Divorce because of husband's computer games addiction

I am married. We have 2 children Carter (2) Hailey (6 wks). My husband is a war veteran and currently enlisted in the army. For over a year We have walked a thin line towards divorce because of his gaming addiction. One night I had the flu and asked him to take our new born daughter and he let her cry and cry for food because he couldn't put down the controller. He stays up all night playing goes to work comes home and sleeps until the evening when he gets to get up and play through the night again. He doesn't remember any conversations because he's occupied in a game. I've researched and research and came to the conclusion that there is no real cute. You're either worth them quitting or you're not. unfortunerly they are numb to reality and you can't be stuck in the inbetween. Good luck

Same here as well. I knew my husband loved video games when we were dating. I did too we bonded over it. We even worked at separate gamestops right after highschool. When we moved in together I noticed he played more than I thought. It's put of control. He lost his job months ago because he kept coming in late because he out slept his alarm after gaming all night before. He hasn't even tried to find a new job since and we have a 7 month old daughter. I'm struggling with bills because I'm the only one working and he keeps suggesting I get a second job and sell my car for rent money and utility bills. He spends around 18 hours playing games in a single sitting. I don't know how much more of this I can take. He literally plays from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed. I'm frightened that he isn't taking care of our child the way he needs to when I'm at work. Our baby seems happy and her diaper is freshly changed before I get home and she's recently fed before I walk through the door but he is constantly playing. He rarely acknowledges me. I usually sleep alone. He has fits when he has to be dragged away from the games and it's all he talks about when he isn't playing. I'm miserable. I've told him this and he hasn't done anything to change his ways. It's gotten to a point where I feel empty inside. Tired. I have been thinking about filing for divorce. I even fantasize about the idea of having an affair (though I've never cheated and never could. I would feel too guilty. I still imagine it. Even during sex I think about other men.) I'm lonely and stressed and I am drowng in this cruel joke we call our marriage.

You are not alone. Many of us are suffering alongside you. Like you I am living through this situation and feel the same way. The friends I have told about this are supportive but they are not living through this on a 24x7 basis. Like you and the 30 other people following this thread I am ignored for a game. We have so much more to say than can be said in a short post. We’ve tried threats, tears and so much more. We’ve feel hollow and alone. Our partners get support every hour of the day in the games they play and we need the same.

If you or anyone following this thread would like to have a forum to share experiences, stories and your plans for the future or simply message with people who are going through the same thing right now please reply to this post and I’ll set it up.

Hi Ladies (and some gentlemen),

I've been through such turmoil with my daughters father because of this game...I blame the fact that I was arguing and fighting so much during my pregnancy 7 years ago that our daughter was born 3 months early...like many of you I have constant thoughts of ending the relationship. There are things that are not done aroubd the house because of this game you can't carry an adult conversation with him unless he is talking about the game....the reason I have not left is because I put my foot down and when he saw I was dead serious about leaving he stopped for a little while...during that time (Imo) we had a very nice time...but little did I know he was miserable, I was going to the gym he kept changing his mind about the gyms he would join and go maybe 1 or 3 time the most...he saw how I felt good about myself and would encourage it but he himself would not go...and was acting erradict and depressed....we get into MANY arguments because of this game and the fact that I feel that as a woman if a man does not give her enough attention she's going to seek for it else where...well when he thought that was happening he stopped playing again...and now he's back at it and I'm back to the same frame of mind is a vicious circle is sad and sometimes I feel like this game is destroying the family he does not know how to interact with his children is like he's a child himself I don't need a man child! I'm not an unattractive woman he's very well aware that I get a lot of attention from other men he gets jealous from time to time but not enough to put a ring on my finger after being together 15 years!!! I'm about to be 35 and he's turning 40 in a week....I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet because I'm concerned about our daughter and how this may affect her psychologically...but at the same time this is not conducive to a healthy relationship and I want out! I want to sue that freaking created this game because it's destroying families and is creating havoc in a lot of plps life.

Not sure where I ranked on the addiction to Clash of Clans leaderboard, but Last week I pressed the wobbly button, removed it from my iPad, and don't miss it at all. For the sake of anyone discussing this issue with partner, I was nearly maxed th9 - 200 Lego walls and 50 with flowing gold, all maxed defences, troops and spells. I was in champions league picking up a nice fat bonus every time I raided, but using big armies - level 4 golems, valks etc. so not raiding back to back. I had a couple of discarded iTunes vouchers lying on bedroom floor/ in bedroom bin. I feel like my brain has been freed from an invisible grip now. When I wake up I can think about the day ahead instead of reaching for the iPad, collecting mines, and then scrolling through scores of boring town halls with the irritating cloud wait in between each one. I won't slag off clash of clans because it is a brilliant game, but I have tried so many ways to enjoy it in moderation, and I guess my personality doesn't sit easily with that. I would rather channel the addictive elements of my personality into getting better at my job. Please be cautious when well meaning contributors assure you that all is hopeless and the only solution is divorce - every person is different and no genuine expert would try to make hard and fast predictions about a person's future on the basis of one post by a worried partner.

God bless you and what you love dearly!! I agree with you. I was bashed (a little) for suggesting channelling that anger and crushing the MACHINES! But once the death grip over my husband was broken I got him back again. I do not have to compete with a piece of equipment so easily sabotoged!! lol We have had to work at things to reconnect and I to play MY part as well! good luck, enjoy the sunshine!!

I was married for 32 years to a gaming addict. He is divorcing me because he feels so guilty and cannot stop...He would play for entire days at a stretch. He would not talk to his family for days. It ruined our lives

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I feel like we are on the same path. Best of luck.

Omg.. I thought I was the only one.. Gues not..my partner has been addicted to destiny ( ps4 game) it's been 2 years now and it's just getting worse to a point where he's playing all night and calling in sick at work just to rest and then play again.. He's drinking red bull like crazy and smoking and playing that's all he does.. He tells me that he loves me like crazy and we're planning on getting married this December.. I feel like he proposed just to buy more time so I don't moan.. We have no communication that's not neccasarry.. I'm so frustrated.. I love him so much but keep getting let down.. I'm always third wheeling it with his brother and gf because he's too busy resting to play all night or playing.. I'm sick and tired of asking him.. Will this ever change? I don't want to wait/ waste years for a change? Please help

I will not change as long as there is a ps4....

You hit the nail on the head! I have been feeling this way for a few years. I have talked to my husband about it. He acts like he will change and just goes right back.

I've heard it all - the O my thing worse than what they're doing is showing us false hope.. They create an expectation and then destroy it!!!!!

I am frustrated with this game.

What became of your marriage?

The game draws them in, slowly the addiction rises. Creeping into their veins like heroin, soothing the beast inside. Eventually the need for more and more dopamine cases the beast to cry. Even more interesting is the paralysis the partner feels. They know now they love their machine more than them. They cry for the attention they seek, they whisper their need for love again. They yell, they beg, they plead. Still they are afraid to compete. They will not touch their precious machine. RISE UP I SAY, RISE UP AGAINST THE MACHINE. Break the bond it has and UNPLUG that God d**m thing!! It is not heroin, it is not love, it is a stupid machine!!! Take that which is yours back again. Be brave enough to BREAK your partner free.