I’m a 38 year old gay male and I’ve been dating this 45 y.o. guy for 2 months on April 5th. We met on a popular social networking site for men. We’ve recently started having a few issues – which I raised concerns about. The first is the fact that his profile is still online but I’ve taken mine down as I thought it would create problems. I guess it’s not a huge deal but I’ve expressed my feelings about how it somewhat bothers me that he’s appearing single and hasn’t updated the profile to say he’s dating someone. He says he likes being with and doing things with me so I’m not exactly sure how to deal with this conflict. Am I over-reacting as it’s only been 2 months?
Second, he masturbates 1-2 times a day and he did tell me he’s always turned on (so am I). The masturbation part is a huge concern for me. I explained to him that it makes me feel unwanted and neglected sexually and it happened in my past. He’s already denied me twice for sex. We’ve only had “penetration” sex twice but have done “other stuff”. He also has porn on his computer and said he’s not getting rid of it. I told him I’ll have sex with him whenever he wanted to as we only live 20-25 minutes apart. He said that he doesn’t want me to drive all the way there to do something he can take care of in 5 minutes. I told him that’s fine and dandy but the issue arise when we get together and I can’t get any because he’s already “take care” of himself. From my POV, it’s not right and it’s unfair. Should I be overly concerned? I don’t know if this is something I can bend on.
I’ve really grown attached to this guy in a short amount of time and I would like to continue seeing him. We both had a cry fest earlier in the week because of some of the issues we’re having. The issue he has with me is that he really likes me but don’t want to hurt me and feels he can’t live up to the person I want him to be. I don’t recall telling him I wanted him to be a certain way but I did tell him I want someone who’s loyal and trustworthy and gonna be into me as much as I’m into them. That’s when he told he’s not at the point where I am. I told him we should sit down and have a heart to heart about everything. Is it too early for this kinda talk?
Thanks for your advice,
Ryan
Second, he masturbates 1-2 times a day and he did tell me he’s always turned on (so am I). The masturbation part is a huge concern for me. I explained to him that it makes me feel unwanted and neglected sexually and it happened in my past. He’s already denied me twice for sex. We’ve only had “penetration” sex twice but have done “other stuff”. He also has porn on his computer and said he’s not getting rid of it. I told him I’ll have sex with him whenever he wanted to as we only live 20-25 minutes apart. He said that he doesn’t want me to drive all the way there to do something he can take care of in 5 minutes. I told him that’s fine and dandy but the issue arise when we get together and I can’t get any because he’s already “take care” of himself. From my POV, it’s not right and it’s unfair. Should I be overly concerned? I don’t know if this is something I can bend on.
I’ve really grown attached to this guy in a short amount of time and I would like to continue seeing him. We both had a cry fest earlier in the week because of some of the issues we’re having. The issue he has with me is that he really likes me but don’t want to hurt me and feels he can’t live up to the person I want him to be. I don’t recall telling him I wanted him to be a certain way but I did tell him I want someone who’s loyal and trustworthy and gonna be into me as much as I’m into them. That’s when he told he’s not at the point where I am. I told him we should sit down and have a heart to heart about everything. Is it too early for this kinda talk?
Thanks for your advice,
Ryan