As you've seen, each person has a different interpretation of many things whether it be sexuality or even whether you're a virgin or not.
Personally, I think the term virgin or virginity is outdated. The real issue is whether a person is sexually active or not. Sexually active simply means you are or have been engaging in sexual activity whether it's intercourse, oral, anal, and possibly mutual masturbation or other sexual stimulation. To me, solo masturbation is not being sexually active. The verdict too is out whether non-consensual sexual activity implies being sexually active or having lost your virginity. Then too, 2 lesbians or 2 gay males may be considered virgins provided there was no penetration,
Masturbation in itself may not necessarily make your first time easier or less painful. The bigger issue can be is whether sex is not fast, rough, or painful. Masturbation may or may not make sex better, the bigger impact can be whether the hymen is torn or no longer existent. Masturbation, tampons, and other vaginal trauma could cause a hymen tear or for it to broken (a.k.a. Cherry popped). Yet, generally speaking, a broken or torn hymen doesn't mean you're not a virgin.
Do it but once a day more than it will have sideffects