Oh my, I feel so bad for all of you. I think I came to this site when I was tapering down a few months ago but I am not sure. I was on methadone for five years, and I thought I was doing myself such a favour by going on it. I went to the Methadone Clinic and got on within a week. I wanted to be on for life like my friends. Anyway after five years of methadone and seeing it for what it was, I wanted off. No that's bull the reason I went off was because I used to only have to pick up once a week and get 6 carries, but they found out I was getting a script for tylenol #4's and they made me go every day to pick up so I wanted off because I was too lazy to go everyday and it was cold out. After reading posts here I believe, I was scared as Hell to come off. I went on the step down program at my own request because I wanted to go back to work. They took me down at my own request 5 mgs a week at first and then 2.5. I almost wanted to quit and say put me back on the stuff but didn't. I took my last dose of 2.5 mgs on Jan. 20th 2009. I was so mad at them for not telling me what I was going to face. I was so sick, with such a high fever and the whole nine yards, thankfully, I had my t4's to get through it. It has been a month and I don't know if I am through with withdrawals but it is nothing like the first 10 days. The point I am trying to make I guess is we can get off and be better for it. Life is short. My friend has been on for 20 years and wants off. I just don't know what she is going to do. God Bless all of you and I hope you manage to get off the stuff, at least then you can work from there. Keep Safe. Life is worth living even if it doesn't seem like it at times. I know I cheated with the T4's but big deal. I keep hearing about Suboxone for withdrawal but never tried it, it might help some of you, I don't know.
My Dr. put me on methadone because I have degenerative disc disease, among other things which are still being diagnosed. I recently had to move back in with my parents (in another State) after losing my job over a year ago because of my constant pain.
Back in November, before I had moved back in with my parents, I had run out of pills because I did not have a job and could not see my Dr. nor could I afford to have the prescription refilled. In any case, I detoxed alone (except for my little dog who never leaves my side, praise God!) and it was horrible. I wish I had taken notes so I could remember how long the symptoms lasted.
In any case, when I first move back to this State, I found a Dr. who did refill my script for 80 pills. I didnt care for his attitude because he treated me like an addict that was just looking to keep my habit going and he wasnt interested in trying to find out what else was causing my constant pain. So, stupidly I began taking the methadone again and instantly felt better. As I ran out of the pills again, however, I found a new Dr. who was really interested in helping me find the source of the pain. My new Dr. told me about the dangers of methadone and would not prescribe it. I decided to go cold turkey again, well, I more or less had to because I had just taken my last pill. The reason for this post is because I may have found a way to cope with the anxiety that hits me mostly at night and makes it impossible to sleep.
The anxiety I feel is the "flight or fight" response that is built into humans and helps us to survive difficult situations. It is a nusiance, however, when it decides to activate when you are trying to sleep!!! I am a Christian and a praying person so I asked God to help me detox again. The thought entered my mind "How can I use this to my benefit?" The answer for me is exercise. So whenever I get the anxiety, I workout on my mother's exercise equipment until I breath hard and start to sweat. I get several hours of relief from this. I believe that the exercise makes my body feel "normal" because now the flight or fight response is being used as God intended it. When I workout enough to breath hard & sweat, there is also a release of endorphins which promotes a sense of well- being. (also a normal God-gioven response.) I share this because I truly hope it helps someone else. I also encourage you all to pray your way through your withdrawal and I will pray for you as well.
Back in November, before I had moved back in with my parents, I had run out of pills because I did not have a job and could not see my Dr. nor could I afford to have the prescription refilled. In any case, I detoxed alone (except for my little dog who never leaves my side, praise God!) and it was horrible. I wish I had taken notes so I could remember how long the symptoms lasted.
In any case, when I first move back to this State, I found a Dr. who did refill my script for 80 pills. I didnt care for his attitude because he treated me like an addict that was just looking to keep my habit going and he wasnt interested in trying to find out what else was causing my constant pain. So, stupidly I began taking the methadone again and instantly felt better. As I ran out of the pills again, however, I found a new Dr. who was really interested in helping me find the source of the pain. My new Dr. told me about the dangers of methadone and would not prescribe it. I decided to go cold turkey again, well, I more or less had to because I had just taken my last pill. The reason for this post is because I may have found a way to cope with the anxiety that hits me mostly at night and makes it impossible to sleep.
The anxiety I feel is the "flight or fight" response that is built into humans and helps us to survive difficult situations. It is a nusiance, however, when it decides to activate when you are trying to sleep!!! I am a Christian and a praying person so I asked God to help me detox again. The thought entered my mind "How can I use this to my benefit?" The answer for me is exercise. So whenever I get the anxiety, I workout on my mother's exercise equipment until I breath hard and start to sweat. I get several hours of relief from this. I believe that the exercise makes my body feel "normal" because now the flight or fight response is being used as God intended it. When I workout enough to breath hard & sweat, there is also a release of endorphins which promotes a sense of well- being. (also a normal God-gioven response.) I share this because I truly hope it helps someone else. I also encourage you all to pray your way through your withdrawal and I will pray for you as well.
I'm on day 21 off 20mg a day for 10 months. I thought coming off that little would be uncomfortable at most but it's shear hell!!! i have been on everything known to aid in the process including good multi-vitamin, melotonin, 5-HTP, vitamin C, multi-antioxidant, 100 GRAMS of protein via 100% whey protein shake, milk thistle, ginger root, and took out all the sugar and soda ect from my diet. i took double the suggested dosage for all the supplements. i was feeling much better by day 10 (yes it's possible with milk thistle, it improves the livers ability to clean the blood). still though not a full nights sleep by day 19. then my girlfriend got some Ambien (strong sleeping pills) and i made the mistake of taking some to get a full nights rest. BAD IDEA!!!! my withdrawals feel like day 6. if you are serious about getting off methadone, and you should be. dont take ANY other meds! NO XANAX, NO muscle relaxers, NO sleeping pills. do take lots of hot baths/showers and drink tons of water At least 10 glasses. Propel brand water is the best because it replenishes the salts in your body with little sugar. if you drink a lot of plain water it can dehydrate you by flushing out your body's necessary salts. when i couldnt sleep i would wake up drink a bottle of propel water, take a hot bath and try to sleep again. sleep is so important, it's when your brain is healing and your liver is cleaning the methadone out of your system . protein is equally important. if you do only two things increase your protein and drink water.
Remember all the pain and discomfort is in your head (does not make it any easier). your legs are not really in pain and there is nothing to be anxious about. the withdrawals are your brain telling your body there's some work to be done to restore balance. your brain needs to heal. so take deep breaths, go for a walk, dont let the addiction win. almost forgot, picked up some Rescue Sleep brand herbal sleep spray from GNC (they sell it at walmart too i think). the directions said to use 2 sprays but i did 20 (literally) it was the first night i got 5 hours of straight sleep and the following day was the first i was feeling better. do yourself a a favor, go to GNC and stock up on supplements. and dont stop taking them when your feeling better, poor nutrition = depression. depression is the reason MOST of us are in this mess in the first place. keep writing people, when i felt like giving in your testimonials were an oasis.
Remember all the pain and discomfort is in your head (does not make it any easier). your legs are not really in pain and there is nothing to be anxious about. the withdrawals are your brain telling your body there's some work to be done to restore balance. your brain needs to heal. so take deep breaths, go for a walk, dont let the addiction win. almost forgot, picked up some Rescue Sleep brand herbal sleep spray from GNC (they sell it at walmart too i think). the directions said to use 2 sprays but i did 20 (literally) it was the first night i got 5 hours of straight sleep and the following day was the first i was feeling better. do yourself a a favor, go to GNC and stock up on supplements. and dont stop taking them when your feeling better, poor nutrition = depression. depression is the reason MOST of us are in this mess in the first place. keep writing people, when i felt like giving in your testimonials were an oasis.
Well.. just wanted to give some support to those that may be going through this hell as well. A little about me.. had a spinal compression fracture that crushed two vertebrae and herniated four discs after it was all said and done. Mind you I was 13 years old, first vicodin, norco's at 14, percocet at 15, MS Contin by 18, Duragesic at 20, Oxy's at 23 eventually up to 720mg per day... Not joking or exaggerating here. Wanted off... tired of not being present for any part of what was my so called life.. when I told my pain management dr this he suggested switching to methadone and tapering off because it doesnt have the side effects that had been affecting my life for so long, and its not as painful! HAHAHA! I was titrated to 650mg/day of methadone just to keep wd's away. Only I was more screwed up then before... Found myself falling asleep at the wheel in broad daylight. This scared me and I had them taper me 50mg/day to 400. That was easy... eventually made the decision to get off it all together, and tapered 25/day to 50 and then stopped all together. It's day 13... all I can say is find yourself some DLPA and you'll be fine.. didnt know about it until two days ago and have gone from excruciating pain to manageable and feel so great to finally be free of methadone... You can do it... keep yourself distracted.. eat and drink as much good food as you can.. I eat a 90% organic diet (hey nobody is perfect, lol) and I think that helps too. Good luck to all
"Do you consider yourself a patient or a junkie? The only thing that separates is who takes your money.." -Slug
"Do you consider yourself a patient or a junkie? The only thing that separates is who takes your money.." -Slug
my name is luke, im 22 years old..and i need to be studying for an exam i have at 8am..
but i cant because my brain is saturated with the sad sounds of my father throwing up in our kitchen trash can while going through his withdrawls from methadone.. he was on it for about 3-4 years..and got off it once..but claims he went too fast..and he the pain was unbearable and he couldnt get through work(mechanic)..so he went back on it.
since then hes lost his job..sold all of his musical equipment..sold his truck..anything of value to pay for the rent and utilities and his methadone...he was on a plan where he didnt have to pay for like 3 months..but that has run out..so he had to detox and feels he can do it this time because hes not working so it wont be as hard to deal with.
over the years ive came to the conclusion that methadone is complete BS..its just a way for the government to make money off of junkies legally..its just as addicting and just as hard to get off of as heroine.
i plead with all of you..that if you DO get off of it..stay off it..and dont go back and go through the motions again..your life wont get any better until you completely eliminate your addictions..
good luck to all of you
but i cant because my brain is saturated with the sad sounds of my father throwing up in our kitchen trash can while going through his withdrawls from methadone.. he was on it for about 3-4 years..and got off it once..but claims he went too fast..and he the pain was unbearable and he couldnt get through work(mechanic)..so he went back on it.
since then hes lost his job..sold all of his musical equipment..sold his truck..anything of value to pay for the rent and utilities and his methadone...he was on a plan where he didnt have to pay for like 3 months..but that has run out..so he had to detox and feels he can do it this time because hes not working so it wont be as hard to deal with.
over the years ive came to the conclusion that methadone is complete BS..its just a way for the government to make money off of junkies legally..its just as addicting and just as hard to get off of as heroine.
i plead with all of you..that if you DO get off of it..stay off it..and dont go back and go through the motions again..your life wont get any better until you completely eliminate your addictions..
good luck to all of you
my name is luke and im 22 years old..and i need to be studying for an exam i have at 8am..
but i cant because my brain is saturated with the sad sounds of my father throwing up in our kitchen trash can while going through his withdrawls from methadone.. he was on it for about 3-4 years..and got off it once..but claims he went too fast..and he the pain was unbearable and he couldnt get through work(mechanic)..so he went back on it.
since then hes lost his job..sold all of his musical equipment..sold his truck..anything of value to pay for the rent and utilities and his methadone...he was on a plan where he didnt have to pay for like 3 months..but that has run out..so he had to detox and feels he can do it this time because hes not working so it wont be as hard to deal with.
over the years ive came to the conclusion that methadone is complete BS..its just a way for the government to make money off of junkies legally..its just as addicting and just as hard to get off of as heroine.
i plead with all of you..that if you DO get off of it..stay off it..and dont go back and go through the motions again..your life wont get any better until you completely eliminate your addictions..
good luck to all of you
-luke
but i cant because my brain is saturated with the sad sounds of my father throwing up in our kitchen trash can while going through his withdrawls from methadone.. he was on it for about 3-4 years..and got off it once..but claims he went too fast..and he the pain was unbearable and he couldnt get through work(mechanic)..so he went back on it.
since then hes lost his job..sold all of his musical equipment..sold his truck..anything of value to pay for the rent and utilities and his methadone...he was on a plan where he didnt have to pay for like 3 months..but that has run out..so he had to detox and feels he can do it this time because hes not working so it wont be as hard to deal with.
over the years ive came to the conclusion that methadone is complete BS..its just a way for the government to make money off of junkies legally..its just as addicting and just as hard to get off of as heroine.
i plead with all of you..that if you DO get off of it..stay off it..and dont go back and go through the motions again..your life wont get any better until you completely eliminate your addictions..
good luck to all of you
-luke
I am 53 years old started using heroin at 17,I am HIV+ and have HEP C.I was detoxed from my methadone clinic 1 week,2 days.I had been on in 1984 stayed 2 years on 65mg and detoxed 2mg a month,it took about a year and I had no withdrawls at all,I felt GREAT!Then my old man tested positive for full blown AIDS,they put him on roxynol for pain and back I go again.We were both put back on the methadone clinic in 1989 and I have been there since until they detoxed me,I was on 100mg and it took 10 days at 10mgs a day,which I feel is just setting us up tp fail and go back to the streets!!!!!!!!!!!!I am determined to stay clean and although at one point methadone saved my life,I will NEVER touch it again.The clinics now are more for pregnant girls than heroin addicts which is what it was made for in the first place.When I got on the first time I had to show them my tracks!!!!!!!!!!! I also feel we need more support and advocacy for the clients.No one will stick up for us anymore,it did not use to be like that.GOD BLESS you all and do not waste your life in liquid handcuffs,stay clean,stay strong!!!!!!!!!
I started taking methadone 6yrs ago,I had a really traumatic experience I was almost murdered.I moved to a new town.I went on self destruct heavy drinking,amphetatmines,E`s anything I could lay my hands on just to block out the flashbacks and memories.I didn`t realise at the time I had post traumatic stress.I was drunk at "friends" house and they offered me methadone linctus,so i took a nip.Then I started taking it daily for the feeling and to sleep at night dosage creeping up and up.Then It wasn`t enough i started buying and injecting 50ml methadone ampoule a day,then that wasn`t enough I ended up on 2 50ml amps and 1 20ml amp injecting IV.I was injecting phet too and occasional E`s and still drinking heavily (Im surprised Im still here)After 4 years of this I started to see the light stopped taking phet which was easy.I stopped the heavy drinking about 9 mths ago I can take it or leave it now.I stopped taking the amps IV and started injecting muscular,Ive managed over about 5 months to get down to 10ml(I split a 20m amp in 2 for the 2 days)Ive not been to a clinic as i buy the amp from someone every other day.Im in UK so thanks to NHS we get it all free,which is also a bad thing cos a lot of heroin addicts are getting methadone then selling it to buy gear.You can get a 50ml amp for £7-£10 and 20ml for about£5.Anyway to get to the point Ive been on 10ml injecting intra muscular for about a month now.Could anyone give us any advice on how to reduce,and are the withdrawal symptoms worse if your on the ampoules.So far Ive not been to bad apart from insomnia and belly ache.Im 39 yr old woman and want to sort myself out before I hit 40.Ive been diagnosed with low thyroid levels from blood test couple of weeks ago,they were normal last november,could this possibly be from reducing my methadone or do you think its nothing to do with it?Would be grateful for any advice or similar experiences.Thanks
I wish I'd never started taking methadone. I am trying to get off it and have been trying for several weeks now and I am still having leg cramps so bad I just cry. My doctor ordered me Methadone because of my severe back pain. I couldnt function because the pain was so bad. I didnt want to take the drug in the first place, but he insisted.. I cannot go two days without some now. I am trying to just use 10mg every other day and take a 5mg every other day. I am depressed, I hurt all over, moody,having feelings of doom,, and it's horrible!!!! I just cant shake it.. Is there any medication that can help these symptoms. HOnestly I have hurt so bad I wanted to die!!!! SO I do understand how you feel.. It is awful and I will never ever take it again in my life if I ever get over this.. I'ts like poison to my body.. I can bearly walk now, because my legs have been cramping all nite long. They are so sore from the cramps that it's like I"ve been funning for miles and miles.I have never seen anything lke it.. PLEASE NEVER TAKE THIS MEDICAtion... i HURT so bad with my back now, and have had one surgery and need another one, and with the pain of this and the methadone withdrawals, I'm just a mess.. I certainly know how you feel!!!!!!!
I recently quit taking methadone 4 days ago from 60 mg's straight off, frikkin cold turkey. I tried telling myself it was all mental and the first 24 hrs was hell. The last 3 days have been fine weak legs, no sleep but thats about it. But f**k about an hour ago my leg muscle's are going nuts to the point I cant sleep. Will muscle relaxer's help? Ive been taking xanex and thats helped with the mental but as far as the leg sh*t I always got that real bad when I went through heroin withdrawls. maybe someone knows what im talking about, my G/F's getting tired of gettin kicked off the bed. Get OFF THI sh*t AND NEVER RETURN!!!
About 2yrs ago started taking hydro 10mg too many to count daily and 1 year and 2 months ago began methadone at 10 mg a day never went to a clinic because of a busy schedule and its a 2 hr drive to nearest 1. Anyways I am on my 4th day no methdone and miseable. Im not sure how long this will last with me being on a lower mg would it end quicker, I did talk to dr. and he said it should seeing how its a storage drug. And on 10mg a day i might not have that much stored. They thing that is concerning me the most is I am having mild pain in the left side of my chest since my first day off of it I mean its bearable pain just scarey location Any advice? Or y my chest is hurting?
My name is Matt, I am 20 years old. I've been on methadone for over a year at doses from 80-130mg. I used to be a heroin user and my parents were desperate for me to quit using. They quickly signed me up for a methadone clinic and paid for my first 5 or so months of dosing. Eventually I had to pay the 80$ a week myself, and then recently lost my job due to downsizing. I could not afford the weekly payments and had to quit, they lowered me from 90 to 60 the next to 30 two days later then the next day they told me I'd have to pay in order to get dosed. This was a month and 10 days ago. (If I am able to sleep) I wake up to throw up several times until I pass back out. At all times of the day it feels like my muscles are being ripped from my bones and my bones feel like they are being hollowed out from the inside. My head is in constant pain from headaches that only seem to affect the back of my eyeballs. I throw up very violently at any given time whether I have eaten or not. I am in intense pain at any given time. My girlfriend actually thinks I'm bipolar now because of the withdrawals. I am constantly depressed, I never leave my room let alone bed. I lay there starring at a blank T.V wishing myself back to the old me before I used. It's been a month a 10 days since I last dosed and it seems each day only gets worst. Is this normal or do I have a disease or maybe really am bipolar now. I have no idea what to do, I'm going f*****g nuts and just want to drown myself in a river.
Has anyone else suffered this long? Please make me feel not so alone.
-Matt
Has anyone else suffered this long? Please make me feel not so alone.
-Matt
I'm also going through withdrawal from methadone. Was put on it for severe chronic pain which they now think was caused by too low cortisol levels. (One expert said the pain was from brain damage from radiation I received after the removal of a large (7cm) pituitary tumor). The pain started suddenly at level 9 one morning in July 2007, three months after a series of three brain surgeries for CSF leaks.
When I read your stories about the docs who are too busy, or too lazy or too overwhelmed to help you, I realize I'm not the only one. I'm alone which is hard, but it sounds like having your abusive family around is much much worse. I so wish I could be there with you to give you the empathy you need to get through this very hard time.
When I read your stories about the docs who are too busy, or too lazy or too overwhelmed to help you, I realize I'm not the only one. I'm alone which is hard, but it sounds like having your abusive family around is much much worse. I so wish I could be there with you to give you the empathy you need to get through this very hard time.
Matt, GET TO THE ER IMMEDIATELY! YOU'RE COMING OFF TOO FAST~!!!!! CALL AN AMBULANCE AND THEY WILL PUT YOU HIGHER ON THE WAIT LIST.
TO ANYONE LOOKING FOR HOPE, I HAVE ALITTLE : i was addicted to opiates really bad for 5 years. Starting with a harmless half a vicodin(so i thought)progressing to methodone which i found on the street. At my worse i was taking 30 percoct, just to get me through my waitressing job, and as many methodone pills as i could afford, 10 pills a day or up and was still going through withdrawl symptoms at night. The only thing that slightly excited me was knowing that i wouldnt be sick for a couple hours.....It got to the point where just bought heroin and sniffed it because it was the only thing i could get ahold of. Yes i was one of those people who would never sniff, let alone be around that stuff. I wanted to stop but the physical withdrawl made it IMPOSSIBLE! I spent every single penny i made for 2 years on pills trying to feel "normal" i knew that as long as it was an opiate it would take my pain away. Put myself in the most craziest situations, around the wierdest people just to know id be okay for a couple hours. I numbed my pain(not physical) in the being high all the time. This pattern continued way after i knew i was addicted and soon the pills were the root of my pain and i needed them to function normally. I remember pulling up to a store and just sitting in my car looking at all these"normal" people really in envy and couldnt understand how they were happy without taking pills, i forgot, couldnt remember a normal day, true laughter, true feeling. All i wanted to do was be like them. My entire life was consumed with pills, i was obsessed with how to get them. I put my mother through so much, lying, stealing disprspecting her, we all know the how we do. So my boyfriend knew how bad i wanted to be clean, be normal and helped me wein from 10 methodone pills a day to four which was very difficult but i couldnt get any lower than that because it was too hard, literally. I couldnt work or even get out of bed. So anyway one day the person i got the methodone from was out until next script which was like 12 days, omg 12 days what was i suppost to do? that was eternity. I was starting to get sick and tired of being sick and tired, so i started sniffing heroin because thats all that was available. I found myself with a needle in hand but for some reason didnt do it. I ended calling off work the next day which was a first for me my whole addiction because i was too sick to stand, sleep, breath or blink. My boyfriend comes home with a number to a rehad facility wanting me to call right then and there. i didnt want to do it ya know, i was scared to leave everything i knew for the last 5 years, but was also tired of living like this in the same sense and really wanted to get clean. So the next day which was August 27th, 2009 at 6am i called....they had a driver pick me up and take me to the rehab. I was so scared, so scared..............so i go there and i tell the evaluating nurse what i an withdrawling from and she told me that i better be ready because kicking methodone is 10xs harder than kicking heroine. I already had a taste weining myself down so i knew it wouldt be easy. That first night detoxing was something i dont wish on my worst enemy. Every second seriously felt like an hour, the night was so long. I couldnt sleep with my lower back, that was the worst thing for me. Couldnt lay in any position for more than 5 seconds then there was always the Shaking(tremors), severe hot and cold sweats, vomiting,involuntary bowls, and i dont know if it was just me but my whole body ached. Like i felt my bones aching, every single one from my pinky toe up. I feel like the pain is too horrible to describe. So after the 6th day i felt like i got a good grip on my withdraws and that i could handle the rest on my own. I complete the detox program and go home. I get home feel okay and think im well on my way, 1 day later my withdrawl symptoms come back 10 fold. Im just miserable and want to get more methodone, It didnt help she lived 2 houses down the block. i thought to myself... how far i came. 24 hours is a miracle for any addict let along 8 days which is the farthest id ever been to being "normal". i knew that if i were to go to her just this one time id be throwing away everything i worked so hard for up to that point, all the pain to just go through it again? i dont think so. So i took it day by day hoping for release for a let up in agony, a month passed and i only felt alittle better. It was very discourging, i felt like i was going to feel like that forever. days felt like months but i kept forward not looking back only front telling myself that another day down even if i had to sit and stare at the wall till sunrise, it was another day under my belt. Alittle over two months clean on November 2nd, 2010...the lord took my mom away, she was only 51 for crying out loud im was only 22 at the time and i needed my mom and still do more than ever at 23. Gradually all my symptons went away and i was normal. Not being able to show my mom who her daughter really was is what i think about. now i think about all the times she just wanted to hang out with me and i was too worried about what?, f!@#$*g me. I miss her and i cant talk to her, i cant hear her laugh or feel her warmth and things are hard for me but i know that i am clean today and i dont know how i did it. I was able to tell her that i was clean, even though she was discusted with me i know she loved me. i know she sees me down here doing the right thing. Yes i am clean but i am so unhappy. I just want to show mom who i really am. im not the person who she knew and i wont ever get a chance to make it up to her. i love you mom rip. So here i am on July 26th, 2010 clean not addicted and everything i went through to get here was so worth it. Here i am clean and sober with no mom to share it with, im really doing it for her and myself. when traumatic things happen in our lives we can go 2 ways, up or down. Well im tired of going down its time to go up im strong. life will go on and the sun will come up the next day its up to us what we wanna do with our day