I have gone from a mom who was on such a high on life itself never used anything meaning pot, pills, drink, just life but all that changed after my 25yrs marriage ended and I then met another man and my life seemed to be in a fast lane, my new man moved into my home and about 7 months later he moved into my home with my 3 blessed kids, it was a few months after that he came home and said he had something for me and I was excited, what is as was a bag of 100 perks well it happened slowly dipping and dipping a year later he is trading his pot for more perks and I let it happen!! THAT STARTED IN 2002 now this many years later lost alot of friends never telling most of how it started never blaming anybody, and in 2005 his deals ended but my addiction was very hungry and it did not end so I ended up doing oxy and never new anything about them as I was much a hillbilly on drugs never using before and now I carry the tittle of a drug addict and most feel sorry for my new husband and saying that I must add that all came to a crashing stop when one morning 6 months ago I got up and made a tea walked in my bedroom and had a first time experience with a TOTAL meltdown, I cried for 4 hrs as a matter of fact I have 3 stray cats at my farm and one is shy and wild well I started to howl uncontrolable and "paws" the wild cat came right to my head now that was wierd and my man was in the shop but came in for a moment and he heard me and I lost it one him as I always kinda feared him as he is a very strong minded man and does no wrong and I asked him never to give me another pill as he was giving me a codine 250mg a day but what he did not realize is that I had a very bad addiction and now I was sneaking his pills as it took 4 of them to do me any good and when I had that outburst I told him everything and I mean everything not leaving any secrets behind, now for the withdraw as after that day I have had it as it was a warning sign to me. My withdraw was horrible just horrible my legs were lost no strenght, lost 19lbs and I only weigh 109lbs now and I still look at food as some what gross but the hardest thing is sleep I sleep at most 4hrs a night so now I smoke double the amount because I am frustrated, the hardest thing is trying to get back in a normal routine of things without the pills as you kinda depend on them to feel really upbeat when you have friends coming or before going to work, which was my case. I only pray out of this experience I am able to help others the best that I can!! I also made sure that my husband was there when I made contacts with the 2 people who were supplying them to me and told them well he was present that I am so done please do not phone me again and one of the people was my best friend who started to get oxys a few yrs ago but he sells them 7 dollars for a ten mg. as 80's are $40 dollars in Tor. I wanted to thank all of you who shared there story as it helped me alot and I do pray that for you all as well I pray that I will be myself one day and that is high on life as everyone described me prior to all of this, and I hope that one of you have a friend that cares enough to see the change and step in before it becomes years later like in my case.
You are very strong. never lose that.