Do You Regret Not Having Children

I had my first child when I was 29, all my life I had told and stuck by that I NEVER wanted children EVER. But then all my friends and co-workers started having children and I felt jealous (don't ask me why!) I knew my husband (which is also my 2nd husband) wanted children (but respected my choice not to have them) so we decided to get pregnant, all through the pregnancy I was fine, no problems it was a breezy, I thought well maybe I was wrong about not wanting kids, but then our 1st son was born and I remembered why I didn't want kids, I didn't want to take care of someone else for EVERYTHING, my freedom was gone, my husband and I could no longer just decide to leave for the weekend, then 6 months later we found out we were having another and I was so upset that I cried. Long story short, I should have stuck to what I already knew which was that I NEVER EVER wanted kids and they have since ruined my life. I can no longer work because if I did my job would only pay to put them in child care, so I have no socialization outside of my home of my 2 sons who are 2 & 3 years old. Everyday I cry about the situation that I am now stuck to be living. If I could go back in time, I would NEVER have kids.

I am fifty years old and I do not regret having children. When I see the issues that some of my friends have to deal with with their children, I see that love is what makes you strive with them, but it's a lot of work. They don't always (or usually?) turn out the way you want them to. 

Personally i do not think you have to be financially good to have a kid. yeah of corse you can give most material things to him or her but look at poor people everywhere around the world they have no money and raise children. maybe you have to put a lot of more effort from your side and not give them everything you wanted to but if you take a look at young teens, they usually have bad things to say about parents that worried in giving them material stuff instead of spending time with them.

I have 8 brothers and sisters who all have children but me. I only regret not having them because I really wanted them but my hubby didn't. Regretfully, we lived together eight years before even discussing it. When we are all together, I miss that interaction they all have with their kids and feel a little left out but the kids and I talk often and get along well. They tell me things they can't discuss with their parents which gives me a special relationship with them. It's way too late for us now, but I have never regretted our final decision.

Look into better birth control options.

Icebreaker - ever heard of birth control?

Hello. I am 42. I regret not having children and am seriously thinking of doing it now. I would suggest you do it while you are younger though. You are at a perfect age in my opinion.

how about using birth control instead of resorting to abortions every time you get pregnant? Women who don't want kids are inherently selfish and you are a prime example of that.

I'm 54 and have no children.  I went through a long period of almost unbearable grief about it, and fell into deep depression, addictions, isolation.  I didn't actually want to live.  I believe this grief was personal, but also the attitudes of society made me feel like ****, useless, nothing.  I wanted to have children, but I didn't want to have children in a bad relationship.  I do not understand how people say you should or shouldn't have children not knowing the situation you're in, or the relationship you're in or not in!  We are all different, and our lives are different.  I think we should all just respect each others' choices - although to be honest I find it hard to respect people who have children in situations where there is domestic violence, addiction, or when they can't afford to support their own children.  There is enough unhappy people in the world already without adding more to the mix!

I have come to terms with my grief now and learned to appreciate the life that I have and the lessons I was put here to learn.  I do get lonely, but I'm not scared of old age and having noone - as many have said above, there is no guarantee that your children will look after you in old age.  I worked in aged care homes and it wasn't just people without children in them.  In fact, the majority did have children.  There's also no guarantee that you'll live long enough to get that old!

"Life is what happens while you're making plans" - so true!  I am happy to be alive these days, but still feel angry at a world that causes so much pain for women without children.  There is also no guarantee that your own children will have children themselves!  And they may one day have to face this kind of grief.  I'm sure most would not wish this upon their children, and wish for the world to be kind to them.

I would never have chosen not to have children, but in my case it didn't feel like a choice.  Women don't make that choice all by themselves.  Many men don't want children.  Many women can't have children.  

I have found my own joy.  It has been a huge challenge, and I feel proud of myself for finding that joy.  It's not something others would recognise to be difficult, but it was for me.  And I feel proud of myself that I've been strong enough to resurrect my own soul against the often painful pressure of the world telling me I'm not a real woman, that I "wouldn't know" about love, that I'm selfish or there is something inherently wrong with me.  I'm a loner these days, but I know I'm good with God, or the great spirit, or whatever it is that rules this world - and that feeling of peace has been worth the years of struggle and heartbreak, and I feel I've got a lot to offer to others now.  I learned a LOT.

I am a woman.  I know what love is.  I am happy to be alive.  That's enough for me now.  Follow your heart, not the multitude of voices out there telling you what to do.  Having children or not having children, neither is easy!

I am a 43 WM in the middle class. I married my wife who is 13 years older than I am in 2002. We had been dating since 1997. She has 1 son who came into my life when he was 10 years old. My relationship with him has been one of my best experiences. My wife and I tried having a child of our own through invitro fertilization and with a surrogate, but unfortunately after a couple of miscarriages and a lot of money and heartache we decided not to procede. Since that time my stepson has graduated highschool and went on to two separate trade schools and is out on his own. He and I remain close. If you ever get the itch to have children, please remember the children that are out there without parents or someone to guide them.

Guest 6: You have filled my eyes with humbling tears. Thanks you sharing you point of view. You were very honest and truthful. May God Bless you and remember if anything happens to either yourself or your husband, you will never be alone as long you believe in God.

Children are a blessing sent from the man above!! Stop regretting your children someday one or even both will make you a very proud parent and who knows one of them might even take you in when you get old and wouldn't be able to provide for yourself. Let me tell you... truth is you might even out live your husband.

I'm 54 and married to my wife who is 10 years older than I. We met when I was only 24- and this seemed a bit scandalous then, before Ashton and Demi. My wife had a horrible job as a med tech in the lab at a hospital- so here is some advice- whether or not you have kids- do not work as a med tech doing medical tests. I'm a computer consultant and professional photographer- but have never made a lot of money. We have bene together 28 years and married the last 18 of those. So the first ten years we were together and unmarried would have been the time to have kids. I have never wanted to have kids- I have very high expectations and felt financially I would not be able to provide the same childhood as I had to my children. Although my parents were middle class they worked hard and sent me through college at their expense. My wife has never had the desire for kids- partially as she felt her job was draining, We are happy without having kids and we have no regrets. OK- here is the kicker- we have no human children- but we do have many fur-kids (cats) . We are rescue people- and not some crazies- our home is clean and the well kept - and the cats have a special fenced yard and climate controlled room outside to themselves. We have friends and although we have family - are not terribly close to them. We stay busy working for animal welfare and donating our time to good causes.

That is why there is adoption. A lot of people can't even conceive of adoption. But the same people would do anything to take care of their puppies or kittens. Adopting a baby is simply the best for the ones who cannot conceive even after trying much.

Please reconsider. Having children will bring you enormous happiness. Many baby boomers declined to have children and they are now facing lonely old age with no one to take care of them. It is especially painful for the women, who almost always regret not having children and feel ashamed that they wasted their fertile years. Whatever satisfaction they got from career is insignificant compared to the sadness they feel when they attend weddings of the children of their friends and relatives or hear about their grandchildren. It is a barren life without children.