Excuse me but I do everything I can for my husband I cook clean do all the washing ironing even pick up his dirty socks every morning cause he can't be bothered too and I'm always there when he needs me.
Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
The best advice I can give would be to seek help. There are not many programs for video game addiction itself, and that is incredibly unfortunate. Help can be found in unlikely places though. My wife started to go to Al-anon meetings. At first it was to cope with her alcoholic family members, but then she realized I shared the same traits as an alcoholic. The best part is, it's anonymous. You don't have to tell them the nature of your spouse' wrongs. It's for people coping with their love of an addict, people they care about who are destroying themselves and those around them.
It is a national program with meetings held in all 50 states. They were there originally to support family members of alchoholics, but the true nature of the program is to focus on oneself, and how to live with someone having an addiction.
To be honest, if your goal truly is to help your husband, you cannot do that until you help yourself.
"But I'm not the one with the problem! It's him! I feel unappreciated, I feel like he spends time with me begrudgingly, that he avoids responsibilities! Why should I be the one to seek out help?"
Because it takes two to tango. First thing. It's NOT YOUR FAULT and it's NOT PERSONAL. Just because he doesn't show it, your husband loves you. It's a compulsion, a mental function that cannot be stopped until one accepts they have a problem.
Ladies, don't give up. I can't sit here and say that all addicts are crying out for help, because that's simply untrue. But the first step towards helping your spouse, is first learning to accept that your spouse is an addict and to practice serenity.
My wife had to put a lot of time and effort into "waking" me up, and I don't mean to say she's better than anyone here, because she isn't. And it's NOT FAIR! She shouldn't have had to do that! I was the one with the problem, I was emotionally distant and neglectful!
She too felt a sense of helplessness. I would rather play games than go out on social occasions. I would say "Just one more round" all the time, and kept playing. I would only spend time with her begrudgingly.
What it took was my wife continually communicating to me her feelings, about how she felt alone. She felt unloved, unwanted. She felt unimportant. And going to meetings made her realize that I don't PREFER to play video games over spending time with her, but that I couldn't stop.
You can't make your husband stop, and to try will only make him pull further away from you. Accusing him of having a problem makes him defensive, and he will lash back at you. Trust me, we're good at rationalizing our addiction.
Practice non-violent communication. I FEEL LIKE, not YOU MAKE ME FEEL. example:
"I feel it's hard for me to ask you to stop playing games to spend time with me because I feel like you don't want to be around me. I feel alone, I know you're physically here, but you're not here with me emotionally."
You may get attacked verbally, he may try to placate you, but change can only come from within. You will NOT make him stop. Impossible. He has to come to the realization that he has a problem, that it's hurting his best friend, and his world.
When my wife told me she felt alone. When she told me she felt unimportant, and unloved, it crushed me. I never ever want her to feel that way. And her steadily, calmly, and patiently letting me come to accept my addiction is what really woke me up to the fact that I WAS acting like a child.
Make no mistake, she was ANGRY. SO ANGRY. We fought, we screamed. And then we asked "Why?" The first Narcotics Anonymous meeting I went to (There aren't any gaming addiction meetings where I am) I sobbed like a child. And it was embarrassing, shameful. But I wasn't alone in addiction.
Go to meetings, talk to other sufferers who share your pain from an addicted loved one. You'd be surprised at the wisdom, and the love that comes from the strangers you meet there. You don't have to talk, you can listen. You only need to speak your first name, and there are no other requirements.
But practice serenity. Im not religious, but this actually did help me once I got past the word GOD and made it a version of a higher power for myself. "Good Orderly Direction"
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Good luck ladies and gents. Never give up. He/She still loves you.
-Justin
Loading...
Crock of sh*t ive had it why the f**k should i go to meetings when hes the one with the problem his kids get no response when saying good night dad cos hes giggling away to some other bint on a online fantasy game paying real money for pretend stuff worlds gone mad grammar police do one
Loading...
Really man @ grape slushies are amazing. This is a post about our husbands being more addicted to their gaming than they are at being a husband and father. I've been married for 5 years, my two children aren't his ( two kids, my son is 18 with autism spectrum disorder, and a beautiful 13 year old daughter who's father and my husband passed away when she was 4). I stayed single for a long time. My children and I were settled, happy and had our home almost paid off, all on my own. I was not even looking for anyone, my best friend at the time without my consent, set up a surprise blind date. We hit it off from the beginning. He was attentive to me and my children, never played video games , worked etc. Dated for two years and we married. As soon as I do's were said he did a 360. After a year of marriage, he flipped and lost his job, now all he does Day in and out is play Black Ops, sleep all day. Doesn't clean, cook, absolutely nothing!!!!!! I've dealt with this for 4 years, tried many times to talk to him. I always get the same lines , I will change baby, I will do whatever it takes, blah blah blah. Same c**p, different day. I've already had my consultation with my lawyer because I learned not only does he have a game addiction, but also a drug (meth) addiction and a serious porn addiction. Now the porn addiction put the topping on the cake because I found photos he had taken of strange women he doesn't know, just snapped them while out in public, even on our own freaking honeymoon cruise he was taking photos of other women. He has more photos of other women and porn on his phone than he does of me and the kids and we are supposedly everything to him, ha! What a load of B.S. Ladies, do what you need to do for your happiness and your children's. The men aren't going to change unless they absolutely want to. So let them marry their games, let their games cook and clean for them. Let's see that game go work their little butts off to support them and take care of everything we do. My husbands free ride is over. My kids couldn't be happier with my decision, as they don't want a man in our lives if he isn't going to be 100% in it and an actual father and husband. So good luck to all of you I wish you all the best. This lady is going to take back her happiness and leave this id**t in the dust. We deserve better and refuse to settle for anything less. I don't care if I am single for the rest of my life, at least we won't come second to a game. My kids and I will come first or it's BYE FELICIA!!!
Loading...
Loading...
Well I a gamer and I want to tell you that he would not stop gaming just make him play less and spend more time with him
Loading...