needed to dont get me wrong i fought with it and had relapses but it made me try that much harder and i felt the disapointment of what my actions led me to fall. today i am 3 years clean and sober and i still struggle i am weary of going to certain places where i know ill find myself confronted with my worst enemy "meth" which once was my best friend i hold on to my sobriety very close because if i fall i let my family fall now im left with the after math of it all the pain i caused my loved ones the trust is slowly being gained by hard work and the memories of my children who had to learn me over as a new mom but even with all the pain i went trough i dont regret it because today i can say im proud of myself i love who i am and love what i went trough because im a better person and any chance i get i will help others any way i can .... every day is a new day and keep fighting just because you used today dont mean you have to tommorow...

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