It is this area where Mr Poky and I disagree the most.
HELL NO.
Again, it's a matter of timing here. i'm with them the most so i wield the stick.
i really hate when :twocents: may be thrown in from left field at times
If we are home together then whomever answers up to the DAD or MOM deals with it.
If there is a question to the punishment we discuss privately away from the kids
My youngest son - totally different kid, laid back, rarely needed any type of punishment for anything other than a lackadaisial attitude towards school. That is still a battle being fought with him at times but he's made some major gains.
Oh WOW did we ever have problems agreeing on this. She insisted I had to be the one to do the whipping when it was time to string them up by the feet naked and use that big strap with the holes in it. She was afraid she would hit them too hard!
Actually we would discuss it and decide on a course of action then as soon as I was not around she would do or not do whatever suited her fancy at that moment. As a result they knew they could get away with just about anything when I wasn't present and the chance of having to pay a price for it was minimal.
For example: we discussed the fact that they would come home from school and immediately go in the living room and squat in front of the TV I felt they should be outside learning how to entertain themselves "in the wild". I felt that time of remaining daylight was better spent getting acquainted with the world outside and homework could be done after supper. We live in an area where you can still wander in the woods and discover nature. We agreed she would make sure they either did that or homework if they didn't want to go outside. I became self employed and worked in back of the house. Whenever I came in the house they would just be leaving the living room (where the TV is) and heading to their rooms or outside. Being a couple bricks shy of a hod it took me several weeks to deduce that she had no intention of applying what we had agreed on. As years progressed it was also obvious that she had no intention of enforcing any rules we agreed on about anything and if I mentioned it she came down on me like the barrel of bricks in Dear Boss. It seemed that whatever method I chose was wrong but she had no consistent method at all so I began staying out of the house as much as I could which was easy to do when I had a dragster that needed my attention 4 evenings a week and some Saturdays to be able to win on Sunday.
I felt they were probably better off with her inconsistent discipline than living with us fighting over it all the time because I would speak up if I was home when I didn't agree with her because it bothered me so much seeing the confusion for them. Watching her frustration created by her lack of consistency drove me up a wall but trying to step in to help was even worse. Now with them on either side of 50 they both look up to me so I guess my decision wasn't too bad but I wish I had had more to do with their growing up years. I see other people who appear to be enjoying a great family experience with their kids as they grow up and I'm envious.
So we are pretty close.
now that you mention it, he never says a word to those two either