I HAVE BEEN DATING A GUY FOR SEVEN YEARS ON AND OFF.. HE HAS ALWYS BEEN THE GUY I HAVE FUN WITH.. WE BOTH USED TO GO OUT DRINK, DRUG AND HAVE FUN BUT SOME WHERE ALONG THE WAY I STOPPED.. NOW I AM PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD AND I TOLD HIM THE ONLY WAY WE CAN WORK IS WITH OUT DRUGS AND ALCOHOL.. IT'S A MESS WITH IT.. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN DO.. HE SAYS HE WILL NEVER STOP DRINKING BUT IN MY HEART HE IS MY LOVE OF MY LIFE.. WE BOTH HAVE TREATED EACH OTHER BAD.. YET NOW THAT THIS PREGNANCY IS HERE HE IS WORSE THAN EVER.. I KNOW I CAN'T MAKE HIM CHANGE BUT SHOULD I NOT TALK TO HIM INTILL HE CHANGES.. THAT MEANS HE WON'T SEE HIS CHILD OR ANYTHING.. I'M STUCK, SCARED.. IT IS MY FIRST AND HIS 3RD.. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE>> :'(
Hi hon! I know you don't want to hear what I have to say, but I will say it anyway! He CANNOT be the love of your life, when you state "we both have treated each other bad.. yet now that this pregnancy is here he is worse than ever..." That says it all honey! It tells you what you will be expecting from him in the future. He is NOT willing to change his ways for you, the baby, or anyone else! And NO alcoholic or drug addict EVER quits for other people. They only do it when THEY have had it! I can hazzard a guess when you say treated each other bad that there was violence involved and if you want to elaborate one what you mean by "he is worse than ever.." I wouldn't be surprised if he is verbally, emotionally or physically violent towards you! This will NOT get better honey! you both have led the lifestyle that he is still in! It is a narsacistic lifestyle, that revolves around him and HIS choices! It doesn't include another or a innocent little baby.
You will know in your heart what must be done honey! I can advise you till the cows come home, that he WILL keep abusing you, he WILL turn his anger upon you and the baby, and this WILL never change for him. The only one you can take care of is yourself and this baby! And the 1st thing you have to think about is "Who do I love more - him or myself and my child?" Hopefully you love yourself and this baby enough to make the right decisions. Even if you decide not to carry this baby or give it up for adoption, HE will NEVER change his ways towards you! What has to change is your ways towards yourself! You can't be strong for this baby, if you can't be strong for yourself! I wish you NOTHING but the best choices and health for yourself and your baby! And IF you ever feel endagered, you phone the police and get out of there OK? Good luck honey!
You will know in your heart what must be done honey! I can advise you till the cows come home, that he WILL keep abusing you, he WILL turn his anger upon you and the baby, and this WILL never change for him. The only one you can take care of is yourself and this baby! And the 1st thing you have to think about is "Who do I love more - him or myself and my child?" Hopefully you love yourself and this baby enough to make the right decisions. Even if you decide not to carry this baby or give it up for adoption, HE will NEVER change his ways towards you! What has to change is your ways towards yourself! You can't be strong for this baby, if you can't be strong for yourself! I wish you NOTHING but the best choices and health for yourself and your baby! And IF you ever feel endagered, you phone the police and get out of there OK? Good luck honey!